I can condition my son and daughter to be less gender-role identified.

The business world is greatly impacted by a male paradigm of work. That is true.

But, it doesn’t mean we can’t change the paradigm. Working through organizations like Momsrising.org (www.momsrising.org) we can add the feminine flare of work expectations.

If we get the family leave insurance act passed both genders can take time off to deal with birth or illness, if we get universal health insurance passed more people will be able to start small businesses or work for small businesses and we won’t be handcuffed to the male corporate paradigm for health insurance, if we pass tax incentives that push for flexible work hours women won’t have to be making such extreme either/or choices about working.

I actively work for more feminine friendly business legislation, and on the home front, I teach my daughter to be more empowered in finances and auto maintenance – here’s my Empowering Girls: So Sioux Me website plug: http://www.sosiouxme.com – and I put a play kitchen in my sons room and let him play with baby dolls and teach him to cook.

Gender is going to be less of a Thing in business because Mothers are Changing More Than Diapers – we’re changing the world – even the business world.

I’ve been thinking about this a LOT lately because, at 26 and coming up on my 4th wedding anniversary, I’m thinking kids aren’t too far down the line for us. And I’m kind of freaked — not just with the whole concept of being someone’s mom, but with how it’s going to affect the career I’ve been busting my butt to build for the last 4 years. Yikes.

Do I have any answers? Nope. But I think asking the questions and sharing the uncertainties is a valuable contribution to the dialogue.

In your case, your husband would give a nanny a job; you’d encourage other home business moms. You each have your unique contribution in the lives of people around you…and in the world.

I know of one dad whose boss was very negative because he shared childcare responsibilities with his wife and often had to go home early or be absent because it was his turn to care for the sick child.

The more walls you put up, the less likely you are to get a position and advance quickly.

The performance dip does occur during the kid years. They miss more work for child care/medical issues early on. And later they end up taking more personal calls. They also don’t bring the same general focus. Yes, if you’re really looking at performance it is noticeable.

Now, during the early and later periods, women may even perform better than men. Because they aren’t distracted, they seem much more focused and driven than most men their own age. But in the later period, they often lack situational experience (management, current technology, etc.).