This Just In, Joel Zumaya Rocks Harder Than You Ever Imagined

The Rock gods approve! Joel Zumaya’s forearm inflammation wasn’t caused by his face-melting fastball, but by face-melting guitar solos on Guitar Hero! What, you haven’t heard of Guitar Hero? Get with the rocking times! Squeadily, deedily, whaaaa! Guitar Hero rocks so hard that your little conformist mind would explode into a thousand pieces if you could begin to think about comprehending the rocking-ness of Joel Zumaya’s flame-tattooed forearms rocking his ax! Dave Dombrowski thinks that the injury won’t be a long-term problem because it’s unrelated to Zumaya’s pitching. Think again, sister. Rock is no fad, Rock is a life-long way of life. ROCK! Joel Zumaya, you keep on Rocking, don’t let the man keep you down. Stick it to the man. Rock will never die.

[Guitar Solo]

Whaaa, Whaaa-Whaaa, Wheedily-Deedily-Do-Bah, Whaaaa, Whaaaaa-Whaaaa, Wheedily-Deedily-Wheedily-Whaaaaaa….Do-BAH! DO BAH! DO-BAAAWHAAABHAAAAWHAAA! Wheedily-Deedily, Wheedily-Deedily, Wheedily-Wheedily-WHA WHA WHA WHA WHA WHA, DO BAH!
[/Guitar Solo]

Joel, don’t stop Rocking at 101 MPH. Rock on!