Yeah, Like Red Sox Fans Needed Help Raising Insufferable Pricks

Finally, the combination of brainwashing and absentee parenting for the sports obsessed has some star power. Team Baby Entertainment, which produces DVD’s to teach young children to be obsessed with a certain sports team — colors too, it also teaches colors — or sports league, has pegged Ben Affleck to do some voice over work for their Red Sox Baby release. This will be, invariably, his best selling DVD in years.

But there is some good news for Sox fans. Sure, your baby will have to listen to Ben Affleck during its formative years — that’s a fate even Ben Affleck’s child doesn’t deserve — and that’s unfortunate, but Yankees babies have it just as bad, George Steinbrenner does the voice-over for them. I’m assuming they’re actually going to use Larry David as the Boss, but either way, those children aren’t going to grow up right.