Tony Stewart Waxes Back for Charity

Jodie Lynn Boduch — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 14:52:44 +0000

What is it with Tony Stewart and charitable acts involving bodily fluids and/or features rarely discussed in polite company?\r\n\r\nFirst, the NASCAR driver auctioned off a sweaty towel. Scary thought, but scarier yet is the realization that someone actually paid for that and is showing off this newly acquired trophy to everyone they know.\r\n\r\nNow it\’s a back wax. No, he didn\’t auction off the wax strip, a fear-inducing mental image likely to make even horror movie directors hide their eyes and cry \”Enough!\”\r\n\r\nBut he did agree to the procedure in order to raise funds for charity—netting an admirable $125K or so, we should add. (Thanks to devoted reader Pat for the heads-up).\r\n\r\nNo word on whether Goodyear ponied up some cash, though given his kind words for the company, we wouldn\’t be surprised if they did so just to watch him squirm in discomfort.\r\n\r\nOh, and how do we know he was uncomfortable? He expressed a preference for getting a punt to the family jewels over the waxing. Welcome to our world, pal. Chicks know more about wax on, wax off than Ralph Macchio in all three Karate Kid movies combined.\r\n\r\nAnd you know, we\’re happy Stewart is all about giving back, but color us concerned about the logical implications of this body fetish. If No. 20\’s next act involves toenail clippings and/or a jockstrap, either separately or somehow in conjunction with one another, we\’re going to declare this trend more over-the-top than the notion that Eli Manning is an elite quarterback.\r\n\r\nP.S. Thanks to reader Tammy and to fellow b5-er Tim Zaegel for filling in the blanks about fellow NASCAR driver Kevin Harvick\’s entertaining role in the challenge.

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Tony Stewart Waxes Back for Charity