Awww, the jackass in the apartment next to me keeps barbecuing delicious steak dinners on his balcony, and the smell floats into my bedroom—er, my office. He is too deranged for me to safely ask to share, so I’ll have to get my own dinner. Unfortunately, I forgot to thaw anything to cook for tonight, so it looks like I’ll be striking out to follow the Subway or Pizza Hut herds like the urban Neanderthal that I am.

A brand new hump day means a brand new Zero Punctuation. This week, the breathless critic Yahtzee takes on not a game, but its culture; namely, gaming webcomics.

Though Yahtzee has something nasty to say to anyone who Thinks They Can Be a Webcomic Artist™ (Mega Man sprite-rippers especially included), the video was put together for the specific purpose of bashing the inexplicably popular Ctrl+alt+del.

Every Tom, Dick and Nobody has had something to say about the comic since the early arrival of the bouncing baby—by which I mean the near-transparent beginnings of a baby that bounced out of Lilah’s uterus and onto the floor.

(This terrible metaphor is brought to you by my attempt to match the worst thing Yahtzee’s ever drawn. How’s my driving? 1-800-666-6666.)

I’ve already stood up and yelled my opinion on Ctrl+alt+del’s boneless attempt at drama, but I’ve since decided that the arc was truly nauseating instead of merely irritating. The writing was terrible; how many times do you need your characters to mouth off about how devastated they are? Your girlfriend lost a baby, Main Character. I don’t expect you to throw a pizza party.

Ach, well, Yahtzee is far more entertaining and filthy than I, so go ahead and leave me for nursery-yellow wit.

Post from: EveryJoe

Yahtzee Versus Gaming Webcomics

I’ve never been a fan of Tim Buckley’s Ctrl+Alt+Del, but I’ve never hated it, either. Regardless, Buckley’s much-publicised attempt to inject real-life drama into his middle-of-the-road comic about gamers who sit on the couch and natter about Playstation leaves me weary and a little dizzy.

(Or maybe I just ate some bad tomatoes.)

The scrutinised story arc begins here, but for those of you who are members of Club TL;DR, here’s the gist: The main character, whose name is apparently Ethan, is experiencing a miscarriage through his fiancee, Lilah (according to her online bio, she’s a girl gamer and apparently they’re part of a rare alien species or something).

There are two main reasons why this arc is making people jump up and down like oversexed gorillas. Pen #1 houses the seething masses of the “offended”, who think that Buckley is making fun of what’s admittedly a touchy topic. The comic has unearthed a lot of shared stories about friends and family who had miscarriages, as well as firm opinions on how it’s not something to make light of.

This is true, but Buckley’s not making fun of miscarriage. I’m speaking as someone whose mother miscarried twice (and here’s a semi-funny, semi-horrible story to go along with it: When my mother was pregnant with her last attempt, she told me to turn off Zelda II: The Adventure Of Link because I was playing it endlessly and she claimed the music was going to drive her to a miscarriage. Sho’ nuff…).

In fact, I don’t see how anyone could even mistake the arc for anything like humour. Buckley, lacking confidence in his reader base’s ability to absorb the emotion behind the event, makes sure that the characters talk about how devastated they are.

So this shuffles me into Pen #2: I don’t like this arc because it’s all about cheap, loud drama. I feel bad when human beings miscarry, even if I don’t know them very well. I don’t feel bad for Buckley’s characters because they’re nowhere close to human.

The vacant expressions and permanent lockjaw are only part of the problem. I’m not saying it’s impossible to have a gaming comic wherein the characters are human beings I can relate to, but it doesn’t happen often. Penny Arcade is simply about Gabe and Tycho saying crazy shit about the latest games, and it works. It works really well. In fact, the little traits that those two exhibit on occasion—like Gabe’s childlike love for Pokemon and Dirty Dancing or Tycho’s questionable obsession with giraffes—defines them both far better than a thousand story arcs about dead babies.

It’s also very bad storytelling to decide, “Okay, this arc is getting too serious,” and cut away to completely unrelated comedy relief.

The world is full of bad shit and sad events, but that doesn’t mean drama is right for you or your webcomic. Please consult your doctor and a tribunal of neutral critics before attempting such an undertaking.

(Ethan image copyright Tim Buckley and Ctrl+Alt+Del.)

Post from: EveryJoe

Videogame Webcomics Are Serious Business