The Playstation 3’s Amazing Break-Apart Controller!

Impress your friends with with the Playstation 3’s fab break-apart motion sensing controller! Place the two separate halves down your pants and unleash their mystical twin powers!

–Learn ancient Chinese secrets for infinite wealth and p3n15 growth!

–Bulk up without lifting weights!

–Slim down while eating Big Macs all day long!

–Be better with the ladies!! Secret pheromones are released at regular intervals from a gland hidden under the d-pad, thereby making you irresistible to nearby females—

You know what, I haven’t eaten anything nutritious all day and I should probably do something about that.

Nothing in this video is confirmed fact, by the way, except for this: whosoever shall wield this controller will have a bitching Ninja weapon. I think a Test of Honour should be a must for any hopeful owners. This will require a new chapter in EB’s training video, but it’s a vital investment.

“I’ll take this Sony motion controller, please.”

“You must defeat me in honourable combat before you are deemed worthy to wield the weapon of my ancestors.”

“Sony released this last week—”

“FALCO-PAUNCH!!”