Things That Make Me Feel Old

Chris Webber is retiring. And now, the requisite time-out clip. Let’s just get it out of the way.

Yes, Chris Webber’s legacy will forever be tied to the Fab Five — along with cohorts Jimmy King, Ray Jackson, Juwan Howard and Jalen Rose — and that fateful timeout. And although they never technically existed, I still have fond memories of the Fab Five. Black socks and the baggy shorts became required clothing, even for us whitest of children. The Fab Five was cool. If I had to do it again, I would. Yes, even though the ripple effect has essentially destroyed Michigan basketball, damn those guys were cool. And despite never being better than runner-up, they are the most memorable college basketball team of the 90s (and perhaps the most important.) I looked good in those black Nike socks.

And so, Chris Webber, the most notable of the Fab Five, is retiring. He’s ending his career that became an odd manifestation of the Fab Five: one with high expectations that would fall just short, and often fall just short in particularly devastating fashion (see Kings-Lakers game seven.) And I feel really old.