Top Ten Sounds of Sports

Sometimes I am capable of being sincere when talking about sports, despite the evidence found on this site. This is one of those times. Sports affect all our senses. Sight, obviously, is our sense most often associated with sports fandom, but sound, touch, taste and even smell are part of our sports experience. Sometimes we might not think about those other senses, but they’re there. Today, I’m focusing on the aural nature of sports, my top ten favorite sport sounds. And there’s videos accompanying a lot of these, so you can look at stuff too.

10. “Practice”

Allen Iverson’s “Practice” is easily my favorite rant of all-time. But calling this simply a classic rant is damning this work of genius with faint praise. It’s more poetry. The repetition, the cadence, all fantastic. It might even be in iambic pentameter. To this day, any mention of practice leads to a two minute riff of my own about practice. Not a game. Not a game. Practice.

9. Ole

Fight songs and chants have nothing on the Ole, which in my mind, is sung continuously throughout every single soccer game ever and for the days before and after. (If this isn’t true, don’t ruin my illusion, please. Thanks.)

8. The Pre-Game Flyover

Now, you may think this is more of a visual event, but it is the sound of the planes passing that still makes me go all Keanu. Whoa.

7. Hoarse Renditions of Your School’s Fight Song

Fight songs can get tedious. Very tedious. Especially if your band plays them after every first down. (I’m looking at you, USC.) But at the right time, after a significant amount of yelling and with the enthusiasm caused by joyful delirium, a fight song can be awesome. Or it could be Michigan’s fight song, and be awesome all the time.

6. “Gone”

This has no accompanying video, but if you’ve been at a live fantasy draft, you know the utter joy of informing another owner that their short term memory is insufficient when compared to yours.

Inept owner who is woefully unprepared: Give me Player A!

Other owners: Gone!

(Note, this becomes significantly less fun the more often you have to do it.)

5. Incoherent Gleeful Yelling of Biased Radio Announcers Whose Team Has Just Won in Glorious Fashion

It may be a bit unprofessional, but hell, if they’re the announcers for your, you’re going just as crazy. The Appalachian State clip is a pretty great example of this, but I refuse to embed it. Find it yourself.

4. “One Shining Moment”

It’s cheese, wonderful wonderful cheese. It may sound like the theme to some 80s sitcom, but I dare you to listen to this song and not feel fantastic. In fact, next time you accomplish something at all significant, start moving in slow motion and start the song.

3. The Sound of a Golf Ball Going into the Cup

This is why I don’t believe in gimmes. I worked so hard, with much difficulty, so that I could put this little ball into this little cup. I want to hear that satisfying sound: that’s why they add it to Golden Tee.

2. The Voice of John Facenda

Sit back, enjoy. I got a CD of music from NFL Films, and in between each track there’s a little monologue from the man himself. It makes everything epic. There’s a reason they called him the Voice of God.

1. Swish

Swish! The onomatopoeia of perfect success. It’s a soothing sound of triumph. Say it with me: swish. Now do that hand-cock thing. Swish. Damn straight. Count it.