I sat down to play a game when the controller suddenly jumped down, and scurried under the couch.  That really irritated me.  Now I was going to try and coax it out from under the sofa.

It was too frightened to “come out and play”, so I let it be. I could not help wondering what had scared it when all of a sudden the TV remote control and the Internet router started to attack me.

The TV remote launched its deadly double A attack.  I flipped the coffee table up on its side and dove behind it.  While the TV remote pinned me down, the router tried to flanked me. I flung my coffee at the router and scored a direct hit. It popped and hissed as the moisture leaked in causing it to short circuited.

“One down and one to go,” I mumbled to myself.

The digital camera was cowering behind the chair so I dove from my hiding spot to scoop it up.  I let loose with a round of flashes that disorientated the remote just long enough for me to engage it in a little hand to hand.  (ninja style)

I got behind it and channeled all of the Chuck Norris type strength I could muster and with one snatch and grab I removed its batteries.

After my heart rate had returned to normal I noticed that I had ripped my pants – I totally hate when that happens.  I decided to go to the mall and get some more pants.  On the way out the door, I noticed that the PS3 controller was sitting on the couch purring.  (worthless no fighting skills having controller)

Well, I climbed on to my platypus and noticed it was starting to pull a little to the right.  I made a mental note to get it in to the shop and I turned up the radio.  I pulled into the parking lot and got a sweet spot by the door.  “It’s about time things started going my way,” I said to no one in particular.

As I walked through the food court I passed Morgan Webb.  She started hounding me, so I let her tag along.  We strolled to Banana Republic and went inside.  It really isn’t my kind of store, but you know how chicks can be.

Just as I was finished paying for my khakis and perfect T,  a crazy Hamas terrorist cell with pure hate in their eyes stormed in.  They were all like, “blah blah Israel and blah blah death to the infidels.”  “ENOUGH ALREADY,” I yelled.  They stopped and stared.  “Is this Gaza?” one of them asked sheepishly.  “No,” I said, “you should have taken a left at Albuquerque.” They apologized, swept up the mess they had made, and left.  (terrorism really is stupid.)

Well, the hits just kept coming, because when I got to the parking lot, someone had shaved a big stripe on my platypus.  You can bet that as deep as it is it won’t just buff out.

I got home around four and the controller had chewed on one of my shoes.  I was completely exhausted.  So I just made a sandwich and went to bed.

Killzone 2 looks pretty cool.

Image Source:kawazu [pale black]

Post from: EveryJoe

Long Day

Game reviews have been getting a lot of criticism nowadays. Several of the issues raised are valid: that the ratings seem too high, that publishers wield influence in the reviews, and certain genres like MMOs aren’t fit for a definitive review. As the popularity of blogs and user-generated content increase, expect this sentiment—especially among core audiences who have access to this medium—to be more prevalent.

Interestingly, game reviewers themselves offer no defense to the accusations being hurled against them. Is this a sign of guilt? Naysayers would be quick to agree. Let me just say this: don’t flatter yourselves.

Game journalists write about video games and review these products for a living. There are two main differences between these professionals and the multitude of wannabes that try in vain to do the same thing: the professionals do it way better, and get paid for it.

Just because the job seems easy (i.e. play and finish video games, write a 1,200-word review, cash in the check), many gamers think they can do better. Let me ask this: if it were really as easy as people thought it was, then why aren’t there more professional game journalists in the world?

Because the truth is—it’s not that easy.

When hopefuls get ignored for their “thorough” write-ups, when wannabes can’t get their feet through the game-reviewing door, when aspirants fail no matter what they do, they criticize.

It’s just sour grapes.

This doesn’t mean that the issues raised about game reviews aren’t valid because they are. However, the problem doesn’t lie directly with the medium itself, but with other factors. The high ratings, for example, wouldn’t be addressed immediately by just changing the numerical scales. A paradigm shift is also needed for the readers who have gotten used to the practice.

