Brian Kendrick def. Stevie Richards
The Great Khali def. Jeff Hardy
Maria def. Victoria
Edge and the wedding planner Alicia Fox blissfully talk

1. In my ECW recap I said that the majority of people around me didn’t appreciate my cheers. That said, my “Give Michael Jackson back his jacket” taunt towards Brian Kendrick was greeted with lots of laughter.

2. I didn’t rest on my laurels. My next offering was “How did you get Suge Knight to be your manager?” which wasn’t received so warmly. Mrs. JandG added, “And why is he dressed like Seal?” More silence. After Ezekial busts Stevie Richards up (post The Kendrick pin) I wonder aloud “Why don’t they just let Suge wrestle? He killed Tupac, you know?” Crickets. “And Biggie too!” Mrs. JandG quietly says “Ok, now please be quiet, I don’t want you to be offed too. He’s got spies. Even in the upper deck at the Giant Center. I’m serious.”

3. The Great Khali’s music comes on and my taunting reaches absurd levels. Only my taunts are directed at referee Charles Robinson and no one seems to understand. Taunts like “Don’t get your skull crushed again blondie!” and “You can’t run away this time single dad.” Mrs. JandG turned to me and wondered, “What (in blazes) are you talking about?”

4. Jeff Hardy isn’t looking bad against his competitor who, by the way, is twice his size. But of course there is no way he can win since Khali is HHH’s SummerSlam opponent. In fact, Hardy hits a Whisper in the Wind and then a Swanton Bomb but before he can pin the Punjabi peripatetic MVP interrupts things. Khali lifts Hardy into the ring by his skull. Charles Robinson is shaking with fear. Khali puts Hardy into a Facial Vice Grip and Robinson, calling on his own past traumas, ends the match.

Hardy didn’t want it to end. He could’ve come back. Robinson needs to let go of his past and his fears.

5. Hardy doesn’t look good. Not one bit. Mrs. JandG offers “Jeff could really use a Chocolate Spa.” Good thing he’s in Hershey.

6. FYI, these WWE Divas matches aren’t nearly as interesting when you’re in the upper deck. On TV, they are a little better. Mick Foley makes a Sound of Music reference in regards to Maria. Tori Amos last segment, Julie Andrews and American musicals this time? Is there something you need to tell us Mick?

7. Edge and Alicia Fox a/k/a the wedding planner discuss her SmackDown ticket situation. Edge says “I got you that ticket so you’d be up close and personal to watch the Cutting Edge” but, he intonates, I didn’t want you backstage with me causing problems. At this point I yell, “There are empty seats for you up here Alicia! Come on up. I won’t deny you!” Crickets. Crickets.

Post from: EveryJoe

8/1/08 WWE SmackDown: We Were There Again Part Two

Michelle McCool def. Maryse
Brian Kendrick def. Shannon Moore
Edge and Vickie Guerrero ostensibly apologize

Segment Six
Michelle McCool is making her first defense of her Divas Title against French Canadian beauty Maryse. Maryse’s outfits get progressively provocative each week. I am not complaining.

When JR announces her name it sounds like “Maurice” and I think of an very old and very bald male Harrisburg restaurateur who is now probably deceased. Major turnoff. Then Mick Foley calls her a nasty, naughty girl and all bad images are forgotten. Before we get any more illicit zoomed images of Maryse skimpy black vinyl outfit she is caught by a debilitating Brazilian heel hook and taps out.

McCool’s first title defense is successful.

Segment Seven
Vickie is back in her wheelchair. More importantly, she has a new hairdo. OK, it’s not that important, her new straightened hair is not going to make her good looking. Not even Michael Jackson-level surgery could do that. Vickie has heard rumors about the previously mentioned Edge/Alicia Fox conversation and asks Bam Neely and Chavo Guerrero what has been said. Thankfully the two man up and admit nothing. Word, bro(s).

Edge now says he want to apologize to Vickie. We will see.

Brian Kendrick in his new Leonardo DiCaprio-inspired persona (no, really) makes his way to the ring and Mrs. Jabandgrapple audibly gasps, “What (in the world) is that? Isn’t that the jacket from the Bad video?”

Yes. That’s a second Michael Jackson reference in less than 20 minutes. But she is right. Kendrick’s jacket is the most ridiculous thing known to man. One lapel is faux-tiger skin, the other fake jewel studs. The jacket’s back is ripped with three razor gashes as if it were in a battle with Wolverine.

