After 13 long years…
The wheels of time begin to turn anew.
We’re not counting that “adaptation” we coughed up for Final Fantasy Chronicles because whoa-ho-hoa!
Do not fear. Lessons have since been learned.
Sakaguchi’s Torture Room is a harsh mistress.
A harsh, leather-clad mistress that makes my loins grow warm—
(Sounds of shuffling and a scuffle. From afar, a muted command: “Someone unchain the intern and put him to work. This trailer was supposed to be translated two days ago.”)
…
…When I’m sleep-deprived, I make up conspiracy theories.

Square-Enix’s Japanese website for Chrono Trigger DS has stopped doing the ticky-ticky thing. In its place is a video with some footage of the SNES classic. Gasp! Faint! Be amazed!

Dear Square-Enix:
I was wrong. I beg your forgiveness and grovel at your feet in thanks for correcting me with the very sound that’s more comforting than my own mother’s heartbeat.
I await your punishment, but I know you are a merciful God and will thus spare the metal-studded cat-o’-nine-tails.
Right?
(Image copyright Square-Enix)

It’s probably not as likely as you think.
But we can dream.
In the interest of fostering false hopes, the Internets has been passing around this “photo” of a press release announcing Chrono Trigger DS. Fans with the ability to stumble over moon language have unraveled vague, spidery hints for a Fall 2008 release date.
I feel like a defeated mother. Go on. Go spread your little lies about a Chrono Trigger re-release. I’ll just sit here and weave my own noose while crying bitterly. Don’t worry about me.
More on this later if it’s not just a rumour or a code name for …read more