Kofi Kingston def. Paul Birchill
Mickie James def. Katie Lea Birchill

Segment One
New GM Mike Adamle is getting some major heat! A lot more than I ever imagined…then he compares himself to Ronald Reagan and equates the Gipper’s work with Bonzo the chimp to announcing with Tazz. OK, he really compared Bonzo to calling Jeff Hardy Jeff Harvey. I like the Tazz comparison better.

It seems the inept one might be turning the crowd after announcing three title matches on tonight’s show. OK, this isn’t is bad. The first is Batista and John Cena vs. Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase, Jr. I guess that’s interesting.

Before he can announce another match JBL and Y2J join him in suits claiming they deserve title matches. Yap, yap, yap, yap. Debate, debate, debate, debate.

C’mon Adamle, take some control! This is getting out of hand. He gives a lame compromise: JBL and Y2J vs. CM Punk in a handicap match. If they win they get Punk at SummerSlam, lose then no title match at the Slam. The Adamle era is off to a blah start.

Segment Two
Kofi Kingston is facing Paul Birchill in a defense of the Intercontinental Title, the first of tonight’s championship bouts. Kofi’s impressive athleticism is on display from the get go with some great defensive leaps. Katie Lea Birchill goes ringside to taunt Kofi and Kingston aims a boot to her face which misses.

Kingston gains control of the match with a great series of power moves before he finishes Birchill off with his familiar series of closing moves which culminates with a Trouble in Paradise. Kofi has really stepped his game up and has grown into a good champion.

Segment Three
It’s now Katie Lea’s turn to lose a title match as Mickie James rushes into the ring to destroy the deliciously trashy Briton. James looks good with a Neckbreaker and finally earns the pin after hitting a nice Mickie-DT.

After the match Beth Phoenix blindsides the women’s champ indicating a thankful end to the James-Birchill feud and a restart to the rivalry between the WWE’s best two female grapplers. Good news.

Segment Four
Santino Marella and Beth Phoenix’s love affair is heating up with some TV-PG butt touching and in a post-match segment they discuss SummerSlam with Adamle and beg for title matches. Mike obliges them both: a tag team winner-take-all match between James and Kingston and Phoenix and Marella. Not great, but not bad.

Post from: EveryJoe

8/4/08 RAW Part One: Mike Adamle = Ronald Reagan?

Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes def. Cryme Tyme
This match lasts 12 seconds. I am not kidding. It takes Vince McMahon longer to dial the next Million Dollar winner’s number. She can’t stop telling Vince how wonderful is, how much she loves him, and how she thinks he’s the most handsome person in the world.

Image details: China Celebrates Valentine’s Day served by picapp.com

Paul Birchill and Katie Lea def. Mr. Kennedy and Mickie James
I enjoy all four of these wrestlers but am distracted and disturbed by the crawl reminding us to buy Ted DiBiase’s book, the WWE Kids magazine, WWE Diva ringtones, The Rock’s DVD (I do want that) and to register for next week’s Million Dollar Madness. This lottery farce is continuing next week! Maybe this week’s ratings will be down again and that will end it.

I like Katie Lea as a wrestler despite her tall awkwardness and her second pin in as many weeks of the WWE Women’s champ must mean something. She’s a convincingly vile heel, her myspace tag is dawgkilla, and I think her rivalry with James might have more legs than her “brother’s” saga with Mr. Kennedy. Kennedy has bigger and better things in his future.

Triple H def. Chris Jericho by DQ
Before tonight’s Main Event Frank from New Jersey wins $300K and tells Vince that he loves him. He had to have been prepped.

The match has started and Jericho has a quizzical probing look on his face. He’s trying to solve the puzzle that is Triple H. We suggest hair conditioner. Triple H viciously tosses Y2J into the ring post and Jericho grabs his shoulder. “Is he OK?” we wonder as the newly born match goes to commercial.

He must be. We return to see him put some damage to HHH via a kick to the head, an elbow to the face, and a slam into the steel chair. Jericho’s rage is getting the best of him as he recklessly walks into a HHH clothesline and knee to the face. Has the match turned?

Jericho can’t complete the Walls of Jericho (see left) and is hit with a Double-Edged Spine Buster and then a Pedig…no! Y2J counters but misses with a high risk Lionsault. HHH goes for the Pedigree again but Jericho counters again. The fight is getting good outside of the ring when Lance Cade, of all people, runs into the ring, assaults HHH, and the match is stopped.

John Cena shows up and all four start brawling. This is a disappointing turn of events. In the midst of it all Jericho puts HHH out with a Codebreaker showing what could have happened in the match had Cade stayed out of it all.

Post from: EveryJoe

WWE RAW 6/16 I Love You Vince McMahon

Match One
Melina def. Jillian Hall

Melina enters the ring doing her signature full split under the bottom rope and makes Hall submit with a indescribably flexible reverse camel clutch-type thing. Oh. My. Heavens. Beth Phoenix, who was interviewed in character today in the Miami Herald sits at ringside with JR and contributes little.

After the match Y2J and Vince McMahon agree on another Y2J – Shawn Michaels match tonight which puts a huge smile on our face. Then they engage in assorted non sequiturs while Cryme Tyme steals a cheap portrait of Queen Elizabeth II off the wall. Weird stuff.

Segment Grade: C . All of which earned by Melina.

Match Two
Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes def. Paul London and Brian Kendrick.

