The Weekend in Pigskinnery: 2 Jobs 1 Coach

- So, the Les Miles thing happened exactly as I thought and hoped it would. (I prefer Brian Kelly for the Michigan job and thought it would be in Les Miles’ interest to stay at LSU) And yet, I was extremely excited on Saturday morning and extremely disappointed by the end of the day. I have no explanation for that. I just got caught up in the hoopla. Let that be a warning for you, hoopla may seem like fun, but has dire consequences. Oh well, he can do some good for the general welfare of the Wolverines by beating Ohio State. Someone has to.

 If Les coached at Michigan, what would he do with his purple tie?

- The Browns – Cardinals game ended with such blatantly poor officiating that it overshadowed the Browns awesomely contrived 2-points conversion. It was a combination quarterback-explains-audible-to-wide-receiver whilst theres a direct-snap-to-running-back who does play-actions-the-draw and pulls up and passes to the wide open tight end. What a gimmick-to-yard ration! Also, it proved that the jump portion of the jump-pass is completely unnecessary, which I had suspected all along. Tebow is just showing off.

- West Virginia, how the hell did that happen?

- The BCS selection show was hosted by that guy who does the Best Damn Sports Show Period. That’s all the information you need to figure out how insipid that bit of manufactured drama was.

- Adrian Peterson looked awesome, but he was playing against the mid-free-fall Lions, so you’d have to take that performance with a grain of salt. Just remember, Tavaris Jackson looked good, too.

- It will be a cold day in hell before the BCS committee recognizes Missourah!

- (Runner-up to above joke: “Missouri was originally invited to a BCS bowl, but the decision was repealed by the Kansas-Virginia Tech Act.” Seriously, one of these days an Antebellum politics joke is going to stick, I swear this to you!)

- Eli Manning out-unsucked Rex Grossman in the “These Are NFL Quarterbacks?” Bowl. Sales of Citizen Eco-Drives skyrocketed as a result.

- Sunday’s brotherly statistical comparsion! McCowns (Luke and Josh): 454 yards, 5 TDs, 1 INT. Mannings (Peyton and Elisha): 483 yards, 5 TDs, 3 INTs. The McCowns win on the tiebreaker for having one less obnoxiously omnipresent parent.

- ESPN has just reported that Les Miles will not coach for LSU or Michigan, but instead will coach no one until the WGA strike is resolved. Solidarity!

- Without the Packers, Cowboys, or Patriots playing on Sunday, I came to the realization that at least two thirds of the teams in the NFL are bad. I don’t understand how that happened, but it did.