Too Much Wine Maybe?
July 2, 2007 by Deborah Ng
Filed under Entertainment
So this guy offers his kingdom for a wine reviewer:
“My Kindom For a Wine Reviewer
“Desperately seeking a wine reviewers for my new website. We are currently focusing on the Livermore Valley wine region, but I will also accept reviews on wineries from other regions as well. This is a non paying gig that may develope into a paying gig down the road as the website gets off the ground. What I can offer is a posting of your review with your byline. I also notify the reviewed winery of the review. So far the website has been well received and is growing daily on average number of unique visitors. You do not need to be an expert in wine. You should have a passion for it, and be able to describe not only your opinion of the wine, but your overall experience at the winery as well (if you visited the winery).
“Please feel free to visit our website prior to your submission. “
So this guy first offers his kingdom for a wine reviewer and I get all excited. What do you think his kingdom includes? Fancy cars? A big old house? A Wii? I’ll review wine for a kingdom. Heck, I’ll review wine for twenty bucks!
Then he says the position is volunteer. WTF? Are you offering your kingdom or is this volunteer because I’m confused? Unless your kingdom really doesn’t have anything but some armor and a dragon, but even that’s cooler than volunteering. Oh wait. I see. The guy is being funny. Heh.
So, what do I get for my efforts? A byline. My review will be posted with a byline. Woo hoo frickin’ hoo, I’m in the big time now. I get my name mentioned underneath a picture of a bottle of chardonnay. Oh wait, it gets better. The winery will know my name too. Well hell, color me there.
Ass.
Is a “develope” like a cante-lope or a ante-lope?
Or is it one of those “Devo” singers with the tupperware on their heads?
I’d take my pay in a bottle or two of wine, yanno. I can be had cheap. But I’m not free! harumph!
Ha – you’d like to THINK he’s offering you his “kingdom.” If you look closely, however, you will see that he’s actually offering you his “kindom.”
This devious slug is looking for some careless drunkard upon whom he can pawn off his bratty children and/or freeloading relatives.
Clearly he’d been hitting the sauce.
The more “exposure” we’re offered, the more I think we’re missing our calling – nude writers! Oo, careful with that pen.
Dave – I think it’s like “shoppe”. You know, it makes something blah sound more impressive.
Leslie – ha! That’s so funny… I totally misread “kindom”. Good catch!
Lori – Is it a “ball” point pen? (I guess I woke up with a dirty mind this morning…)
What makes this even more ass is that most wineries have tasting fees ($3-$20)! So, he wants someone to go on their own time, pay to drink the wine & listen to the hosts drivel on & on about how special their brew is, and then write about it for free! Hah!