Finlay def. The Miz
Braden Walker def. Armando Estrada
Evan Bourne def. Nunzio
Tommy Dreamer def. Mark Henry by DQ (?)

Last week I asked ECW to give me a reason to love it. It didn’t. So really, I shouldn’t be watching. But I am because the good people at the Innovative Beverage Group sent jabandgrapple.com some of their new “anti-energy” drink: Drank. The beverage promises to “calm and relax you” with ingredients that include Melatonin, Rose Hips, and Valerian Root. My ECW hate has been so virulent as of late that I need some relaxation. I need, as the drink boasts, to “slow my roll”.

Finlay and The Miz are squaring off as I pour my first into a neat glass tumbler; I’m drinking the gently carbonated Drank on ice. Before the match I’m quietly confident that these two will step it up in their singles match. I’m not as confident about the Drank. The first sip isn’t nearly as sweet as I expect and is reminiscent of a pleasant grape soda. I fear that it is going to go down real smooth. Too smooth.

Finlay takes care of The Miz with some help from Hornswaggle and the Drank is already calming me down. I might even enjoy the Mark Henry-Tommy Dreamer main event! The first commercial break contains an advert for 5-hour energy drink talking about the evils of energy drinks. I’m one step ahead of them though. I’m not interested in energizing, I’m interested in relaxing. And Drank already has me on my way.

I’m beginning to feel sorry for Armando Estrada. It’s doubtful he’ll ever win a match. This week he’s facing someone now known as Braden Walker. I like Teddy Long’s ECW Superstar Initiative but the two we’ve seen thus far – Atlas Ortiz and now Braden Walker – are absolutely uninteresting.

One of Drank’s primary promises is that it will help you “get you lean on” without resorting to harmful cough syrup drinks. After a second glass my lean is definitely on but I’m still also desiring to flatten a few ECW superstars: Mark Henry (after he insults legend Tony Atlas) and Atlas Ortiz (after a stupid bush league segment).

The Tommy Dreamer vs. Mark Henry main event isn’t getting me too excited (or maybe it’s my imbibing). But really, I don’t think Dreamer has a chance unless Henry downs a full case of Drank. Which is possible because Henry was born in and lives within Drank’s southeastern Texas and western Louisiana distribution zone. Tonight’s ECW is also taking place in Baton Rouge, La. Is Drank available there? Yes indeed!

Evan Bourne puts away perennial loser Nunzio with a fantastic Shooting Star back flip from the top rope and not even the Drank can stop me from being excited. He must have been 20-feet in the air. Am I hallucinating? I don’t think so…

There’s like five minutes left in ECW and we’re still at commercial. Do I care? Not really. I’m on my third Drank glass and ECW has gradually become very palatable. And anyway, the less Mark Henry the better.

The clock just turned 11 p.m. and still no match. Am I anxious? Not at all. The match has begun and Dreamer’s horrid fake leather pants actually might be changing my allegiances. Then Henry goes after Colin Delaney but Tony Atlas interrupts and slams the pale dweeb himself and appears to be teaming with The World’s Strongest Man. Someone is disqualified. I’m not sure who but I’m beyond uninterested.

As far as the Drank, I’m pleasantly surprised. The buzz is mild and helpfully relaxing. I’m even going to be able to fall asleep in a strange and uncomfortable bed tonight. Bloggers need vacation too. If only I were vacationing along the Texas Gulf Coast, then I could snatch up another Drank.

Post from: EveryJoe

ECW: The Drank Edition

Hornswaggle def. Armando Estrada
Evan Bourne def. Matt Stryker
Kofi Kingston vs. Mike Knox ended when Shelton Benjamin enters ring
CM Punk def. Morrison

I don’t know why ECW gets a bad rap. This week’s show once again trumped Monday Night RAW in terms of excitement and good wrestling. Heck, it fit the same number of matches into one hour than last night’s show fit into two. FYI, I’m not counting RAW’s 12 second tag team bout as a match. It’s interesting what you can do when you’re not spending the entire show dialing a phone and giving away money.

