On to the story:

When Scott and I lived in St. Thomas (yes, the Virgin Islands. Jealous much?), we were regular weekend features at Iggie’s Beach Bar. Conveniently located at the bottom of the cliff we lived on, it was walking distance from home; it also served the best portobello mushroom fries on the planet and had karaoke every Saturday night. They don’t call it paradise for nothing, folks!

Typically, I got my fill of tropical rum drinks during the week (that’s a whole ‘nother blog!), but my weekends were reserved for long neck bottles of beer, usually of the Coors Light variety. Our waitresses were trained to keep the buckets coming. We’re from Texas, see, where beer has the highest allowable alcohol content in the nation. Many a night we were amused by the stunned faces of the other patrons to see the number of buckets of beer Scott and I could put away and still sing our asses off on stage. And then walk home after!

One night, however, I startled both the waitress and my husband by shaking things up. I had noticed a sign change on the wall across from our regular table (stop judging me) and was intrigued. Cruzan Rum, a favorite in the islands, was advertising their new Voodoo Juice–a scrumptious-sounding concoction of 4 flavored rums, dark rum and (a minuscule amount, I’m sure) fruit juices. It was all served up in a really kicky plastic pail with spears of fruit chunks and little parasols. I wanted one, and would not be satisfied until I had it.

It was so freakin’ good! In another setting, at another time, I never would have believed there was even any alcohol in it. That, my friends, is the evil design. I was amused by the pail and its adornments and sipped it with abandon. I wasn’t even bothered by the $12 price tag!

It just so happened that this particular night wasn’t just any old karaoke, but a karaoke contest hosted by VI’s own Pirate Radio!! Fueled by my liquid courage, I got up and sang my heart out. My first song choice that evening was Tricia Yearwood’s “That’s What I Like About You”. Naturally I rocked the house (countried the house just doesn’t sound right) and returned to my seat, convinced I’d won the contest.

Scott sang brilliantly and others sang so-so, but I was not to be swayed in my confidence. So confident was I, in fact, that when the waitress came by and asked if Scott would like another beer, I butted in and ordered another bucket of bolstering. “Um, really?” was the waitresses response… or so I’ve been told. Scott looked at me and said “Honey, are you sure?”. Well of course I was sure! I know the difference between sure and not sure.

Yeah.

Right.

The remainder of the night only returns to me in oily flashbacks whenever I see a rum bottle. As told to me later (much, much later), I got up on stage one more time. Before the music started, I even made an announcement:

“A shong sho nice, I’m shingin’ it twishce.”

And I did. A memorable rendition of the same song, that would probably get me kicked out of Tricia Yearwood’s fan club. (Ms. Yearwood, I hope you understand it was the rum. I’m very, VERY sorry. And please tell Garth I said hi!)

Needless to say, I didn’t win.

How Scott managed to get me back up the hill I’ll never really know. He said I stayed funny right up until the point the puking began, and then we both lost all humor. It didn’t help that by the time I woke the next afternoon I was absolutely miserable with pain and a mango aftertaste that I just couldn’t shake.

And the capper? Both of my hard-earned plastic pails were left sitting on the table at Iggie’s. All things considered, I nearly cried when I realized this. I really wanted to blame Scott, but I’m just not that cruel. It’s not like he didn’t already have his hands full!

The moral of the story? Rum is the devil’s swill and to be avoided at all costs.

Story courtesy of feathermaye and image by Svenstorm

Post from: EveryJoe

Weekly Feature: Drinking Stories

2/20 – Tony Stewart has worked out a deal with Old Spice that will give fans the opportunity to bid in public auction for the Old Spice towel Stewart wears into Victory Lane everytime he wins a race in either the Sprint Cup or Nationwide Series this year. The towel will, of course, be autographed and proceeds will go to the Tony Stewart Foundation.  Read More.

2/21 – The Petty family has recently announced the opening of a second Victory Junction Gang Camp, which will be located in Wyandotte County in Kansas.  Read More.

2/21 – DishNet has signed on for a second year with Roush Racing in 2008 and will serve as the primary sponsor in 15 Sprint Cup races between Greg Biffle (11 races), Carl Edwards (3 races), and Matt Kenseth (1 race).  Read More.

2/21 – DEI recently announced that their 01 Sprint Cup Series car driven by Regan Smith will carry Coors Light as their primary sponsor for the next two races at California and Las Vegas.  Read More.

2/22 – Robby Gordon Motorsports has appealed the penalties handed down by NASCAR for rule infractions that occurred during Daytona Speedweeks. While Robby isn’t very hopeful of getting NASCAR to drop the points hit altogether, they are trying to at least reduce the 100 points that the sanctioning body has hit them with.  Read More.

2/22 – In a recent survey, NASCAR fans have voted that the Toyota commercial in which the kids are controlling the cars via remote control is the best new ad of the 2008 season.  Read More.

2/22 – Richard Childress Racing teammates Jeff Burton and Clint Bowyer apparently had a confrontation with one another following last Sunday’s Daytona 500, reportedly because each driver felt they didn’t receive enough help in the closing laps from the other.  Read More.

2/22 – The newly-formed partnership between International Speedway Corporation and the Automobile Club of Southern California has sparked the renaming of California Speedway to what is now the Auto Club Speedway of Southern California.  Read More.

2/22 – After Earl Pearson Jr. had to be cut from his car following an accident in a dirt late model race for Bobby Labonte Racing in Barberville, FL, Bobby Labonte has begun taking several safety measures to ensure the safety in his rides.  Read More.

2/22 – Rain has caused NASCAR to cancel qualifying for all three of their series’ races this weekend at California. Each of the series will line their cars up based on owner points.  Read More.

Post from: EveryJoe

Saturday Morning Quick Fix