Fun Friday – I am a Wimp About the Unknown (a networking horror story)

Our delightful Channel Editor (CE) for the b5media Business Channel (and author of the taxgirl blog) gave us all this quote for our Fun Friday posts.

"Running is a big question mark that’s there each and every day. It asks you, ‘Are you going to be a wimp or are you going to be strong today?’" – Peter Maher

What makes me a big wimp? The unknown.

Grab your flannel blankets and hot cocoa, because I’m going to tell you a networking horror story…..

I met a wonderful woman at a networking event. Very bohemian, rocking a Flip video camera and owning the room. She was funny, smart, beautiful, and a business owner. Seriously, what’s not to like? We bonded (because as you know by now I am a bonding machine) and exchanged numbers.

We talked a few times, she was very open and fun to talk to, and at one point she introduced me to another person that gave me a sweet discount on my new rhinestone cat-eye glasses.

I would give her marketing advice and at one point we talked about me writing some content for her website, but it would be in exchange for a byline to promote my business services (at that time my business services were all marketing related.) I had no problem doling out the free advice because she’d gotten me the swank deal on the glasses. In my mind that was a form of barter.

Then it got weird.

She started talking about her children, her family, her very personal drama. Whatever her boundaries might have been, she was crossing mine left and right. I was not comfortable being a confidant. Soon I realized the only two things we were talking about was her life and her business needs and I was answering her questions and consulting for free. I did this because she told me how destitute she was, how poor, how she was barely eating because she could not afford food.

I was in a fix!

Sadly, because I am a wimp sometimes, I stopped answering her calls for two weeks. I needed a break from the drama, but felt guilty about the whole thing, but my need to not talk to her was reinforced by her calling me twice or even three times a day during this two week interval. My closest friends don’t do that to me, because they know better, it reminded me I did not know this person well enough to be the one she shares these things with. When I did call her back, she did not answer. I got scared. I found out through a mutual friend that she was on a vacation in LA to recharge.

Um, I don’t know about you but when I’m destitute and getting free help from someone because I can’t afford to pay them or pay for food, I don’t go on vacations. Maybe it’s just me. That’s when I went from feeling bad about her situation and guilty for not talking to her to angry for being played. Not intentionally, I’m sure she didn’t mean to play  me for a total fool, but that is what happened.

Next time she called me I answered and she yelled at me. (I am not kidding) She said she knew I was ok because I was talking to our mutual friend and not her and why wasn’t I returning her calls. Then the line dropped or she hung up on me. I tried calling her back, but couldn’t get through.

Then we talked a little through facebook’s new online IM program but we were never on at the same time. Most recently she called me and I still have not listened to the message. I don’t know what it’s going to say, and I’m wimping out about it.

The day after she left that voicemail message, I received a notification she had put her cell number and a request to call her on my Facebook Wall! When my e-mail address is right there on my Facebook profile page. The thing is, she never says what she wants. Not in her messages and not in her facebook wall post. Just to call her.

I am too much of a wimp to step into that. She’s a nice person. I like her. But…we just haven’t known each other long enough for me to give her work for free or for me to listen to her life drama. After the yelling on the phone incident I’m afraid to even talk to her.

So I guess I have to say I am strong and pumped when I know the variables of a networking relationship…but I am a wimp when I do not know what lies around the bend.