The Hornswaggle vs. Armando Estrada match featured hilarious Looney Toons-like sequences with Estrada playing the perplexed Sylvester/Coyote/Elmer Fudd to Hornswaggle’s Tweety Bird/Roadrunner/Bugs Bunny. Hornswaggle dropped marbles, he shot super soakers, he broke cigars, and was always just out of reach from his frustrated pursuer.

Evan Bourne is lots of fun to watch with his Back flips and high flying action. Mike Knox rudely entered the ring after Bourne easily defeated Matt Stryker and put a beat down on the much smaller man. We hope Knox’s actions don’t prove a metaphor for Bourne and his life in the WWE.

The slightly larger and just as acrobatic Kofi Kingston handled Knox well and was about to pin him before Shelton Benjamin entered the ring and scrapped with his hated rival. We’d love to see both Shelton and Kingston drafted up and out of ECW on Monday. They would inject some life into RAW or SmackDown.

The night’s coup de grace was the ten-minute-plus highly technical match between CM Punk and John Morrison. These two have had a long ECW history and they clearly know each other well but this match didn’t have the feel of a tired retread (like Cena and JBL). It was terrific to watch a professionally executed extended match that wasn’t broken up by commercials and wasn’t stopped early by ring interference.

The night ended with the three ECW behemoths Kane, Big Show, and Mark Henry yelling at each other and talking tough. I had almost forgotten that Kane could talk. Even their stupid pose-prominent confrontation couldn’t spoil another great ECW episode.

Photo Source: Newscom.com

Post from: EveryJoe

ECW June 17: Looney Tunes and Good Wrestling

RESULTS
Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne def. Mike Knox and Shelton Benjamin
Veronica def. Kelly Kelly
Finlay def. Armando Estrada
Colin Delaney def. Armando Estrada
Hornswaggle def. Armando Estrada
The Miz and Morrison def. Kane and CM Punk

Vince McMahon’s announcement of the June 23 WWE Draft has taken a bit of anticipation from tonight’s ECW matches. The bookend tag team matches were fun but their feuds will surely not be maintained when a few of these stars will be drafted into other WWE brands.

For example, it’s hard for me to put any attention to the Kofi Kingston – Shelton Benjamin rivalry because both deserve and appear to be moving upward and out of the ECW. Still, they’re very good in the ring together and I thought the toss flip Benjamin landed on his feet was impressive. Wish they had had more time to face off against each other.

Kofi seems suited to fill SmackDown’s high-flying void – at least until Rey Mysterio reappears – and his goofy Jamaican stereotype angle would fit on the Friday night show. That being said I thought the opening ECW tag team match was terrific.

I really like the in-ring aerials of Evan Bourne (who last week was Matt Sydal). If he’s given a chance he could pump a lot of excitement and action into the ECW and might even get himself a tag team title belt. Below is a youtube video of their match. If you didn’t see it, judge for yourself.

Regarding the other matches, I don’t ever mind seeing WWE Diva Kelly Kelly but I’ve already tired of the Armando Estrada saga which has descended into pure comic relief. Pinned by Hornswaggle! C’mon.

The main event tag team title match was watchable but Kane’s pre-match showdown with Big Show sapped the match’s momentum and relegated it to a sideshow to the future Night of Champions event.

Post from: EveryJoe

ECW June 11: Waiting for the WWE Draft

RESULTS
Matt Hardy def. Armando Estrada
Colin Delaney def. Armando Estrada
Kane def. CM Punk

MATCH THREE
Matt Hardy vs. Armando Estrada

Estrada is no longer GM and no longer exclusively facing tiny jobber Colin Delaney. Estrada’s ripped washboard abs compare favorably to Hardy’s beer gut but his wrestling skills don’t. Hardy quickly disposes of the preening Cuban easily pinning him after a Twist of Fate. After the match Teddy Long turns the tables on the bullying Cigar chomper ordering him to face none other than Colin Delaney. Teddy’s picture is to the right. (OK, it’s not Teddy Long it’s yet another picture of Paris Hilton with a teddy bear.)

