Brian Kendrick def. Stevie Richards
The Great Khali def. Jeff Hardy
Maria def. Victoria
Edge and the wedding planner Alicia Fox blissfully talk

1. In my ECW recap I said that the majority of people around me didn’t appreciate my cheers. That said, my “Give Michael Jackson back his jacket” taunt towards Brian Kendrick was greeted with lots of laughter.

2. I didn’t rest on my laurels. My next offering was “How did you get Suge Knight to be your manager?” which wasn’t received so warmly. Mrs. JandG added, “And why is he dressed like Seal?” More silence. After Ezekial busts Stevie Richards up (post The Kendrick pin) I wonder aloud “Why don’t they just let Suge wrestle? He killed Tupac, you know?” Crickets. “And Biggie too!” Mrs. JandG quietly says “Ok, now please be quiet, I don’t want you to be offed too. He’s got spies. Even in the upper deck at the Giant Center. I’m serious.”

3. The Great Khali’s music comes on and my taunting reaches absurd levels. Only my taunts are directed at referee Charles Robinson and no one seems to understand. Taunts like “Don’t get your skull crushed again blondie!” and “You can’t run away this time single dad.” Mrs. JandG turned to me and wondered, “What (in blazes) are you talking about?”

4. Jeff Hardy isn’t looking bad against his competitor who, by the way, is twice his size. But of course there is no way he can win since Khali is HHH’s SummerSlam opponent. In fact, Hardy hits a Whisper in the Wind and then a Swanton Bomb but before he can pin the Punjabi peripatetic MVP interrupts things. Khali lifts Hardy into the ring by his skull. Charles Robinson is shaking with fear. Khali puts Hardy into a Facial Vice Grip and Robinson, calling on his own past traumas, ends the match.

Hardy didn’t want it to end. He could’ve come back. Robinson needs to let go of his past and his fears.

5. Hardy doesn’t look good. Not one bit. Mrs. JandG offers “Jeff could really use a Chocolate Spa.” Good thing he’s in Hershey.

6. FYI, these WWE Divas matches aren’t nearly as interesting when you’re in the upper deck. On TV, they are a little better. Mick Foley makes a Sound of Music reference in regards to Maria. Tori Amos last segment, Julie Andrews and American musicals this time? Is there something you need to tell us Mick?

7. Edge and Alicia Fox a/k/a the wedding planner discuss her SmackDown ticket situation. Edge says “I got you that ticket so you’d be up close and personal to watch the Cutting Edge” but, he intonates, I didn’t want you backstage with me causing problems. At this point I yell, “There are empty seats for you up here Alicia! Come on up. I won’t deny you!” Crickets. Crickets.

Post from: EveryJoe

8/1/08 WWE SmackDown: We Were There Again Part Two

Vladimir Kozlov def. Stevie Richards
The Great Khali wins a Battle Royale against Mr. Kennedy, M.V.P., Umaga, Jeff Hardy, and Big Show

Segment Four
Edge is trying to keep things going with Alicia Fox a/k/a the Wedding Planner. But Chavo Guerrero’s bodyguard Bam Neely is lurking in the corridor listening to their conversation. He’s not going to snitch on another man, is he? No self-respecting man would ever do that but Neely does. So sad.

Stevie Richards comes out to be the next Vladimir Kozlov’s latest cannon fodder. When will Kozlov fight someone good? When will he ever get a pay-per-view gig? How many times must we watch him destroy his opponent. To be fair, Richards actually looks good until Kozlov hits a head butt to the sternum and knocks out the poor Philadelphia native. WWE bookers, please give Kozlov a feud. His domination has gone on long enough.

Segment Five
The Main Event has come early. It’s a Battle Royale with the winner to face HHH at SummerSlam. The competitors: Mr. Kennedy, the Great Khali, Umaga, Jeff Hardy, M.V.P., and Big Show. Regardless of the winner we are going to see someone new against HHH at SummerSlam. That’s a very good thing.

I want to see Mr. Kennedy win but I don’t see him emerging from a Battle Royale. Mrs. Jabandgrapple is pulling for Jeff Hardy…duh. But we both find it hard to see how Big Show could lose a Battle Royale.

Hardy’s early focus is, understandably, on M.V.P. He knocks the Anti-Dog Whisperer out of the ring with a terrific clothesline. Good riddance M.V.P. Umaga tosses Hardy out but Jeff somehow is able to grab the top rope and stay inside. Umaga doesn’t notice as he moves onto Big Show. The World’s Biggest Athlete then flips the Samoan Bulldozer out of the ring. He follows it up with a successful dismissal of Mr. Kennedy. My pick is gone. So sad.

Now there are three left: Show, Khali, and Hardy. Hardy next move is a jump off the top rope onto Big Show. Show catches him and the high flying superstar looks to be in trouble. But against all odds he finds a way to flip Show out. He continues to capitalize on his momentum and hits a Swanton Bomb on Khali.

But it’s not to be. Khali flips Hardy over the top rope and SummerSlam just got a lot less interesting.

After the match HHH enters the stage and stares down his future opponent. They stare and stare and stare and stare and stare. Considering Khali can’t actually move we think that’s an apt preview for SummerSlam. Yaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnn.

Post from: EveryJoe

7/25 WWE SmackDown Part Two: Big Bad Battle Royale With Bad Bad Bad Ending