Uncover a Life You’ll Love

My most recent attempt at purifying my mind (and yes, I have been successful since my recent stumble–no caffeine for me) really made me think.  What is it that makes me happy, what would make me happier, and how can I get there through my practice?  And what do I really need to sacrifice to achieve my deepest desires?

Well, I canvassed numerous wise and sensible people–people whose opinions I value and trust.  One of them–one of my favorite yoga instructors, actually–offered me a very interesting suggestion.  She recommended that at the moment prior to partaking in what I consider to be a “bad” habit–you know, like craving coffee :-)–to stop and sit for at least five minutes and write exactly what comes to my mind.  To force myself to be mindful, and put it in writing.  She promised it would be an eye-opening exercise. 

It was.  I have uncovered all sorts of emotions and feelings that were bubbling under the surface, feeding an unconscious desire to in some ways hinder myself, even punish myself.  As we all know, bad habits can be very self-destructive.  Now I am learning  they can be self-directed as well.  I’ve learned that I was using these behaviors as a distraction to prevent myself from thinking about certain topics that were either causing me pain or fostering self-doubt.

She asked me to give her a report after a few attempts at this, and I have.  Once we discussed my writings and my feelings about them, she recommended I take these to meditation and put them to work for me.  She said to use the “stillness” of meditation to think about what it is I truly want and retreat a little from the outside world–at least temporarily.  Now that I had identified at least some of the feelings that were fueling some of the less than productive thoughts and behaviors I have been struggling with, it was time, she said, to turn my thoughts inward and really focus on these feelings, and open new channels through meditation.   While I had been on a good path trying to kick the caffeine, for example, the caffeine was not the issue.  It was how I felt about myself and my behaviors that was getting in my way and disrupting my meditation, and, in effect hindering my practice a bit.  Holding me back.

For now, I am combining my journaling and my meditation every morning, and turning the entire experience into a much deeper introspection that is fueling an amazing  new perspective.  I am developing a tangible, tactile foundation for my meditation.  I am learning a little bit more about myself each day, tracking my emotions, taking it all into my morning practice with me, and working through my emotions in a very healthful and productive way.  It has been transformative for me.  It is showing me the life I really aspire to, deep down, beneath the surface and helping me to construct it–in the present.  I have been doing this for about a week now–since I fell to the “Dragon.”  I had felt so weak about giving in to a lousy cup of coffee last week.  But now, I have to say, that cup of coffee and that moment of weakness may have changed my perspective for good.

I recommend this method to everyone.  At our greatest moments of weakness and triumph we often just experience the feelings associated with each of these emotions–not a bad thing.  But if we can manage to capture our feelings at these pivotal moments and grow from them,  we can turn the page, literally, and uncover a much greater awareness.  A mindfulness that only these experiences can help yield. 

I urge all of you to give this a try–it really will help you understand yourselves and your purpose.  And it will lead you much closer to a life you’ll love.

Peace.