Will the Dolphins Pick Kristi Yamaguchi Over Jason Taylor?

Former figure skaters are certainly making their mark on the pop culture scene this week. First we had memoir-hawking Tonya Harding, whose 15 minutes of fame was over so long ago they used a sundial to keep track of it. And then we had Kristi Yamaguchi as the Dancing With the Stars winner (and Ex-Miami Dolphin Jason Taylor as the loser).

But as Frank Coffey and the Goodfellas at eTrueSports discovered, it doesn’t end there:

“A Double Lutz in a runback?” says Parcells. “That’s got TD written all over it.”

Miami – “We have a zero tolerance policy for losers,” said Bill Parcells, Miami Dolphins vp of football operations, in announcing that Jason Taylor, a second place finisher on Dancing With The Stars, would not return to the Dolphins.

Then came a bigger bombshell. Miami has signed Kristi Yamaguchi, Dancing’s first place winner, to run back punts and kickoffs. If she makes the opening day roster, Yamaguchi will be the first female Olympic figure skater to play in a regular season NFL game.

“This league has never seen a double lutz in a runback,” said Parcells, “its gonna put Kristi in the end zone a lot.”

In 2000 Tonya Harding appeared in two pre-season games as a linebacker for the Oakland Raiders, before failing a mandatory IQ test.

A bitter Taylor accused Bill Parcells of letting personal “preferences” influence his football decisions. “He spends a lot of time hanging around skating rinks, that’s all I’m gonna say,” said Taylor.

In the past, Parcells has been linked with former Olympians Peggy Fleming and, more recently, Nancy Kerrigan, who he once signed to a ten-day contract as a wide receiver during his tenure as New England Patriot coach and general manager.

“Kristi’s tough but sweet too,” said an unconcerned Parcells, “Jason Taylor is neither.”

About Kerrigan, Parcells said: “It turned out Nance couldn’t catch, but she was a fun girl to be around.”