Yes, all the Hogan family drama was sketched out by the Man Upstairs. According to Brooke’s remarks via People.com, the Big Guy nixed the first draft of the Hogan Family Portrait and revised the blueprint to make a family that works.

Something like that.

Brooke also claims there’s been some symbolic role-swapping, as the 20-year-old feels like she’s now a parent to her 48-year-old mother. (Hey, with the way her Dad paws her, is it any wonder the poor girl is confused?)

Hmm . . . Does this mean Brooke’s going to forsake sexy Maxim video shoots for mom jeans and a minivan?
 

Post from: EveryJoe

Brooke Hogan on God’s Plan for Her Family

See Brooke Hogan braving on despite her parents’ respective fetishes with her pals.

See Brooke Hogan Run Wild, per Maxim.

Post from: EveryJoe

VIDEO: Brooke Hogan on Maxim

*Pauses to allow readers time for shuddering in horror*

First up is in-need-of-a-vocabulary-brush-up Hulk Hogan, who hopped in the sack with Brooke’s (uh, former) friend Christiane Plante. 

And now Mom Linda Hogan is getting busy with Brooke’s 19-year-old buddy, Charlie Hill.

 Brooke Hogan staring off into the distance, perhaps wondering where she went wrong raising her parents.

Image: Used with permission of www.splashnewslonline.com

We envision the parent-friend introductions like this:

Brooke: “Mom/Dad, this is my friend Chick X/Dude Y.”

Mom/Dad: “Are you available? I mean—nice to meet you.”

Friend: “You’re f***ing hot. I mean—nice to meet you, too.”

Mom/Dad: “Wanna shag me? I mean—Brooke, honey, don’t you have an errand to run?”

And the rest is tabloid history, blog foddah, and therapy bills for poor Brooke.   

Post from: EveryJoe

Why Do Brooke Hogan’s Parents Insist on Bedding Her Friends?

Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling series, with a cast like this, has a good shot at becoming one of those shows.

The Zoner gave us the heads-up on this and at first we thought it was too bad to be true. Alas, it’s as real as Paris Hilton’s dark roots when she came out of the pokey.

Note the could-it-be-any-looser definition of “celebrity” employed here: Dennis Rodman. Todd Bridges. Dustin Diamond (”Screech” from Saved By the Bell). We repeat: Dustin Diamond.

Does this look like someone you’d want to shake hands with, much less wrestle?

Image: Used with permission of www.splashnewsonline.com  

This whole business raises a multitude of questions, two of the most pertinent Dustin Diamond ones being:

1) Why didn’t security at the 15 Minutes of Fame Institute take away his re-entry badge when he left the first time?

2) We know this is two-year-old news, but we still can’t understand why anyone would ever want to get frisky with him, never mind on videotape?

Hulk Hogan, we thank you for the blog foddah-to-be. We knew you wouldn’t stay mad at us for posting that creepy photo of you applying sunscreen to daughter Brooke.

Post from: EveryJoe

“Screech” to Wrestle: AKA Hulk Hogan’s Definition of Celebrity

A) You want a peek at Brooke in a bikini and face down (sorry!) on a lounge chair.

B) You want to assess the Hulk’s lotion-application abilities because it fulfills some kind of weirdo fantasy you have. (Don’t laugh—at least one person falls into that category. Remember the affair he had with Brooke’s former friend Christiane Plante?)

C) The thought of this father-daughter moment somehow grosses you out like it did Perez Hilton, as evidenced by the subtle caption “Creepy” they scribbled across the photo.

D) We did such a great job building up the photo that, rumored cat deaths be damned, curiosity has gotten the best of you.

Still here? Behold, the Hulk helping his little girl ward off the effects of sunlight. Want a different angle of the Hulk’s handywork? Enjoy. 

Post from: EveryJoe

Brooke Hogan, a Bikini, and . . . the Hulk?

(a) Go on 60 Minutes and tell Mike Wallace your side of the story;

(b) Go on The View and make Barbara Walters squirm when you tell your side of the story; or

(c) Write a letter to celebrity gossip site Perez Hilton and tell your side of the story?

Christiane Plante, former um, bodyslamming partner of Hulk Hogan, chose option C. While she ‘fesses up to the affair, she insists she’s sorry—after the fact, like everyone else who gets caught—and that she won’t “milk this 15 minutes of fame for all it’s worth.” (”Which isn’t much,” we feel compelled to add).

She also notes “you won’t even find any pictures of me online,” which—unwittingly or not—sounds like an open invitation to the paparazzi if we ever saw one.

Caption: Is the Hulk praying for forgiveness or for Christiane Plante to just go away?

The former mistress, as it were, is also a (very definitely) former friend of the Hulk’s fame-hungry daughter, Brooke Hogan.  

Not sure about that one, Ms. Plante. It really would have been so much more entertaining to see Barbara Walters stutter and blush if you gave up some juicy details on her show.

Post from: EveryJoe

Hulk Hogan’s Mattress Buddy Tells Her Tale