MMOs are another matter. Since these virtual worlds are constantly evolving, updates should perhaps be “reviewed” as well. An analysis could be done on individual updates, or the MMO could be scrutinized as a whole—including the latest update. There are different ways to go about this, but the answer doesn’t lie in attacking the medium.

Ultimately, we look to these reviewers for recommendations. We must take a review for what it is—an opinion piece. Some of its writers do it for a living; some post it on a free blog. We may not always agree with the authors, but we don’t really have a choice. It’s either we wait for our friends’ recommendations (who are likely waiting for the reviews themselves), base our decision on a single rating or aggregate score, allow ourselves to be swept up by hype, or read the entire review and come out informed.

Image for Gears of War is courtesy of Microsoft Games.

Post from: EveryJoe

Why game reviews get a lot of flak

What I don’t like about the 360 is its unreliability. If there was a Guinness World Record for worst failure rate, I won’t be surprised to see the 360’s image placed beside it.

What’s even more surprising is that Xbox 360 gamers are commending Microsoft for having “great customer service.” Don’t believe me? Read the case of the wiped 360 at Gamerscore blog. All you have to do is look at the comments made by its faithful readers.

In a nutshell, this wiped 360 is about some kid’s prized Xbox 360 that had several (possibly important) signatures and drawings on it. The unit was brought in for repairs at Microsoft. When the console was returned, the signatures and drawings were gone. Microsoft said it’s working on the issue and the misguided applauded.

Naturally, I had to put in my two cents’ worth. I said I was surprised that people are okay in seeing 360 problems as a regular occurrence. Some guy stepped up and said “they” commend Microsoft for “fixing what was admittedly broken.”

The fellow even brought up “problems with the PS2,” and that Sony didn’t repair the faulty units for free and that “you were better off getting a new unit.”

My reply? Read below:

@ Torrence Davis

“Remember the problems with the PS2?”

Like any electronic product, I’m sure it had its share of problems. Care to give me a percentile versus the number of people that bought that console?

Now compare this with the 360.

Heck, take any mass-produced electronic product and compare its failure rate with the 360. See any difference?

Gee, you’re right man! The failure rate of the 360 is insane! How can I overlook that fact and still give props to Microsoft for their “good customer service?”

“360 gamers love the system… ”

Correction. 360 gamers love the games, but the system? Not so much. Why? They’re really disappointed that the failure rate is very high. Can you blame them?

Your launch 360 is still working, and you may argue till you’re blue in the face that majority of 360 units don’t fail (since reported figures reveal a ridiculous rate of 33% to 40%; 100% minus this figure means a very rough estimate of 70%+ that don’t fail, right?), but you must face the fact that no other electronic product has this high a failure rate.

I’ve heard of failure rates at .02%, I’ve read of failure rates at 3%, I’ve heard of even 8%, but I have never ever heard of 33% to 40%.

Until now, at least.

What is with you people? Has your devotion to Bill Gates blinded you so? Does he pay for your child’s tuition? Or your mortgage?

FYI, my ancient PS2 is seven years old and still running. My cousin’s PS2 is four years old and still running. My high school buddy’s PS2 was bought at launch and it’s still working. My officemate’s first-generation iPod (circa 2001) is still working, our old Betamax is still working and we bought that thing way back in 1988.

You know what? I would never exchange a quality product with bad customer service for an unreliable one with excellent customer service.

After all, if I purchased a good product, I would rarely need to deal with crappy customer service in the first place. But that’s just me.

Post from: EveryJoe

Xbox 360 fans commend MS customer service, but are fine with console unreliability

I believe that viewing one’s desktop gives us a peek at one’s personality. How? It’s similar to that TV show I was watching where two people set out to examine a mystery person’s house and belongings, then proceeds to deducing facts about said mystery person.

Well, seeing one’s desktop won’t necessarily glean the individual’s darkest secrets but it would certainly give you a clue as to his or her line of work, interests, and perhaps to a certain degree—even behavior.

