Image details: Coolio served by picapp.com

Results
Mike Knox def. Tommy Dreamer
Kofi Kingston def. Matt Striker
Colin Delaney def. Armando Estrada
Kane and CM Punk def. Chavo Guerrero and Bam Neely

ECW’s 100th show on the SciFi Network was supposed to be a celebration. Instead, this viewer just wished SciFi would have replayed one of their myriad disaster movies. Maybe even Pterodactyl: Evil is in the Air, you know the one wear rapper Coolio empties lots of ammunition into countless prehistoric flying beats. I love that one.

Instead we were blessed with continued keep-rising-to-the-top saga of the scrawny, ultimate underdog Colin Delaney who against all odds defeated ECW GM Armando Estrada and won an ECW contract. Give me a break. After winning the bout, Colin’s faux-thankful and amazed face appeared as genuine as American Idol David Archuleta while listening to the judges. Not at all. Learn how to act Colin and please go get a spray tan.

In between bouts the ECW showed top highlights from the previous 100 episodes including a really long clip of the Boogeyman spitting worms into some poor wrestlers mouth. I immediately thought “Didn’t that happen to Coolio on Fear Factor?” Coolio, SciFi, Pterodactyls.

I snapped out of it long enough to see CM Punk and Kane team up against Chavo Guerrero and Bam Neely while John Morrison and The Miz whined about a wide variety of topics alongside the newly stationary Mike Adamle. CM Punk was his usual high-flying, hard-working, entertaining self. Kane did a lot standing around. I’m sure a choke slam happened. But by that point I think I had dozed off.

Last nights SmackDown was the first since the Royal Rumble last Sunday meaning that there was lots of unresolved business including what matches would be set up for No Way Out. Well SmackDown answered some questions and set up matches that will probably answer others.

This weeks SmackDown was live as opposed to the typical Tuesday tapings. This meant no leaks of twists or anything of that nature. As far as matches went Chris Benoit, the U.S. Champion, retained his title against Finlay. Deuce and Domino defeated Paul London and Brian Kendrick, the current Tag Champs, in a non-title match. The victory throws them into a possible title match at No Way Out.

Other matches had Mr. Kennedy topping Vito and Miz beating Matt Hardy. Not sure where the Miz fits in right now on the show but I hope they give him some direction so he doesn’t seem so thrown in on every episode. The big news of the night wasn’t the matches however but what transpired between them.

Batista took to the ring calling out Undertaker to provide him and the world and answer to who he will be challenging at Wrestlemania 23. Instead of the Dead Man showing up John Cena made a special appearance on SmackDown seeking an answer to the same question. Undertaker then came to ringside only to be interupted by Shawn Michaels who wanted Undertaker to face him at Wrestlemania.

With all four men asking questions and getting no answers Mr. McMahon, who has appeared on every WWE show since the Rumble, showed up to provide a response to everyones questions. The answer: A tag team match at No Way Out with John Cena and tag team partner Shawn Michaels facing Batista and Undertaker. Wow! I have to give WWE props on setting up storylines so this match could happen.

This match will set up the Wrestlemania 23 matches with Undertaker most likely facing Batista and Shawn Michaels taking on Cena but we will just have to wait a few weeks for the PPV when these can become announced matches (hopefully that is).

Also after Kennedy’s win over Vito GM Theodore Long announced he would get a rematch for the World Heavyweight Title against Batista next week on SmackDown. Also the Kane/Booker rivalry from the Royal Rumble heated up when Kane cleared the ring during one of Bookers ceremonies. I wouldn’t be surprised to see these two face of at No Way Out as well.

On the bad side of thing Vickie Guerrero announced should be returning to SmackDown soon. What a shame too, I thought she was done with the show.

Theodore Long, the GM of SmackDown, took to the microphone to start the show to go over the format of the matches in the beat the clock sprint and to announce that the winner would take on Batista at Royal Rumble.

First match of the night was Chavo Guerrero against Kane. Being the first match of the night both competitors had the opportunity to set the mark that everyone else had to beat. Kane seized the opportunity beating Chavo in 7 minutes 52 seconds.

The next match was one of the more interesting ones as normal tag team partners Paul London and Brian Kendrick had to go head to head in singles action. The tag team champions fought hard but neither were able to score a decision as Kane’s time came and went.

Former Champion King Booker was next on the mat to take on Cruiserweight Champion Gregory Helms. Booker won in 6 minutes 24 seconds to set a new time for the rest of the competition to beat. After the match Boogeyman continued his recent series of assaults of Helms as he attacked the champion with his trademark worms.

Jimmy Wang Yang, who I personally consider the funniest gimmick on the entire show based on his name alone, faced Tatanka in the next match. He came close to beating the King’s time but as the referee was counting Wang’s pin the buzzer signifying Booker’s time sounded. Tatanka took advantage of the stunned cowboy and assaulted him before leaving the ring.

Although no ‘main event’ was hyped for the evening the last match could really be considered one as Mr. Kennedy took on Chris Benoit in what appeared to be the last chance the Superstars had to beat Booker’s time and earn their shot at Batista.

Kennedy used an exposed turnbuckle to turn the tide on Helms and get the victory in just 5 minutes 7 seconds effectively securing his chances for the title. But not so fast? The sprint has been extended and will likely dominate next weeks action as well. On the docket for next week: Matt Hardy, Finlay, Undertaker and MVP.

As promised MVP took to the mic during the episode showing the remaining damage he had left from Armageddon’s inferno match with Kane. In the speech MVP vowed to ‘beat the clock’ to garner his chance at the title.

In other happenings Ashley defeated Jillian, Vickie Guerrero discussed being betrayed, and former Diva Search contestant Maryse made an appearance in a video likely hyping her eventual addition to the SmackDown roster.

So what happened at this weeks SmackDown which just might have had the most vague preview in recent WWE history. Well, not a lot. No there were matches but very little in the way storyline development.

Looking to avenge their loss to Cena and Batista at Armageddon, Finlay and Booker demanded a rematch from Theodore Long. Instead of rematch they got more than they bargained for, a tag match against Kane and Undertaker. In the match Booker and Finlay attempted to remove Kane from the action by keeping him in the ring while they assaulted Undertaker at ringside. Despite hitting the Phenom with a chair, scepter, and a low blow Undertaker was able to recover and get the win for the brothers of destruction.

The rivalry between Chavo and Chris Benoit continued this week as well. With Benoit having Chavo locked in a sharpshooter Vickie Guerrero entered the ring and hit Benoit with the U.S. Championship causing the DQ. While exiting the ring Chavo verbally assaulted Vickie before showing her to the mat.

Joey Mercury made an appearance at SmackDown accusing The Hardys of being responsible for his injury.Matt Hardy attempted to apologize to young star stating it was a dangerous match. While Hardy was leaving the ring Mercury yelled at Matt to wrestle him. After Matt refused Mercury called out partner Johnny Nitro who stole the win from Matt by using the ropes.

In another match Batista pinned Sylvan who was dressed up as Santa. Boogeyman and Gregory Helms began to feud during the nights action and JBL ridiculed the WWE and fans. In Diva action Ashley and Layla beat Kristal and Jillian. Next week SmackDown will air a best moments show in place of the normal action.