Vince and Martina Pay the Piper

The good news about landing on Santa’s Naughty list during the first week of January is that you have many months to redeem yourself.  Both Patriots nose tackle Vince Wilfork and tennis player Martina Hingis thus have plenty of time to rescue kittens, plant trees, help little old ladies cross the street and whatever other behavior lands you on the Nice list. (Or just pay off the elves, which is what we do every year).

The bad news about being tagged Naughty are the non-Christmas consequences.

Take Vince Wilfork. While we likened his eye-poking incident in last week’s Patriots-Giants game to a send-up of the Three Stooges, NFL officials failed to appreciate the Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk factor: Wilfork was assessed a $15,000 fine for unsportsmanlike conduct.

Then we have Martina Hingis. A couple months back, we wrote about Martina Hingis’ retirement following allegations that she tested positive for coke (with a little “c”) during Wimbledon in 2007. Now, the International Tennis Federation reports that due to the uh-oh findings of an independent anti-doping tribunal, Hingis is banned from the sport for two years. (Be sure to check out Erica Beck’s take over at Racquets & Balls). The ban is retroactive and Hingis has to forfeit $129,481 in prize money.

This leaves us with two questions for the ITF, reminiscent of “If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, does it make a sound?”: If a player has already announced her retirement, does a ban have any substance? Or does it just open the door to puns on the word “substance”? 

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