I want to do a little experiment by starting an Internet meme. This time, instead of asking the usual five to seven different things, I’d like to focus on desktops.

I show my desktop, you show me yours.

To make things more interesting, we later deduce facets of an individual’s personality (i.e. interests, likes, maybe even dislikes.) and confirm if said deductions are correct or not. Since I’m the instigator of this meme, I can’t make any deductions yet. When do we start deducing? When the people I’ve tagged have started responding.

To spread this meme, one just needs to tag seven people, like so.

Amy at Ironic Gamer
Erin at Play-Girlz
Nadia at PlayStation Monger
Joel at MMOtaku
Amber at The Adventuress
Angelo at WoW Obsessed
Kevin at Games Industry Wire

Of course, the bloggers I’ve tagged should look for seven other people to tag. All the people that get tagged would also look for seven more to tag. Got it?

Post from: EveryJoe

What’s your desktop like?

It’s been a while since I’ve been last tagged. This time, it’s from the Bird Man.

5 things found in my bag:

1. My Nintendo DS
2. Mobile phone charger
3. DS charger
4. Toiletries
5. Sansa MP3 player

5 things found in my wallet:

1. Money
2. Credit card
3. Social security ID
4. Driver’s license
5. Valuable receipts

5 favorite things in my room:

1. My PC
2. My PlayStation 2
3. My bed
4. All my fricking books
5. An insane amount of CDs and DVDs, most of which are games

5 things I have always wanted to do:

1. Buy an Xbox 360
2. Visit Akihabara
3. Play Paintball
4. Invest in real estate
5. Take up Masters’ in English

5 things I’m currently into:

1. PC games
2. Console games
3. DS games
4. Blogging
5. Spurs basketball. I’ve been into them for the past 13 years.

5 people I’m going to tag:

1. Jayvee
2. Kevin
3. Rommel
4. CJ
5. Brian

Image is from Onflex.

Post from: EveryJoe

More meme: Five things about me that I haven’t mentioned the last time

1. I used to be an amateur basketball coach in our district. Yes, your friendly-neighborhood ranter used to stay at the sidelines, screaming oaths at a group of hormonally-imbalanced teens who can’t play under a team concept even if their lives depended on it.
2. Playing Half-Life 2 for long periods gives me a terrible headache. If I chose to continue, my most recent meal would seek to exit my body through my kisser.
3. I have obsessive-compulsive tendencies. No, not the way a meticulous person would describe himself so that other people would find it cute. I’m talking about folding-hamburger-wrappers-neatly-after-eating-its-contents, and placing-books-and-CDs-in-a-90-degree-angle sort of way.
4. I like the Spice Girls.
5. I have a collection of game boxes at home. I can’t bear part with anything and everything that a game came with. Ever.
6. I’m a member of Toastmasters, an organization devoted to developing speaking and leadership skills.
7. I was suckered on buying S.T.A.L.K.E.R. the week it came out. I waited six years for it, but I’ve yet to play the game longer than 10 minutes.

Now I have to find seven more people to tag for the meme. Here’s the list:

Erin at Play-Girlz
Amber at The Adventuress
Patrick at Play Gadgets
Al Ewing at Re: Retro
Spencer at Silicon Era
Kris at Games Industry Wire
Leora at Sims Gamer

P.S.
Noticed anything new about the blog? How about the spanking new design? I’m loving it. How about you?

P.S.2
I’ve informed the people above regarding the meme. Sorry for semi-spamming your soapboxes.

Post from: EveryJoe

Meme mia! Time for a meme

They’ve opened up a forum to allow you to post your ideas and suggestions for things that would make modding easier for the community.

we have a good idea of what you guys need from us; we’re looking for more leftfield suggestions that will make your lives easier so you can focus on the making of stuff.

