In no particular order: 

Derek Jeter and Minka Kelly
Hotness: 9.7  Pretty boy + cutie pie=A darn respectable score. 
Likability: 9.0 She OK but hey, he’s a member of the New York Yankees. We’re Boston Red Sox fans. ‘Nuff said.
Endurance Potential: 4.6 Playboy boy + cutie pie=A good time had by all. For a few months anyway.

Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen
Hotness: 9.9 Brady is a doll. Gisele is a supermodel (but we docked her .1  ’cause we think she’s overrated. So there).
Likability: 9.2 We’re all about the New England Patriots, but that Bridget Moynihan baby mama situation was U-G-L-Y. And does anyone really have a sense of Gisele’s personality, anyway?
Endurance Potential: 8.1 These two are jet setters and a paparazzo’s dream, but together forever? Meh, we doubt it.

Marko Jaric and Adriana Lima
Hotness: 9.6 She’s a Victoria’s Secret model (better than Gisele!) and he’s not shabby, either.
Likability: 9.6 She’s a od girl and he’s a good sport.
Endurance Potential: 8.8 They’re engaged, but they haven’t been in the game quite a year yet. We shall see.

David Beckham and Victoria Beckham
Hotness: 9.8 Men’s Health cover boy Beck gets a perfect score; points off for Victoria’s grumpy no-smile policy.
Likability: 9.1 We repeat: Beck gets a perfect score; points off for Victoria’s grumpy no-smile policy.
Endurance Potential: 9.6 They’re solid here, having weathered rumored affairs and dealing with the media. That smokin’ photo shoot they did last year was pretty convincing, too.  

Tony Parker and Eva Longoria
Hotness: 9.7 He’s not too bad and she’s an absolute doll, even with the weight gain and haircut for Desperate Housewives.
Likability: 9.8 He’s a good guy and, TMI tendencies aside, Eva sparkles.
Endurance Potential: 9.4 They’ve survived the rumor mill and crazy schedules. We never say forever in celebrity-land, but they’re A-OK for now.

Dion Phaneuf and Elisha Cuthbert
Hotness: 9.9 No complaints here. Even Elisha likes to check out her own rack.
Likability: 8.3 Maybe if Elisha’s character on 24 hadn’t become so annoying after season 1, we’d give them a higher score.
Endurance Potential: 4.5 Sorry, but PDA aside, Elisha goes through hockey players the way Paris Hilton goes through BFFs. 

Andy Roddick and Brooklyn Decker
Hotness: 9.8 She’s a swimsuit model and he’s a cutie, too, even if we do wish he’d ditch the baseball cap.
Likability: 9.7 We don’t really know her. We do, however, appreciate Andy’s great sense of humor and self-deprecating manner.
Endurance Potential: 8.6 They recently got engaged, but we can’t score them too highly. She’s only 19 and “time will tell” fits these two best.

Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson
Hotness: 9.6 She’s easy on the eyes with classic good looks. He’s not as hot as Tom Brady but is much better looking than Peyton Manning and his putzy little brother, Eli.
Likability: 8.7 Serious deductions here thanks to Jessica’s cheesiness and whining about what people read about her. Further points taken off for her claims to be just like the rest of us.
Endurance Potential: 7.3 Rumors abound about the status of their relationship, which has had more ups and downs than a shot glass in a Warsaw bar. Even if they tie the knot—another source of they will/they won’t rumors—we don’t see it as a forever kind of thing.

Mike Comrie and Hilary Duff
Hotness: 9.4 Decent, but they don’t exactly fog up the camera lens when a shutterbug catches them together.
Likability: 9.7 HD’s long-standing reputation as a good girl is appealing, and the recent interview we read in Allure confirms it. He seems like an OK guy.
Endurance Potential: 8.9 He bought her a Mercedes for her birthday last year, and the Duffster isn’t a serial dater. But forever AND ever?

Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian*
Hotness: 9.0 Reggie is fine. As for Kim, we don’t care what anyone says. We like curves, but her tush is not as great as she thinks it is.
Likability: 8.4 Again, Reggie is fine. Kim’s responsible for the point dip, between a why-does-she-even-have-it reality show and head-scratching fashion choices.
Endurance Potential: 7.6 They appear to fall in that “it’s fun for now” category rather than the “togethah forevah” one.

