So, so very true. I just ignored my fancy pants FPS titles for an hour and a half of frantic pizza-making action at Papa’s Pizzeria. You just. Can’t. Stop.

Most of us hate airports enough as they are. You’re either running like mad, or waiting for hours, often beside people who drool, snore, smack when they eat, or generally smell horrendous. Imagine, if you will, taking your average, awful airport and releasing a dose of T-virus. Now you’re stuck there, with the same drooly, smelly people, and a deadly virus that quickly turns infected folks into zombie-like killers.

That’s essentially the story behind Resident Evil: Degeneration, where it’s been 7 years since the destruction of Raccoon City, and things appeared to be getting back to normal. The latest trailer for the CGI animated fright fest (a joint project of Capcom and Sony Pictures Entertainment) from Comic-Con suggests that things are far from normal, in fact, things are about to go very very bad.

Much like the Final Fantasy CGI wonder that was released way back in 2001, RE: Degen boasts technically impressive graphics, a built in fan base, and the branding benefit of already having one mainstream movie under its belt (starring Milla Jovovich in 2002) that didn’t get completely tarred by the critics.

What do you think? Interesting? Is the RE thing getting old? Do you miss Milla Jovovich as much as I do?

The new teaser trailer for Tomb Raider Underworld is out and about on the intarwebs, and I naturally ran right over to watch it, thinking that it would be the most marvelous thing since sliced bread. Here it is, for you to make your own judgment call:

What’d you think? Complete with phallic octopii tentacles, booty-baring bathing suits, and claims of a totally new gaming experience, though the teaser trailer didn’t really show you much beyond the typical Lara Croft moves, “epic” environments all over the world (you mean like the other Croft chronicles?), world-endangering artifacts (really? again?) and other things that are supposed to be awesome but kind of have me yawning. And it truly pains me to admit it because I’m about as big a Lara fan as you can get without getting all babbly and drooling at press signings.

There better be something absolutely phenomenal about this game that this trailer just ain’t hinting at, or I might be forced to be mighty cranky and swear of the babe-liciousness of Croft manor for good.

I don’t know whether to say that we all should have seen this coming, or to ask who in the heck in their right mind saw this coming. Guinness World Records and the video game industry have been such lovey-dovey bedfellows lately, all stemming from the release of the Guinness Book of World Records: Gamers Edition back in February.

Well now it looks like the tables are being turned and the video game industry is hooking into the Guinness franchise in the form of a Wii/DS game from Warner Bros. It might not be the craziest idea though, when you sit down and really think of it. All the zany records that are in the book, available for competition and play in a series of short stunts and challenges that sees you compete against others around the world for records.

Features

• With 40 different stunts based on real Guinness World Records, the whole family or a group of friends have a shot at becoming a record breaker
• Compete online with other challengers from around the world to be the ‘Virtual Guinness World Record Holder’
• Get listed in the actual Guinness World Records archives by earning the highest worldwide score on any stunt
• Travel the world to compete in crazy record-breaking stunts such as - Fastest Time to Crush Watermelons With Your Head, Fastest Time to Eat a Plane, Fastest Time to Shear a Sheep, and many more
• As you explore the globe, stand on specific hot-spots to reveal interesting facts about records that have been broken in that location
• Personalize your quest with your own customizable avatar
• Collect fact cards and record breaking certificates on the campaign to become a record breaker
• Earn GWR Coins by performing well in record attempts and use them to buy items from the GWR Supplies Shop to gain access to more events

Due to get your competitive juices flowing sometime this fall.

MMO developer Aeria Games is offering one lucky Pi Story player the chance to be the creator of the official Pi Story MySpace page and also to take home an iPod Shuffle if you can create the most “decorative and entertaining” page for the game.

Described as a “2D Anime Casual MMORPG”, Pi Story centres around a Tower of Babel-esque story line that has the gods’ apostles recruit you into trying to piece back together “Pi”, the great egg and origin of us all. Expansion, greed, and bickering led to the egg shattering and the dispersal of the human race. It’s up to you to gather the pieces and return the world to a period of harmony.

So, if you think you’ve got what it takes, here are the rules:

1. Create a temporary Pi Story MySpace
2. Players will need to send their code to a Game Master after completion
3. All entries will be property of Aeria Games
4. Entries must be received no later than 12 p.m. PDT 7/21/08
5. Players will vote for a winner on the most artistic and decorative MySpace Page

First prize gets you the Shuffle and 2000 Aeria Points, second gets you 2000 Aeria Points, and third nabs you 1000 Aeria Points.

Image Courtesy of Aeria Games & Entertainment Inc.

For all those who choose to look at video games like their the devil incarnate, they really are missing out on what might be more most powerful tool for reaching the youngsters of this generation. Not everyone is missing the boat mind you, as this great ad from TobaccoFreeFlorida.com demonstrates. They’ve taken a very typical FPS environment and an uber-skilled protagonist and played out an action sequence where the hero blows away every challenge thrown his way with confidence and little effort. Following his impressive victory, he lights up a self-congratulatory cigarette, coughs, and then promptly falls over dead while enemy robots resume patrols.