Here’s your chance gentlemen and ladies. Be heard. And while they make no promises to actually make do on any of the suggestions the fact that they’ve done this open suggestion thing is a great start to getting you folks the things you need to make the Quake Wars community solid and long lasting. They know what keeps a game going and they’re being smart by helping you guys out. This is what I like to see from developers. None of this make a game, patch it a couple of times and then 6 months later we’ve got a “sequel” that’s more an expansion pack than actual full game. Epic knows about this building a community strategy too. Hopefully the other big names will catch on.

Post from: EveryJoe

Modding Quake Wars

First off. Thing is effing heavy. Has some serious weight to it. You could drown an entire litter of puppies with this thing. It’s shiny. Only comes with one controller. It is wirless and much like the 360 controller it has a USB cord for charging the battery. The cord however is short as hell. I mean it’s seriously short. I guess they didn’t really want you using the controller when it was plugged in. Anyways you power it on, you get a menu much like the PSP’s. There’s some nonsense about joining Sony Live or wtf ever they called it.

mmm yay Menus. And..the game is in. (Ridge Racer 7) and we’re off!! Stupid work schedules have kept me from playing it at any length. I’ll have to take time out on Tuesday or something to really “test” it thoroughly. I’ll get some pictures too. I guess this is proof that the Playstation 3 “shortage” is over. Though I doubt it’ll be any consolation to Ingrid.

Post from: EveryJoe

3 is higher than 2 so it must be better

Oddly enough the biggest hype came over the fishing game. Everyone just wanted to fish. One of the Wii veteran’s (meaning he’s had one for a bit) fired it up and began driving around in the boat finding a spot to fish. There’s a lot of lures and..bait..and..things. It’s a hardcore fishing sim. You use the controller just like a fishing rod. You swing back and then forward and it casts the line. Then you use the extra little controller piece dealie and reel it in. They caught some fish. 3lbs..and stuff… the boss caught a fish. Also 3lbs or so…I caught some fish…4lbs…5lbs…7lbs. Needless to say. I win. Though there was some confusion as wtf to do with the “net” mini game. Apparently if the fish is too heavy…or has teeth you need to use a net to bring it in. You get this black screen that pops up with a big golden circle. A little weave lookin net circle in the middle and a fish icon floating about inside of it. (I only figured this out after much trial and error) You then have to use the controller to manuever your net over the fish at which time you will be shown a series of buttons to push in order to actually catch the fish. A little random and tedius but oh well.

Also, in other news, due to a Christmas bonus, I recently purchased an Xbox 360 and Gears of War. Because UPS seems to have trouble delivering a package when you’re not at home, I took the day off and waited for it. I know. It was quite the sacrifice, but I am willing to take such hits. I’m a trooper like that. Needless to say, I’m quite happy with my purchase and what not. This is definitely the year for consoles and while I’ve never been a huge fan of them, it’s a good time for console players at the moment.

Hopefully you’ll forgive my lack of FPS news. But we’ll get around to that another time.

Post from: EveryJoe

Guess what WE got?!

Once the appointed time came I clicked back over and watched to see what was their first day of gaming. I was curious as to how they would treat it and watching the show go on, I was fairly impressed. I was expecting a lot more over the top hype like Spike TV does and they kept it fairly clean. The feeling I got most out of it was that it felt like an “extreme” sport. Like how you’d see the XGames or something. They focused on the players sitting there in front of TVs and they’d flash up bios on the big teams and their team members. It wasn’t bad. Then they’d cut to footage of the gameplay and thankfully they knew that’s what people really wanted so they gave that plenty of airtime.

They’d do a quick overview of the gametype they were playing and of the map and then they had this neat thing where they could take a snapshot of the map and show a player’s progress from point to point. The commentary wasn’t awful and all in all I’d be willing to watch it again if I was more of a Halo fan.

So a kudos to USA for not making gaming seem stupid and for having a show that was passable as gaming entertainment.

Post from: EveryJoe

Gaming on TV