However, with A-Rod publicly commenting for the first time since the July 7 doomsday filing, we couldn’t resist the urge to take another swipe at our least favorite New York Yankee.

People.com ran an article from which we derived these, the top 5 dumb things the All-Star said (via filed documents) about his split from almost-ex Cynthia Rodriguez:

1. He admits that the marriage is irretrievably broken. Um, ya think? Deep thoughts, people, these are deep thoughts.

2. Because Florida is a no-fault state, he whines that C-Rod’s allegations of his extramarital affairs is “immaterial and irrelevant.” Hey, not for bloggers.

3. He argues that their divorce settlement should be determined by their prenup. Just kidding, this isn’t a Dumb Thing. In fact, it’s pretty spot on. Sorry, Cindy.

4. Per People: According to his attorneys, Alan Kluger and Jason Marks, “husband requests that both parties are designated as ‘co-residential’ parents, realizing that the children are likely to spend more time with wife given the realities of husband’s professional life.” We are positive that his baseball duties are the ONLY reason he thinks mom should keep an eye on them most of the time. Why, we can’t even think of another reason.

5. He acknowledges that he should pay child support. See Dumb Thing #1.

Post from: EveryJoe

Top 5 Dumb Things A-Rod Said in Response to His Impending Divorce

The golf legend, who wed tennis great and longtime lover Chris Evert a couple of weeks ago in the Bahamas, has to shell out $103M to the previous Mrs. Greg Norman (of 26 years).

Yeah. You know those Paris shopping spree rumors C-Rod denied in her Cindy Adams chat? Something tells us she’s going to be going on a whole lotta them pretty soon.

Post from: EveryJoe

Greg Norman’s $103M Divorce

Here are some of our favorite nuggets from the article:

• C-Rod told New York Post columnist Cindy Adams that she still loves her husband. What better way to proclaim said love than dishing to a well-known gossip writer?
• She isn’t in the mood to revisit the issue of A-Rod’s infidelities, which she cited as a reason for the divorce. We get it, that’s cool. But apparently this infidelity thing wasn’t a big enough issue last year, post-Mystery Blonde, to put the brakes on babymaking. (They’re youngest child was born April 21, 2008). What better indication of their celebrity than to bring children into an unstable marriage and then use them as weapons in a divorce? See Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards or Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook for reference.
• Nuh-uh, C-Rod says, in response to the Parisian shopping spree and Lenny Kravitz shack-up chatter. She did, however, seek comfort from friends in Paris. Isn’t that where all moms jet off to when the going gets tough? Celebrities and their wives really are just like us!*

* This is an example of “sarcasm” for those of you new to the blog.

Post from: EveryJoe

A-Rod’s Wife Gives the Scoop on Her Divorce

Get ready for a divorce spelled U-G-L-Y. Us Magazine reports that Cynthia Rodriguez, A-Rod’s soon-to-be ex, blames Kabbalah for her husband’s Madonna infatuation. There are also whispers of a do-people-actually-write-things-like-this letter from the MLB star to Madge claiming she’s his soulmate. Oh, sorry. We should have warned you not to drink your coffee until after reading that line in the spirit of Snorted Beverage Syndrome.

Madonna, possible “soulmate” of A-Rod, leaves a Kabbalah center in NYC.

Image: Used with permission of www.splashnewsonline.com  

And unless there’s a nifty prenup in place, C-Rod stands to accumulate a fair amount of rupees in this schadenfreude-fest. Want to know how the other half lives? Check out A-Rod’s estimated worth and what he stands to split with Lenny Kravitz’s purported honey.

P.S. Thanks for the heads-up, Pat!

Post from: EveryJoe

C-Rod on A-Rod: Madonna’s Kabbalah Brainwashed Him

More Stray-Rod drama. Sigh.

Here are the 3 lessons we’ve discerned from the rumors thus far:

1. There’s apparently a hierarchy among flings. Last year, A-Rod’s Toronto babe mishap resulted in a babymaking session with his wife shortly thereafter. But now that Madonna rumors are swirling, it’s the last straw?

2. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. As the NY Post reports, C-Rod (wish we thought of that nickname!) has been making music with Lenny Kravitz in Paris while the Madonna dish has been served all over the gossip columns.

3. Money can’t buy love but it can buy flings. Oh, and messy divorces. (Exhibit A: Christie Brinkley).

We’re headed to the Big Apple this weekend (Yay for The Mercer in SoHo!) for Sundays Sox-Yanks game. We’ll let you know how A-Rod appears to be handling it all.

Post from: EveryJoe

3 Lessons Learned from A-Rod’s Wife Showing Him the Door