That Explains All Those Wimbledon Upsets
June 28, 2008 by Jodie Lynn Boduch
Filed under Sports Rumors, Tennis
We are huge tennis fans, such that if we were every inclined to light candles before an athlete, it would be Roger Federer. *cues a “Hallelujah!” from the choir*
This 8 to 5 concept called “work” has kept our sorry bottom from parking in front of the TV to watch Wimbledon all day (except for today), but we have kept up with lives scores and the latest updates.
The early exits of Novak Djokovic, Maria Sharapova (yay! Glad she’s gone!), Andy Roddick, and Ana Ivanovic were, of course, big news this week. We thought all those top seeds dropping was a little sketchy, and now Frank Coffey and his band of merry men (and women) at eTrueSports confirmed our suspicions that something was up . . .
Sour Clotted Cream Called Culprit In Major Upsets
Wimbledon, England – The unprecedented string of upsets seen at Wimbledon’s 2008 Championships, which has already claimed top-seeded Ana Ivanovic and No. 3 seed Maria Sharapova on the women’s side, and No. 3 seed Novak Djokovic, No. 6 Andy Roddick and No. 9 James Blake on the men’s, is being blamed on sour clotted cream.
“I hope this doesn’t sound like sour grapes, well, cream,” said Sharapova, “but the bowl of strawberries and cream I ate was rancid, and because I have a cold I couldn’t smell it.”
“What ever happened to quality control?” said an angry Andy Roddick. “I’m out because of a spoiled milk product? This stinks.”
In a possibly related development, Lindsay Davenport withdrew today from the tournament, citing a knee injury. However, sources close to the ever-polite Davenport reported that the ex-champion, after consuming two punnets of strawberries dressed with cream and sugar after dinner last night, said: “I just made a big mistake.”
Wimbledon officials are hotly denying the sour clotted cream rumors. “Our clotted cream is the world’s finest,” said a spokesman, before implying that the rumors may have been spread by “disgruntled Danish dairy farmers seeking competitive advantage.”
The Wimbledon official’s claim was immediately rejected by Denmark’s Queen Margrethe II who, in unusually blunt language, said “curdle this you English snobs.”
