Nine Baseball Predictions for 2007
December 20, 2006 by Geoff Young
Filed under Humor
Darren Rowse is conducting another of his group writing projects. These are always a fun way to connect with folks who might not otherwise be aware of us. Since we talk about baseball around here, and there are nine players in a baseball lineup, I present nine predictions for 2007. Some of these are serious, others not so much; it’s left as an exercise for the reader to decide which are which. 
- Barry Bonds will fail to make it through the season healthy and will finish his career with 754 home runs, one shy of Hank Aaron’s all-time mark, proving yet again that karma is much more than just a word I don’t really understand.
- Albert Pujols will hit 58 home runs in 2007, matching Ryan Howard’s total from 2006. The average “stare time” after each homer will be 23.4 seconds before commencing the obligatory trot around the bases. Pujols will note that every pitcher against whom he failed to homer wasn’t that good. He will be named unanimous MVP of the National League and call out writers who had the nerve to list anyone second.
- Daisuke Matsuzaka will become addicted to My Name Is Earl. This won’t keep him from excelling in Boston, but it will lead to some awkward interview moments.
- Lou Piniella, in his new gig as manager for the Chicago Cubs, will set the new standard for managerial tirades by pulling all three bases from the ground simultaneously and hurling them onto Waveland Avenue. He will then disappear in a blinding flash of light. Rumors of a man who looks like Piniella appearing in Papua New Guinea at the same time will be neither proven nor disproven.
- The Kansas City Royals, led by $55 million man Gil Meche, will win 67 games, their highest total since 2003.
- Manny Ramirez will be involved in a trade. He will swap his trademark cornrows for a sweet ‘fro.
- No teams from New York, Chicago, Boston, or Los Angeles will participate in the World Series. Again. Network executives will freak out because of this. Again.
- Mark McGwire will not be elected to the Hall of Fame. In a joint statement, voters will cite the fact that “he didn’t want to talk about the past and isn’t really doing anything now” as the reason.
- Baseball will continue to be the greatest sport on this planet, and any others where it may be played.
Those are my predictions. What are yours?
Related posts:
- Maybe Bonds Should Change His Name to ‘Bartleby’
- My Three Players
- The Pujols Guide to Tigers Pitchers
- 2006 MVP Awards — Better Late Than Never
- Red Sox “Win” Right to Woo Matsuzaka
Interesting predictions indeed. I love your blog layout, so nice and clean
. Have a wonderful holiday!
Jim Leyritz, Benito Santiago and Jesse Orosco will all join the Giants sometime this year.
Solid. Is Deivi Cruz still playing? Eric Owens?
Now that Klesko is in Frisco, can Kerry Robinson be far behind?
I predict Klesko will be the comeback player of the year if he gets 400 ABs.
No mention of the Twinkies?
I think The Twins, who have the best hitter, MVP, and Cy Young, will continue to fly under the radar until the second half of the season. Only next year, they’ll wait till the world series to choke.
Baseball had always been my fav game.Though i dont know about the persons you taled about but i see a good analysis there.Thx for sharing the info
I also got entry in darrens project.
http://technospot.net/blogs/index.php/2006/12/19/predicting-the-evolution-of-techspot-insideout/
And i am feeding your blog.There wont be another chance to meet so many bloggers
Nick, I happen to think the Twins are one of the better run organizations in MLB. You may be right about them getting to the World Series next year, but I’m not so sure they’ll choke. That is potentially a very strong team.
The San Diego Padres will win the World Series.
That would be nice. They certainly are due…
Pads vs. Twins. No one would watch except for us.