Kendrick pins jobber Shannon Moore with ease. I’ll be the first to say that Kendrick’s relationship with his bodyguard Ezekiel is a little bit weird to me. Just saying.

After the match Vickie, Chavo and Bam discuss Edge’s apology. Vickie doesn’t seem to be that understanding. It is so on.

Segment Eight
Edge saunters down to the ring with his cocky Canadian confidence. He wants his wedding cake and he wants to eat the wedding planner too. Is he really going to apologize. As Vickie is being wheeled to the ring by Chavo a few scattered Philadelphians yell “You suck!”

Mrs. Jabandgrapple wonders, “If she’s such a cripple then why is she wearing stiletto heels?” And you thought the cake comment went too far.

Edge looks his wife in the eye and goes down on his knee to apologize. He tells her that what he’s done is horrible and understands if she can’t forgive him. He says the video didn’t show how many times he tried to say no. Mr. Jabandgrapple hears you dog. He’s been in that situation too much to even mention. Oh, regret. Oh, regret.

Edge echoes Badfinger when he says “I can’t live if living is without you” but Vickie isn’t sympathetic. She’s no Harry Nilsson. Instead she counters with, “Well guess what Mr. Edge. I reinstated the Undertaker. Sorry.”

The crowd erupts. Standing ovation. Spontaneous combustion. Live births. Loving chants. UN-der-TAK-er clap clap clap-clap-clap, UN-der-TAK-er clap clap clap-clap-clap, UN-der-TAK-re clap clap clap-clap-clap.

Edge makes some lame honeymoon proposal. Vickie says “Too bad, so sad. I have a SummerSlam opponent already set for Taker. And it’s you Edge. In a Hell in a Cell Match.” Vickie cackles, Edge cowers, we congratulate. That is a match we want to see.

Post from: EveryJoe

7/25 WWE SmackDown Part Three: The Undertaker Is Back!

Match One
Melina def. Jillian Hall

Melina enters the ring doing her signature full split under the bottom rope and makes Hall submit with a indescribably flexible reverse camel clutch-type thing. Oh. My. Heavens. Beth Phoenix, who was interviewed in character today in the Miami Herald sits at ringside with JR and contributes little.

After the match Y2J and Vince McMahon agree on another Y2J – Shawn Michaels match tonight which puts a huge smile on our face. Then they engage in assorted non sequiturs while Cryme Tyme steals a cheap portrait of Queen Elizabeth II off the wall. Weird stuff.

Segment Grade: C . All of which earned by Melina.

Match Two
Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes def. Paul London and Brian Kendrick.

London and Kendrick do some impressive acrobatics and London even manages to pin Holly for three seconds. Luckily for the champions, the referee is distracted. Holly quickly reverses and punishes London with a vicious Alabama Slam. Match over.

But who is this? Of course, it’s the Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase. Is he going to announce that he’s the new RAW GM like we predicted last week. Is that the announcement? Not at all. He’s announcing that his son Ted DiBiase Jr. is a new RAW roster member. We like second generation stars and are glad to finally see him in the big leagues. Although the “I’m Priceless” catchphrase isn’t our favorite.

Segment Grade: C. Whole lots of yawns tonight.

Picture Source: Wikipedia by mshake3

Post from: EveryJoe

Memorial Day Monday Night Raw: We Want An Announcement!

In other Backlash match bookings the slow buildup between Shawn Michaels and Batista continued on Raw and their match at Backlash has now been officially announced.

In other Raw matches Santino Marella and Carlito defeated tag champs Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes in a non-title match, Paul London and Brian Kendrick topped Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch, Beth Phoenix defeated Maria in singles action, Ashley and Mickie James beat Melina and Jillian, and Umaga decimated Val Venis.

Post from: EveryJoe

Backlash Takes Shape on Raw

Post from: EveryJoe

Raw Results (March 31, 2008)

Post from: EveryJoe

Wrestlemania 24 Match Lineup

Here is a complete list of wrestlers participating in the tri-branded match:

Elijah Burke, Lance Cade, Deuce, Domino, Tommy Dreamer, Jim Duggan, Festus, The Great Khali, Mark Henry, Hardcore Holly, Jesse, Kane, Brian Kendrick, Kofi Kingston, The Miz, Shannon Moore, Trevor Murdoch, Jamie Noble, Chuck Palumbo, Cody Rhodes, Snitsky, Matt Striker, Val Venis and Jimmy Wang Yang.

Post from: EveryJoe

Pre-Wrestlemania 24 Man Battle Royal