If GM could manufacture cars the way they manufacture ridiculous press statements, they’d be the most profitable company on the planet.

As they announced they would gladly accept another $30 billion from your generous tax contributions (in addition to the $20 billion you forked over in the last six months while GM kept telling you it didn’t need to declare bankruptcy), GM stated “it believed the [bankruptcy] filing was not an acknowledgment of failure, but a necessary way to cleanse itself in an orderly fashion of problems and costs that have dogged it for decades.”

In the same way, this following video is not really an acknowledgment of a skateboarding failure but a necessary way to cleanse yourself in an orderly fashion of the problem of ever having kids.

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I wish someone would have asked GM at the press conference, “You alright?”

Post from: EveryJoe

Great Moments In Bailout History

General Motors has announced that it will be holding a press conference on Monday, presumably to announce its impending bankruptcy.

Plans hit a snag, however, when the company said it might not be able to meet its financial commitments to pay for the press briefing if it didn’t receive concessions from the local electrical worker’s union.

The company is also insisting the company that will be supplying the podium for the press conference accept a 12% equity stake in the company in lieu of the $125 rental payment for the faux-wood podium to be used to announce that the world’s leading car company has found itself unable to make money making cars.

“If we can’t make money as the industry leader in our core business, we certainly can’t afford the cost of a plywood podium,” said CEO Fritz Henderson who then went on to blame the recent recession for GM’s inability to meet podium payment costs.

President Obama insisted he stood with teleprompter companies, seating companies and companies that made television cameras but “would not stand with anyone who actually expected to get paid full price for providing a product or service.”

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GM’s top salesman, Biff Stroganoff, will help negotiate company’s path through bankruptcy

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Image: bonkedproducer on Flickr

Post from: EveryJoe

GM Schedules Monday Press Conference