VP Debate Ratings Similar To NASCAR
Most Viewers Watched In Hopes of Seeing Spectacular Crash Or In Vain Hope of Palin Fully Pronounce Word Ending In ‘I-N-G’
If you were watchin’ the debate and hopin’ that Sarah Palin would be makin’ a huge mistake or puttin’ the final ‘g’ on the end of a word, you were sorely disappointed Thursday night.
The Republican nominee, who had been largely unable to string together a coherent thought in interviews leadin’ up to the debate, managed to avoid committin’ any serious verbal gaffes during the evenin’s proceedin’s.
The debate did raise questions, however, about whether background investigators have been thorough enough in their examinations of John McCain’s choice for the number two slot since it is quite possible that the governor’s real name is Sarah Paling and investigators have been checkin’ up on the wrong person based on the governor’s habit of not pronouncing the final consonant on any word endin’ in “-ing.”
Political pundits praised the work done by debate coaches who worked with Palin to get her ready for the contest with Joe Biden.
“She was obviously well-prepped on the various issues,” said political correspondent and speech therapist Orotund Vowel. “It’s unlikely that, even in the event of a two-term McCain presidency, we’ll ever hear the governor pronounce “you” correctly, either. But, ya never know.”
Given the recent surge in Tina Fey glasses sales, English teachers worry about the possibility of a whole generation of students who will be confused about the use of gerunds and who won’t understand Sesame Street episodes brought to you by the letter “G.”
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