MATCH FOUR
Colin Delaney vs. Armando Estrada

Delaney rushes out to pin his already beat-down adversary. His first roll-up pin attempt fails but his second doesn’t and Estrada’s night has gone from horrible to nightmarish. If I never had to see Delaney or Estrada again I would be ecstatic. Estrada agrees to renegotiate his deal but Long isn’t having it. Armando must earn his contract a la Colin Delaney.

MATCH FIVE
CM Punk vs. Kane

This match has been ridiculously one-sided. Maybe CM Punk has imagined hitting Kane but it hasn’t happened in real life. Kane has tossed Punk, slapped Punk, punched Punk, slammed Punk, kicked Punk and dominated Punk. Now Kane has him in a vice grip submission mode with his legs crushing Punk’s torso.

Punk breaks the hold with a punch and almost sneaks in a pin but Kane viciously clotheslines him and gets him back in the scissor lock. Every time Punk looks to make strides in the match Kane swiftly closes the door. Please slam it Kane, please! A side slam and a leap from the top rope onto Punk should do the trick.

Not quite but the choke slam should suffice. It does and when it does The Miz and Morrison pounce on Kane and give him a healthy beating. I like the ending; the more hurt Kane receives the better I feel.

Photo Source: Newscom.com

Post from: EveryJoe

ECW June 4 Part Two: Armando’s Bad Night Continues

RESULTSCM Punk def. Tommy Dreamer and Chavo Guerrero and John Morrison
Shelton Benjamin def. Matt Sydal

Last week WWE’s ECW show shined brighter than both RAW and SmackDown with four good wrestling matches and no drama. Could history repeat itself? Not likely, as the story lines have already begun with Teddy Long (see picture on right. OK it’s Paris Hilton but she is holding a teddy bear) wresting ECW GM controls from Armando Estrada. It had seemed like Armando was making a permanent move to the ring.

MATCH ONE
Fatal Four-Way Match
CM Punk vs. Tommy Dreamer vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. John Morrison
Winner gets a match versus Kane in a non-title match.

Didn’t we just see this bout at One Night Stand? Only this time there’s no Big Show, no Shawne Merriman, and surely no blood.

The match ends with a flurry of good signature moves from all competitors but it’s a Go To Sleep from CM Punk on Chavo that ensures the straight-edged warrior a spot in tonight’s ECW Main Event. Guerrero is getting a surprising barrage of hatred from the crowd for his role in the La Familia saga.

MATCH TWO
Shelton Benjamin vs. Matt Sydal

The former Wrestling Society X cast member and Ring of Honor high-flying talent Matt Sydal makes a surprisingly entertaining debut. He doesn’t win but he lands some cool looking acrobatic jumps before Benjamin’s strength overcomes the little guy.

The match ends with Benjamin tossing Sydal into Kofi Kingston who is working as a guest commentator. For the second week in a row Kingston and Benjamin brawl uncontrollably after one another’s match. This feud is beginning to hold my interest.

Photo Source: Newscom.com

Post from: EveryJoe

ECW June 4 Part One: Teddy Long is Back

Image details: MTV Spring Break In Cancun served by picapp.com

I’ll admit it. I liked last night’s ECW. Three of the four matches featured some good wrestling. The storylines were kept to a minimum and we just got to see some fun grappling.

Because of my love for all things Real World/Road Rules Challenge I enjoy The Miz and want to see him succeed. When he says “I’m I competitor” I know it to be true because I’ve seen him beat Abram in the Gauntlet and I’ve seen him kick ass in the Battle of the Seasons. So when I hear him booed and nearly decapitated by Kane I’m cheering for him but I’m also happy because he’s becoming a much better wrestler. Maybe this Kane feud could bring The Miz a single’s title.

Thought Kofi Kingston’s loss to Shelton Benjamin was overdue. I like Kingston as a wrestler but the undefeated thing was getting a little old. Now that Kofi and the Gold Standard have fought three times I’m wondering if their feud will continue or if they’ll move on to bigger and better things. I would love for the WWE branding thing to officially end with these two high flyers participating more in RAW and Smackdown.

