WORST

Time and place to throw a yellow flag into the stands: Bart Scott of the Baltimore Ravens has a lock on this one. The Ravens were thisclose to beating the Pats until New England scored a touchdown with less than a minute to go. Scott pitched a fit, got a yellow flag resulting in a 15-yard penalty, threw said flag into the stands, and got his team a second 15-yard penalty as well as a fine. Wicked smaht! 

Disappointment concerning a Hall of Famer shoo-in (Tie): Barry Bonds, of course. Has there ever been a player with such great stats so widely reviled? His indictment for steroid abuse allegations surprised no one, but it did produce a lot of tsk-tsks and water cooler chat about the sport of baseball.  

Disappointment concerning Hall of Famer shoo-in (Tie): On the heels of the Bonds indictment came the Mitchell Report that named names, among which was destined-for-his-own-Cooperstown-plaque Roger Clemens. Clemens denies the steroid abuse allegations, but as with Bonds, the news—true or not—represents a dark day for baseball.

Choice of attire if you’re a personal tennis coach: Speaking of shoo-ins, Claire Lyte is one for this category. As a rule, wearing your 13-year-old pupil’s pink undies is never, ever OK.

Girlfriend, in terms of luck: Dallas Cowboys fans (and some players) definitely do not think Jessica Simpson is QB Tony Romo’s sports muse. His worst career game happened to be the one she attended to pretend to understand football to cheer on her main man.

Behavior off the field: Make no bones about it, this (dis)honor goes to Michael Vick. If you don’t understand all the fuss, do some research on dogfighting. Chances are you’ll not only be appalled, you’ll also wonder why Vick would throw his NFL career and reputation away for the sake of “blood” money.   

BEST

Halloween Costume: No contest. This goes to Detroit Lions QB Jon Kitna and his wife for poking fun at the, um, bare truth regarding defensive coach Joe Cullen’s past indiscretion at Wendy’s.

Comeback: Sure, the New England bias on this blog is no secret. But even some members of Red Sox Nation considered them over-and-out during the playoffs. Winning the World Series? Fahgeddaboutit. Boy, were we smug when all was said and done!

Comeback, honorable mention: Oh, here’s that bias again. The Boston Celtics. They went 24-58 in 2006-2007; this season, they have the best record in the NBA so far at 26-3.

Impressions: Even if you are unfamiliar with the quirks of the world’s best tennis players, you’re likely to enjoy fellow player Novak Djokovic’s impressions (3m, 47s) of Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal, Andy Roddick, and Maria Sharapova.  

Girlfriend, in terms of luck: Gisele Bundchen to Tom Brady. See next items for explanation. 

Record-breaking: We plan ahead, we really do. Our plan to break this Best and Worst list into two posts was guided by the outcome of the Pats-Giants game on Saturday. Would our fave football team grab “Best Record” or “Worst Loss Ev-ah”? Luckily, they landed on the BEST list (and we wore our Tom Brady shirt while traveling home from FL yesterday to see how many people would comment. Three!).

Besides going 16-0 (most games won in a season) to become only the fourth undefeated team (the ‘72 Miami Dolphins were the last to do it), the Patriots broke several other regular season records in Saturday’s game: Tom Brady surpassed Petyon Manning for most TD passes thrown (50); Randy Moss moved ahead of Jerry Rice for most TD receptions (23), and the team broke the record held by the 1998 Minnesota Vikings (556) for the most points scored in a season (561). Read here about other records set this season.

Like end-of-year lists? We’ll be back later with more from some of the other bloggers on b5’s Sports Channel!

Post from: EveryJoe

Best and Worst of Sports in 2007, Part II

2. If you want substance behind a player’s guarantee that his team will win, don’t expect the Steelers’ Anthony Smith—spotted wearing egg on his trash-talking visage today—to be your guy.

3. The yellow flag-tossing trend didn’t catch on. That $25,000 fine the league assessed Bart Scott for his antics on December 3 apparently weren’t much of an incentive.

4. Watching Borat the night before the game may ingrain the phrase “like sleeve of wizard” in one’s head; surprisingly, its descriptive use for anything “loose” or “hanging” comes in handy during football games, too.

5. It’s always wise to hold onto receipts. Guess we can return that unopened Pepto Bismol now . . .

P.S. Feeling poll-happy? Vote here for Gossip on Sports. Leave a comment for your chance to win some bath salts!

Post from: EveryJoe

5 Things Learned from the Pats-Steelers Game

Coach: Bart, if we’re ahead of the undefeated Patriots but then they score a touchdown to pull ahead with less than a minute to go, what’s the best thing to do?

Bart Scott: Throw a temper tantrum?

Coach: Don’t be a knucklehead! That’ll get you a 15-yard penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct!

Bart Scott: *&$#^@! If the zebras drop a flag on the field against me, I’m gonna chuck that banana-colored hanky right into the fifth row behind the endzone!

Coach: *slams clipboard against locker* No, no, a thousand times no! Pour some Gatorade down your shorts and chill out. Idiocy like that will land you a second 15-yard penalty. Use your head! 

Aaaaannd . . .  scene.

Cut to the game, where said conduct and penalties take place. Pan to Scott pitching a fit, and slowly fade away to a close-only-counts-in-horseshoes-and-hand-grenades Hail Mary pass (and catch) by the Ravens. The “Please, PLEASE let New England lose” broadcast booth falls silent, and within minutes, Pats 12-0 pops up on blogs and online sports networks everywhere. 

Let’s face it, New England got luckier than A-Rod that time in Toronto with his mystery blonde/strip joint companion. File Monday night’s game under “P” for “Phew! That was a close one!” or “D” for “Don Shula is having heartburn because the ‘asterisk’ Pats are still aiming for that perfect record.”

Thank goodness we greased the palms of those elves before devising our Holiday Wishlist (see below) . . .

Post from: EveryJoe

Yellow Flags: What Not to Do