The Power of Blanding – It takes hard work to bore your stakeholders

The world is full of dull, grey public relations efforts. This might lead the casual observer to think this is because a bland news release is easier to write than an interesting one.

Looks can be deceiving.

Companies have spent decades honing their ability to bore journalists, conference attendees, investors and other important audiences. Many a senior manager, veins popping, has had to forcefully exert a consistent bland image.

To help you extinguish any differentiation from competitors, Common Sense PR offers this valuable resource.

CORPORATE BLANDING CHECKLIST

1) Avoid active verbs, which can lead to accountability.

2) Plant the seeds of doubt. “Are you sure we should say this?”

3) Arrange imaginative photo opps, like cheque presentations, ribbon cutting ceremonies, groups standing around a computer.

4) Pepper quotes with jargon and acronyms. If God didn’t want you to use acronyms, there wouldn’t be a CAPS LOCK key.

5) Anything worth doing is worth doing with PowerPoint. Bring your own portable projector, just in case. Make sure every point you make is on screen.

6) Make sure any corporate citizenship efforts are free from controversy. Stick to diseases that everyone knows and understands. Beware socialist front groups like The United Way and The Red Cross. There’s a reason their logos are red.

7) Never use 10 words when 35 will do.

8 ) For speaking events, start with a joke. Preferably, use the same joke for every event.

9) Watch out for situations where off-the-cuff comments might occur. Repeat the key messages, even when asked about the weather.

10) Always read things over with a critical eye. Does any phrase or word choice stand out? Get rid of it.

This checklist is a good reference, but don’t forget to follow your organization’s policies and procedures strictly. They’re your friend in avoiding attention, and preventing potential embarrassment.

You can build on existing blanding efforts by formalizing a senior role responsible for corporate blanding. Many companies are naming a Chief Blanding Officer or a Bland Evangelist.

Tags: branding, public relations, blanding, differentiation, jargon, humor, photo opps, cliches, news releases, speeches, powerpoints