Top Phrases To Avoid During Sex

Every man makes the mistake of getting a little too vocal in the bedroom from time to time. We lose our focus and let the filter between our penis and our mouth slip. It usually leads to awkward moments or anger and it is always our fault.

For these reason, I have come up with a few phrases not to say while doing the deed.

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Any name but hers. There is no way to end a relationship faster than calling your girlfriend by another girl’s name. If you are in the beginning stages still and haven’t become familiar with saying hers during sex, then just stay away from names altogether. Stick with the simple ones like baby, sweetheart, darling, honey, or beautiful. A chick is far more likely to grin if you say “Gorgeous, that was amazing” than if you suddenly have to explain who Amber is.

“I love you.” Fellas, if you have not said this phrase in a situation that is unrelated to you getting booty then remove it from your repertoire. There are a few reasons for this. First, you won’t mean it. Women use sex to connect emotionally and men use emotions to connect sexually. So by uttering this phrase you are using the last resort to get her in your bed. Second, she isn’t going to forget that you said it and you will. Our minds tend to go blank after our load goes but your woman will remember what you don’t. Then she’ll tell all her friends and she’ll expect you to say it again. And again. And again. This is one scenario where there are no ‘take backs’.

“Can you feel that?” This is like the mantra ‘if you have to ask then you don’t want to know’. If you are performing some daring sexual feat and she isn’t reacting, don’t double check to make sure that she knows what wonders you can do! Move on to something else! And for God’s sake, asking this question after you insert your penis into her vagina means that you don’t know what goes where and are in desperate need of a repeat course in anatomy.

“Let’s just get it over with.” I first heard this one while hog tied to a movie theater chair during a rendition of Sex & the City. While griping to my buddies later on about the cajones it would take to utter such a phrase, I learned that a few of them had said it — all with disastrous effects. Don’t ever imply to your girl that you have better things to do than nail her because she will make sure that you don’t get nailed for a very long time afterward.

“Are you done yet?” This follows along the same path as the last one. Men are loaded guns, always primed and ready to go. Just pull our trigger and the bullets will exit the barrel. Women do not work with the mechanisms. There are a few gears that have to turn before she is able to complete the task at hand. Urging her to finish the mission just because you did is bad manners. Don’t do it or you won’t be getting another opportunity.

“Want to try something new?” Guys! If you have not discussed the possibilities of venturing outside of the current playbook prior to going on the field, you are not allowed to come up with something new while in the huddle! It throws off the game plan and puts you straight into an off sides scenario. Trust me, there is nothing worse than getting accused of a false start when you are on the offensive line; it guarantees a cock block by the defense for the remainder of the event.

“Wait, where’s the condom?” You do not want herpasyphilitis and neither does she. Nor do you want miniature versions of yourself to materialize at some future point. So make sure you are using protection that has staying power!

It is hard enough to convince a female to drop trou and spread eagle. Making a fool of yourself by uttering a phrase that will embarrass either of you is not going to encourage her to come back for repeat performances; you are just making things more difficult. And besides, you don’t want to put your foot in your mouth because during sex it is so much more useful in other places. Enough said.