Vicki Guerrero vs. the WWE Board of Directors

Seven wrestlers had a part in last week’s Smackdown Main Event battle royal ending with Edge securing his Judgment Day PPV title shot against The Undertaker. How many people would be participating in this week’s Smackdown Main Event? Two, three, four? How about another lucky seven!

Six persons including wheelchair-bound Vicki Guerrero vs. The Undertaker. The announcement coming from SmackDown Assistant GM Theodore Long who went behind Vicki Guerrero’s back straight to the WWE Board of Directors. What must that board room look like? We’re thinking it’s bound by a steel cage, cedar wood desk in the middle surrounded by folding chairs. Just in case. No one allowed to leave until a decision is made. Disagreements settled the old fashioned way.

In Vicki Guerrero’s case the Board’s decision was simple. She needs discipline. And that discipline need not involve Edge, champagne flutes, wood headboards, or Reddi Whip. The Board’s edict dictates she “either compete in (her) first ever wrestling match tonight or be removed as SmackDown GM.” She promptly fires the messenger, Teddy Long, only he says “You can’t, because I quit!” Technically she was first so the firing takes precedent but whose counting. His real response comes a few seconds later when he gleefully announces her opponent: it’s THE UNDERRRRRTAAAAAKER!

She can’t refuse to fight The Undertaker but she can and does change the rules. She tells us – while standing in front of a Georgia O’Keefe print (no symbolism there) – that the Main Event is now her six vs. The Undertaker’s one. Given her wheelchair-bound status Vicki still has nowhere to run but nevertheless has a few more places to hide.

We can’t believe how excited we are to see a presumably crippled woman get beat up by a presumably undead behemoth. Oh, it is so on.

Part Two of the May 16 SmackDown recap appears here.

Picture Source: Newscom.com