When Will Torres Be Loved?

In the “you have to read it to believe it” department comes this article on Pittsburgh Pirates right-hander Salomon Torres. Seems he — no, you know what, I’m just going to let the man speak for himself:

I’ve given everything I have to the team, to the city of Pittsburgh, and I would like nothing more than to be part of a championship there.

Last championship? 1979. Last winning record? 1992.

On his current elbow injury:

I don’t have a problem with the diagnosis or the treatments. But they told me it would be up to me to tell them when I felt good enough to come back. Now, all of a sudden, I hear about another month. I feel like I’m being blackballed from the team.

And the 35-year-old journeyman reliever saves his best for last:

I’m just tired of being treated like this. I’m tired of the lies. I gave this team everything. I bought a house in Pittsburgh to be part of the city. But, if you’re going to lie to me, trade me.

The article goes onto note that Torres is “making $2.7 million this season and will make $3.2 million next year.” So, I say to the Pirates: please, please, lie to me. For $5.9 million, I’ll listen to anything you want to tell me, no questions asked. Deal?

Right. Well, it was worth a shot…