Vick’s Judge is Dog-Friendly, Gambler-Unfriendly

Chances are Michael Vick isn’t throwing a Christmas party on December 9th, the eve of his court date.

How can we be so sure? Well, courtesy of a story sent to us by devoted reader Caesar, we picked up a few tidbits on one Henry E. Hudson. Hudson is the federal district court judge who decides how many days Vick will pass time in the clink singing “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot” (mixing it up with “Tom Dooley,” obviously). 

Vick pled guilty to dogfighting conspiracy charges and played host to the sick excuse for a “sport” for six years. The following Judge Hudson highlights make it a likely bet—yes, that hokey pun was intended—that Vick’s holiday cheer will be kept to a minimum:

• His first highly publicized case as a young prosecutor was the prosecution of a—wait for it—dog abuse case. 
• He’s tough on gambling: so tough that he launched a large-scale investigation of a sketchy bingo operation. (Fear not; no little old ladies or church suppers were adversely affected).
• He’s noted for meting out sentences that fall short of kumbayah and hugging. Check out this ESPN article for more details.

And, in what we imagine is a Daily Double shoo-in that will some day take the form, ”I’ll take Poor Choice of Words for $600, Alex,” Hudson pal U.S. Rep. Tom Davis said the following:

He is a bulldog. He is not a warm puppy. Whatever Henry does, he will be criticized. But I know that what he does will be the right result. He will have the right answer.

This just in: Santa made his list, checked it twice, and Michael Vick is definitely on there for being naughty. Given Hudson’s anticipated stance, we’re guessing a lump of coal for the former Atlanta Falcons QB would be aiming high. (That pun reflects another uh-oh for Vick—testing positive for marijuana in a Hudson-ordered drug test).

Fingers crossed that Judge Hudson will give Vick a very Grinch-y present . . . minus the gift receipt, of course.

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