London and Kendrick do some impressive acrobatics and London even manages to pin Holly for three seconds. Luckily for the champions, the referee is distracted. Holly quickly reverses and punishes London with a vicious Alabama Slam. Match over.

But who is this? Of course, it’s the Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase. Is he going to announce that he’s the new RAW GM like we predicted last week. Is that the announcement? Not at all. He’s announcing that his son Ted DiBiase Jr. is a new RAW roster member. We like second generation stars and are glad to finally see him in the big leagues. Although the “I’m Priceless” catchphrase isn’t our favorite.

Segment Grade: C. Whole lots of yawns tonight.

Picture Source: Wikipedia by mshake3

Post from: EveryJoe

Memorial Day Monday Night Raw: We Want An Announcement!

The Setup\\r\\nThere\\\’s some big bad out-of-control bullying going on. For the third(!) week in a row RAW General Manager William Regal is angry about being disrespected. This time, instead of turning out the lights, he\\\’s kicking out a random pair in the audience. Miraculously, he picks out Mickie James\\\’ brother and sister to toss. Evidently they\\\’ve made the trek to Detroit from Richmond, Va. Gas prices be damned.\\r\\n\\r\\nMickie James doth protest the ejection. After she balks at her own Regal-dictated dismissal he angrily tells her \\\”What part of get out of the ring don\\\’t you understand?\\\” (Nominee #1 for best line of the night) Who will help poor Mickie? Will her recently-earned title be stripped?\\r\\n\\r\\nNo sir. John Cena\\\’s unmistakable \\\”The Time is Now\\\” theme music chimes in. Chivalry is not dead. John Cena is back. Thank heavens. He speaks for all WWE fans when he tells Regal he\\\’s gone over the line. Regal reminds us that Vince McMahon supported him last week.\\r\\n\\r\\nCena quickly retorts, \\\”Vince McMahon is insane. He talks to himself. A lot\\\” (Nominee #2) and then proceeds to read some hilarious anti-Regal emails. Our favorite comes from Logan from Portland \\r\\n\\r\\n\\\”(Regal\\\’s light turning off) is bad. WCW Thunder bad.\\\” (Nominee #3)\\\” He wants a mandated arena chant \\\”Fire regal clap clap clapclapclap. Fire Regal clap clap clapclapclap.\\\” Cena\\\’s comedic timing is perfect. We have missed him a great deal. He\\\’ll face Randy Orton tonight in the main event. Regal guarantees no interference. We can\\\’t wait. A+ intro\\r\\n\\r\\nEarly Fireworks\\r\\nBefore we can catch our commercial breath the broadcast jumps straight into a tag team title match between the team of Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes facing Santino Marella and Carlito. Rowdy Roddy Piper is sitting at ringside ready to stir up his growing beef with Marella. Marella mouths off to Piper regularly enough to drop the match for his team. Lose the dead weight Santino and fight the Rodster. Everyone loves personality. Segment Grade: C+\\r\\n\\r\\nMr. Kennedy is grappling next. He repeats his name about thirty times. He\\\’s fighting Snitsky, who is like Kane only without the effusive personality and paler. We wish he were facing the guy in the front row dressed like Hulk Hogan. Kennedy wins proving that brown teeth and lily white skin do not equate to a promising pro wrestling career. Segment Grade: D\\r\\n\\r\\nWe were right. The Santino-Roddy brawl is a-brewing and Santino is ready. \\\”Roddy the piper. this is not the 80\\\’s. Michael J. Fox is not going back in time to become a werewolf. (Nominee #4) Rodney the piper I\\\’m a coming after you.\\\” Also brewing, a Mickie James – John Cena romance. Cena\\\’s going out for drinks with her after the match but as he explains \\\”you go out with me, sometimes it\\\’s a wild night.\\\” We can imagine. Segments Grade: B\\r\\n\\r\\n Part One, The Glorious Return of John Cena\\r\\nPart Two, The Glorious Return of Jeff Hardy\\r\\nPart Three, The Glorious Return of the Steel Cage\\r\\n\\r\\nPhoto Source: Newscom.com\\r\\n\\r\\n

Post from: EveryJoe

Monday Night Raw: The Glorious Return of John Cena

In other Backlash match bookings the slow buildup between Shawn Michaels and Batista continued on Raw and their match at Backlash has now been officially announced.

In other Raw matches Santino Marella and Carlito defeated tag champs Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes in a non-title match, Paul London and Brian Kendrick topped Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch, Beth Phoenix defeated Maria in singles action, Ashley and Mickie James beat Melina and Jillian, and Umaga decimated Val Venis.

Post from: EveryJoe

Backlash Takes Shape on Raw

Post from: EveryJoe

Raw Results (March 31, 2008)

Post from: EveryJoe

Wrestlemania 24 Match Lineup

Here is a complete list of wrestlers participating in the tri-branded match:

Elijah Burke, Lance Cade, Deuce, Domino, Tommy Dreamer, Jim Duggan, Festus, The Great Khali, Mark Henry, Hardcore Holly, Jesse, Kane, Brian Kendrick, Kofi Kingston, The Miz, Shannon Moore, Trevor Murdoch, Jamie Noble, Chuck Palumbo, Cody Rhodes, Snitsky, Matt Striker, Val Venis and Jimmy Wang Yang.

Post from: EveryJoe

Pre-Wrestlemania 24 Man Battle Royal