V.P. Debate Draws Ratings Like NASCAR
Most Voters Watched In Hopes of Seeing Spectacular Crash; Viewers Hoping Palin Would Fully Pronounce Word Ending In ‘I-N-G’ Also Disappointed
If you were watchin’ the debate and hopin’ that Sarah Palin would be makin’ a huge mistake or would be puttin’ the final ‘g’ on the end of a word, you were sorely disappointed Thursday night.
The Republican nominee, who had been largely unable to string together a coherent thought in interviews leadin’ up to the debate, managed to avoid committin’ any serious verbal gaffes during the evenin’s proceedin’s.
The debate did raise questions, however, about whether background investigators have been thorough enough in their examinations of John McCain’s choice for the number two slot since it is quite possible that the governor’s real name is Sarah Paling and investigators have been checkin’ up on the wrong person based on the governor’s habit of not pronouncing the final consonant on any word endin’ in “-ing.”
Political pundits praised the work done by debate coaches who worked with Palin to get her ready for the contest with Joe Biden.
“She was obviously well-prepped on the various issues,” said political correspondent and speech therapist Orotund Vowel. “But it now appears highly unlikely that, even in the event of a two-term McCain presidency, we’ll ever hear the governor pronounce “you” correctly, either. But, ya never know.”
The United Federation of English teachers has formally endorsed the Obama-Biden ticket due to increased concerns that a whole generation of students will be confused about the use of gerunds and won’t understand Sesame Street episodes brought to you by the letter “G.”
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Member of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood: “I tell ya, Americans are cravin’ the straight talk I’m givin’ ya…”
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