Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo in the (no pun intended) sack. What’s it like?

Alas, the crossover country singer leaves little to the imagination. Thanks to an interview with people, the whole English-speaking world knows that she . . . passes gas under the sheets.

Jessica Simpson sings and toots. 

Image: Used with permission of www.newscom.com

Oh, don’t give us that look. First of all, you know that we try to stay PG-13 on this blog. Second, it’s not like you already knew that or anything. Put that trivia to good use and compare it to Eva Longoria’s TMI quote concerning her bodily functions vis-a-vis Tony Parker. 

Post from: EveryJoe

So THAT’s What Jessica Simpson Does to Tony Romo in Bed

A. She says stupid things on television, be it an interview or, once upon a time, any one of numerous head-scratching moments from “Newlyweds.”

B. She says stupid things during interviews with magazines.

C. She says stupid things during concerts.

D. As if “All of the Above” isn’t the obvious answer.

Yes, the answer is D, but let’s focus on choice C for a moment.

First, she proclaimed her “retirement” from pop concerts during her country debut. A bright and shiny dunce cap in fuchsia goes to anyone who believes that prediction.

Second, in addition to getting cheesier than a Vermont dairy farm during the concert, quarterback Tony Romo’s squeeze noted how she’s “just like” the rest of us.

Jessica Simpson opening her mouth . . . and that’s not always a good thing. 

Image: Used with permission of www.splashnewsonline.com  

We were all over that idiotic remark the other day. Papa Joe Simpson’s oldest meal ticket daughter is not like us (or any non-celeb) for a lot of reasons, and now we can add an extended clothing line and a quarter-billion dollar shoe enterprise to the list.

Here’s what we think: Jessica Simpson’s next venture should be Pepto Bismol knock-offs. Why? To alleviate the nausea induced by those asinine I’m-one-of-you comments. Plus, it would be a hoot-and-a-half to see her do a presser describing Pepto’s active ingredient, bismuth subsalicylate.

Post from: EveryJoe

Jessica Simpson Furthers Her Case on Why She’s “Just Like” Us, Which Makes Us Nauseous

Here’s a Jessica Simpson quote from her Saturday night country music concert debut in Wisconsin. Despite our self-proclaimed foodie status, we aren’t able to identify precisely what kind of cheese Simpson employs in this dedication to Dallas Cowboys QB Tony Romo, but a curdled dairy product it is indeed:

“He throws a football and he’s really really good at it. He is my better tomorrow and I wrote this song for him. It’s called You’re My Sunday.”

Speaking of Sundays, we know more than one Dallas fan who hopes Simpson steers clear of Romo on just about every one from September through February.

Is Jessica Simpson’s come hither look met with a “stay there” by country fans? 

Image: Used with permission of www.splashnewsonline.com

We’re not done yet! 

OK now, cue the pukey-syrupy music and envision Jessica Simpson saying the following actual quote, per People.com:

“I don’t know what your perception is of Jessica Simpson or what tabloid you buy, but I just want you to know that I’m just a girl from Texas; I’m just like you. I’m doing what I love and dating a boy.”

Yeah! You are just like us, Jess! Except that you:

a) are a millionaire;

b) are dating a millionaire;

c) have lucrative endorsement contracts;

d) have your own clothing and fragrance lines;

e) are launching your own lingerie line;

f) have an agent, personal stylist, personal trainer, personal hairdresser, and personal assistant.

Oh, Jess, and since you’re taking a poll, we judge you by your own words when you grant interview to mags. We read Glamour and Allure (neither of which are tabloids) as well as several entertainment blogs on b5 and elsewhere.

Are you writing a marketing paper or somethin’? ‘Cause between our MBA with a focus in marketing and our freelance editing work, we might be able to help you get an A.

Post from: EveryJoe

Jessica Simpson’s Inner Cheeseball Emerges During Concert, Bloggers Everywhere Rejoice

Did you just raise your eyebrow and think, “Really?” ‘Cause that’s what we did when we discovered that Tony Romo’s blonder, lingerie-hawking half wasn’t laughed out of Nashville.

Jessica Simpson, possibly laughing and on her way to the bank, following the success of her country single.

Image: Used with permission of www.splashnewsonline.com

But while country fans are embracing her music, PETA is trashing her wardrobe. Because of that little red shirt Simpson wore while out with Romo, PETA is getting scarily controlling and bossy claiming she has no right—yes, you read that correctly—to eat meat.

Anyone else smell a future Simpson pop country tune all about enjoying country ribs?

Post from: EveryJoe

Believe It or Not, Jessica Simpson’s Country Single Is a Hit