Fantastic!

Via | Video Game Media Watch

Oh please don’t let this be a cruel rumour…please, please, please!

Word on the street is that Oregon Trail might be making a comeback, and a fancy one at that. Publisher Barometer Games has apparently been talking to Infinity Ward to ink a deal for the development of a new Oregon Trail, using the Call of Duty 4 engine. Said the Infinity Ward receptionist when badgered by the Sarcastic Gamer:

“Infnity Ward will be using the Call of Duty 4 Engine to take gamers back to the age of covered wagons and hostile natives. Rather than limit the experience to an educational foundation, Oregon Trail: Fight to Survive will challenge players to cross a 1:1 scale replica of the United States, while combating hostile indians who will absorb realistic damage, extreme conditions, and realistic diarrhea. While no release date for this game has been projected, we anticipate completion of this title by Q2 2009.”

Realistic diarrhea eh? Sign me up! I’m excited to see what the good old O.T. will look like on the COD4 engine, and it will be surreal to see a much-loved educational game from our childhood updated from a pixellated mass of barely recognizable shapes to a (hopefully) stunning set of realistic imagery.

Image from: icanhascheeseburger.com

Nassau County police had a busy night on Tuesday reigning in what are being described as “video game inspired crimes”. Six youths went on a bit of a spree, allegedly mugging a man outside of a super market, attempting a car-jacking, and damaging vehicles with a variety of weapons, including a crowbar, a bat, and a broomstick. The mugging began the string of violent behaviour, as a man waiting for the bus at the end of his night shift was kicked, punched, and beaten severely before the gang made off with a small amount of cash and a cell phone. They then blocked a road, menacing a BMW driver with their makeshift weapons and made for a car-jacking…they got some cigarettes and that was about it, before the woman drove off and called police. The driver of a van was also victim to the pointless rampage, having his van bashed with a bat. Police suspect there might be other, unreported incidents. All were rounded up and charged as adults (the majority with first degree robbery) on Thursday. Two of the teens also have prior records, suggesting that this isn’t necessarily a case of the pure and innocent suddenly becoming corrupted by GTA.

I have never, despite growing up through decades of blood and gore, thought to emulate what I saw on screen. My grasp of right/wrong and reality made even the thought sound incredibly stupid. I hardly think that I was so special and mature to be alone in that thinking. So what about these kids in particular makes them unable to separate the two? I know this latest crime spree is going to ignite another round of anti-video game sentiment, but I’d like to look at it from another perspective…rather than actually thinking that these kids are copying Niko’s antics in the game, do these people ever think that they’ve given naughty kids a very, very convenient path to explain, rationalize, and excuse their behaviour? With all the media fervour, there ain’t a gamer out there that isn’t aware of the controversy, and kids are a heckuva lot smarter than a lot of adults give them credit for. Do something illegal and get caught? Or want to rebel and do something illegal. Blame it on a video game in order to generate some righteous indignation, through attention off of you and what you’ve done, and sit back to watch the circus spin. It’s a very easy out, and though you’re still legally responsible for your actions, you’ve just created a defense and a whole new lawsuit of your own to start. Awesome.

The only thing that they don’t really take into account is the damage they’re doing to the reputation of the gaming industry, and the hard-working people that create this entertainment for us.

As an aside, I think the whole think is actually the Red Hot Chilli Peppers fault..clearly. Check out the Newsday link below to see what I mean.

Newsday Via Gamespot

Electronic Arts and Crytek only announced the development of Crysis Warhead at the beginning of this month, and chances are we’re a year or two out from seeing it on the shelves, but they’re already trying to build some media hype by quickly releasing a teaser trailer that shows some game play action.

It looks, at the very least….explosive. I wonder if they’ve also ratched up the system requirements for latest PCs, making the game just as impossibly demanding as its predecessor.

There’s a demo over at Greenhouse that I really think you should have a look at if you’re looking for something a little bit different than the big blockbusters on the shelves. Bearing the weighty name of On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness, Episode One you can bet that it features big and weighty topics like three storey fruit-humping robots, teriyaki-filled fire hydrants, and

The game, the brainchild of the twisted minds behind the Penny Arcade comic empire, brought to life by the equally mad developers at Hothead Games is:

Based on the popular web comic …this an episodic RPG-Adventure game set in the deranged 1920s universe of New Arcadia.

I gave it the old college try, skeptical that a pair so deeply in tune with the guts of the industry could find something fresh to present to their fans, but I was pleasantly surprised. The narrative base to the whole affair, styled in the well-known, well-loved irreverent banter of Gabe and Tycho keep the game lively and well, pretty damn funny to boot. The interface and ease of play was combined with familiar elements like Final Fantasy style battles and a few twists and turns, like the Mortal Kombat-esque combos required to execute special moves. From the demo it looks like a wild ride, and with a Mature rating, you can bet that typical Penny Arcade lashings are due for an appearance. Thoroughly enjoyable, stylistically refreshing, and totally engaging.

Available for almost any operating system you could ask for, this is fun fun for everyone. And frankly, at $19.95 for a full version, digital download game…the price is more than right.