The male-female tag team match was interesting only in the unlikely Kelly Kelly – Colin Delaney romance that seems to be brewing. Colin is a very lucky man.

I don’t really get the Big Show’s return to ECW except as a further destruction of the strict branding. Big Show looked fine and I wonder what the real reason was behind his Judgment Day match cancellation. I’d love to know so if you’ve heard anything just comment below!

Post from: EveryJoe

ECW Results: A Few Good Matches

Tonight’s ECW gets off to a surprisingly good start with CM Punk facing The Miz. We immediately think mismatch; The Miz is a good tag team partner but there’s no way he can defeat Mr. Money in the Bank one-on-one. CM Punk is the #4 ranked wrestler in the WWE’s Power 25. The Miz ranks #4 in our Best Real World/Road Rules Challenge contestants behind Alton, Veronica, and Coral.

But the Miz storms out from the beginning and shockingly takes down CM Punk and we can’t help but wonder is Punk’s time in the WWE up?

The next 25 minutes of ECW are spent on commercials, a lackluster divas match, commercials, a Judgment Day preview, Colin Delaney highlights, and more commercials. Then we’re back to wrestling. Oh wait, it’s Colin Delaney. He’s quickly slaughtered by Mike Knox and then GM Armando Estrada. How long will it take Mr. Delaney to be competitive? How many nutritional supplements and protein shakes will he need? Spend that contract money well little guy.

Finally, a wrestling match. Kane vs. John Morrison. We make a quick check on how many minutes left in the show? Fifteen. Again, this one seems like a mismatch but we wonder: could Morrison repeat his partners success against their Judgment Day opponent? Kane’s prolonged beating of Morrison seems to indicate no but then the tables are turned and the Shamen of Sexy ruthlessly attacks Kane’s left knee for about five yawn-inducing minutes.

Morrison puts any fans who haven’t already gone to bed out of their misery by pinning Kane and winning the ECW Championship! What’s that? This wasn’t actually a title bout? What exactly was the point then?

The shows highlight: Had to be the guy at ringside dressed like Hulk Hogan for the second straight show. That’s dedication. Will he be there for SmackDown this Friday? Considering ECW and SmackDown were both filmed last night in Grand Rapids, we’re saying the odds are good.

Photo Source: Newscom.com

Post from: EveryJoe

ECW 101: Miz and Morrison Win Tonight, Will Surely Lose on Sunday

Image details: Coolio served by picapp.com

Results
Mike Knox def. Tommy Dreamer
Kofi Kingston def. Matt Striker
Colin Delaney def. Armando Estrada
Kane and CM Punk def. Chavo Guerrero and Bam Neely

ECW’s 100th show on the SciFi Network was supposed to be a celebration. Instead, this viewer just wished SciFi would have replayed one of their myriad disaster movies. Maybe even Pterodactyl: Evil is in the Air, you know the one wear rapper Coolio empties lots of ammunition into countless prehistoric flying beats. I love that one.

Instead we were blessed with continued keep-rising-to-the-top saga of the scrawny, ultimate underdog Colin Delaney who against all odds defeated ECW GM Armando Estrada and won an ECW contract. Give me a break. After winning the bout, Colin’s faux-thankful and amazed face appeared as genuine as American Idol David Archuleta while listening to the judges. Not at all. Learn how to act Colin and please go get a spray tan.

In between bouts the ECW showed top highlights from the previous 100 episodes including a really long clip of the Boogeyman spitting worms into some poor wrestlers mouth. I immediately thought “Didn’t that happen to Coolio on Fear Factor?” Coolio, SciFi, Pterodactyls.

I snapped out of it long enough to see CM Punk and Kane team up against Chavo Guerrero and Bam Neely while John Morrison and The Miz whined about a wide variety of topics alongside the newly stationary Mike Adamle. CM Punk was his usual high-flying, hard-working, entertaining self. Kane did a lot standing around. I’m sure a choke slam happened. But by that point I think I had dozed off.

Post from: EveryJoe

SciFi Network Shows 100th ECW Episode