White House To Announce New CAFE Standards
– New Law Will Mandate Size of Cups, Condition of Couches and Number of Piercings Employees Can Have –
In the latest environmental news, Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner announced that the Administration will be releasing the latest CAFE standards aimed at limiting the number of coffee joints littering the nation’s cities and towns.
The new standards are necessary, says Geithner, because consumers are confused with the different sizing of coffee cups throughout the country.
“Consumers deserve to know that an X-Large coffee in Omaha, Nebraska is the same as an X-Large coffee in New York City,” said the Treasury Secretary who will be implementing the new regulations because he oversees everything in the economy now.
When reminded that the CAFE standards refer to fuel economy on cars, Geithner responded, “Um, well … okay, then we’ll just micromanage both of those things.”
The auto industry is anxiously awaiting the announcement of the new Federal fuel standards which are expected to mandate the first increase in improved gas mileage for cars in over seven years.
President Obama has maintained that new, higher average miles-per-gallon fuel numbers will help reduce our dependence on foreign oil, make the nation more secure and assure that Chrysler will remain in bankruptcy for another 25 years.
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New cars look to balance cost and fuel efficiency. Safety at high speeds remains a problem…
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Image: drcorneilus on Flickr
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