* Sadly, we had to include these two, despite our reluctance to refer to Kim Kardashian as a “celebrity.” If Lance Armstrong and Kate Hudson hadn’t taken the Last Train to Splitsville recently, they would have been contenders instead.

Quiet, please. The judge is tallying the scores.

And the winners are . . .

GOLD: Tony Parker and Eva Longoria

SILVER: David and Victoria Beckham

BRONZE: Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen

Congratulations to the winners! Everyone else: Better luck in four years. If you’re still a couple.

**************

In the mood for a contest? Check out our post on the Samsung Fun Club summer promotion!

Photo credit: Newscom

Post from: EveryJoe

Awarding Olympic Medals to Athlete-Celebrity Couples

First, he dashed the hopes of teenyboppers and twentysomethings holding out hope that maybe, just maybe, he’d stay in bachelorhood long enough for fate to intervene and throw them into coupledom. Alas, his engagement to Brooklyn Decker changed all of that.

And now, Roddick has alienated a likely small yet no less worthy demographic of his fan base, the NASCAR lovers. Why so? Because he doesn’t see the spectator appeal in a sport where “you turn left for four hours.”

Well, it’s a dis alright. But it in the grand scheme of disses, it could be worse. Remember Tara Reid’s unkind words about former flame Tom Brady following the Super Bowl? Yeah, that was definitely worse.

Post from: EveryJoe

Andy Roddick Disses NASCAR

He has two houses already, but these digs in the Gramercy section of NYC are purportedly the newest addition to his real estate collection. (Other celebrity real estate listings are on that site as well, should you be inclined to see How the Overpaid People in American Culture Live).

So what does Roddick—who’s already fallen victim to the dreaded name blend, he and Brooklyn Decker having been dubbed “Broddick” in some media outlets—have to say about his impending domestic bliss? The Good A-Rod (as opposed to the Evil Empire A-Rod) was so tight-lipped we didn’t learn anything gave an interview to People but clearly prefers talking about tennis rather than his engagement.

Hey Andy, you hooked up with a 20-year-old who makes steamy Sports Illustrated vidoes for YouTube and now she’s going to be the missus. Do you really think the media is going to focus on your tennis? 

Post from: EveryJoe

Where Andy Roddick Beds Brooklyn Decker

In case you needed visual evidence of the case we made for Andy Roddick, here’s a special-for-YouTube 2008 Sports Illustrated video of his swimsuit model fiancee Brooklyn Decker (1m, 13s) on a shoot in Israel.

Warning: If you’re a man, you might need a cold shower after this. If you’re a chick, you might not be in the mood for bathing suit shopping until your memory of this video fades a bit. Unless you’re Brooklyn Decker.

Post from: EveryJoe

No Wonder Andy Roddick Feels Lucky These Days

And Super Bowl aside, European jet-setter Tom Brady had a season for the QB record books. It also marks his first full NFL season with Gisele Bundchen at his side.

Now we can add Andy Roddick to the list of Athletes Who Improved After Getting a Little Something-Something From a Model. Just days after his engagement to swimsuit model Brooklyn Decker, Roddick broke his 11-game losing streak to Roger Federer at the Sony Ericsson Open. (Thanks to The Bee for sharing this!)

By the way, we heart Federer and are bummed to see his 2008 tanking. You know why he’s on a downward slide? Because he’s had the same girlfriend for many years, and she isn’t a model–super, swimsuit, or otherwise.

Please, for the sake of tennis history, could somebody please set him up with Karolina Kurkova?

Post from: EveryJoe

More Proof That Model-Girlfriends Boost Athletic Performance

Anyway, it’s true: The 25-year-old tennis player snagged Brooklyn Decker, a 20-year-old swimsuit model and decided she’s a keeper. Andy Roddick decided to make his cradle-robbing legal popped the question (”Will you marry me?” and not “You mean you’re not even old enough to drink?”—though you’d be forgiven for guessing the latter). 

And we aren’t kidding about “snagged.” People.com reports that he spotted her in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition and had his agent get her number.

We could make some naughty tennis puns about things being “in” and “out” but this is a PG-13 blog. (But if you venture to guess where we’re going with this, who are we to stop you?)

Post from: EveryJoe

Andy Roddick Wins Match . . . At Love