Over at my totally awesome Playstation Blog, I transcribed my fruitless journey to find Rhapsody: A Musical Adventure for the Nintendo DS. I tried a few different stores, but nobody within knew how to spell “rhapsody,” nor were they accepting of my help. One bright fellow did take out his iPod and consult his playlist for “Rhapsody,” as in “Bohemian.”

I could go on about the uselessness of help these days, but in the end it turned out the game is only shipping today and not in July as I first believed, so I have proven once again that I am in fact a moron.

I’ll be playing Rhapsody: A Musical Adventure for work purposes. I’m intrigued by it. It seems to be formulated with girls in mind; I wouldn’t know, since I missed the PSOne version of the game (Legend of Legaia burned me on PSOne RPGs for a long, long time, as did the theft of my precious Suikoden II. RIP). But word has it that Rhapsody is a pretty light affair, easily bolted down within five to ten hours. After slogging through Final Fantasy IV DS I can use something light and airy to guide me into DragonQuest IV.

I consulted Wikipedia and saw that the original game didn’t garner much love among critics, but I doubt any of them have fantasised about having a concert with Princess Fluffypants and her Horsie Brigade. I’m of a different breed.

Post from: EveryJoe

I’m Going To Play Rhapsody: A Musical Adventure

If you’re Japanese…you’re probably not reading this rag-blog. Either way, you get in early 2009! Square-Enix’s big man, Yoichi Wada, said in an interview with Jiji Press that DQ IX is coming fast.

Post from: EveryJoe

DragonQuest IX In Early 2009! If You’re Japanese.

Jeremy Parish over at Gamespite seems to have discovered one of DragonQuest IV’s most magical moments: Playing as Taloon the merchant.

(Or as Parish labeled the chubby little moneymaker, “The Merchant of Menace.” But he isn’t, really.)

Parish doth say:

“You probably already know this, but Torneko’s chapter isn’t about saving the world or anything, although he does eventually become caught up in the game’s bigger plotline, which does indeed involve saving the world from grim and certain disaster. But he starts out as a simple, unassuming merchant, a modest family man seeking to make his fortune in the world by traveling the deadly wastes to find somewhere to set up his shop. Much of his story, I’ve found, involves going to work every day and trading with a steady stream of customers, slowly building up his earnings until he can afford to buy the gear necessary to strike out on his own and find success. Every once in a while, you’ll get lucky and someone will come trade a phenomenally expensive item which nets Torneko a huge commission… but mostly slow and steady does it.

“It’s not very exciting, and I feel like I should hate the repetitive randomness of the whole process, but I’m really enjoying it. Torneko’s nine-to-five is a welcome counterpoint to the usual monster-slaying and level-grinding of console RPGs, and Torneko himself is incredibly likable despite having no dialogue whatsoever. He’s a stout fellow with a loving family and a hometown rife with Cockney accents, for some reason, and such is the nature of Dragon Quest’s minimalist style that these minor attributes are sufficient to make him thoroughly endearing. I’m starting to understand why this series is such a monster in its native land.”

I played DragonQuest IV when it was all up on my NES and known as Dragon Warrior IV. Many years have passed and I have put many RPGs under my belt (as well as pies) but my affinity for Torneko/Taloon/Torneko Taloon never left me.

It’s true that you begin Taloon’s quest behind a shop counter. For once you learn what it’s like to deal with the jerkface heroes whose roles you fill in most RPGs.

“I’ll take the leather armour and the bamboo stick…no, you know what, I want the club and the clothes. Can you give me ten percent off? I know the manager.”

It might say something about fantasy RPGs when we say it’s refreshing to play as a portly merchant who goes off to work every day after his wife packs him a lunch. I mean, nobody plays Final Fantasy VII because they want to take on the role of a Shinra salaryman, but change is a good thing once in a while.

Consider that Taloon’s role remains memorable even after so many years. C’mon Squeenix, let’s get some glory-destined toilet scrubbers in your hero roster.

Post from: EveryJoe

Sympathy for Taloon

So where from does that picture of Trevor Belmont hail? I scanned it from an old issue of Nintendo Power for nostalgia purposes.

(I also scanned it so you can all see the monstrous package that fathered the famed vampire-hunting clan, because wow, Nintendo.)

Nintendo Power is a holdover from those near-ancient halcyon days when 8 bits ruled our lives and the playground. Everyone had a subscription, meaning that a game previewed in Nintendo Power was an instant sell. Developers reportedly performed some desperate acts to get a feature in Nintendo Power. Desperate, shady acts involving kittens and eating.

It’s the nature of humanity to grow up and become less naive about the world around it (ducking under a desk will not save you from a nuclear attack, I’m afraid, but you’ll fuse with the object and become one with the education system forever). Now we laugh at the “reviews” Nintendo Power published. In fact, the magazine still retains a reputation for being Nintendo’s pet whore, which is unfair: it’s actually developed into extremely high-quality magazine and I’d kill the lot of you for a chance to write for it. The previews and retrospectives in this month’s issue have only strengthened my resolve and now a pointy reckoning is hidden under my mattress.

Between Nintendo Power’s sun-warmed July pages lies an extensive preview for Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia, Igarashi’s upcoming title for the DS. There’s some gorgeous high-res artwork here, which is something that game news websites just don’t deliver much of. After the preview comes a retrospective, also loaded with artwork, including some of Ayami Kojima’s finest character pieces and murals. Happily, the article does not ignore Castlevania titles that were not released on Nintendo systems, as Nintendo Power Castlevania retrospectives have done in the past.

(I’m also glad to see that Castlevania 64 was not utterly trashed by Igarashi. Yeah, it was kind of bad, but Konami really, really tried.)

…I’m also never going to get used to Simon Belmont as a baby-faced redhead. Sorry Kojima, it’s not happening. He’s supposed to be buff.

The Castlevania material is exciting on its own, but what really pushes this issue over the edge is another in-depth preview/retrospective for DragonQuest, which is still known as Dragon Warrior in some corners of North America. DragonQuest IV, DragonQuest V and DragonQuest VI are all being remade for the DS and I’m advising you right now to stay off the road when that happens, because I’m going to make like a human torpedo to the game store.

DragonQuest V is one of the deepest RPGs ever developed. There is just something so compelling about a game that starts the main character off adventuring alongside his dad, then growing up, then getting married and having children who also grow up to adventure alongside their Pop. It’s one thing to walk on an overhead map with your usual assortment of adventurers and magic-wielders. It’s another thing entirely to walk on an overhead map while being trailed by your little offspring.

(Oh and did I mention you can recruit monsters as party members? And that DragonQuest IV DS will be updating the party system so you can have the typical four-member party rather than the restrictive three-member party in the original game?)

If you see this issue at your local book depository, it’s more than worth picking up. It’s also worth considering a subscription to Nintendo Power, which is something like twenty bucks for a year.

Please do it. I really don’t want to see printed game media die. I’m a dinosaur who’s scared of this strange new world. They grind down people like me to make Hummers go zoom.

(Image copyright Nintendo Power)

Post from: EveryJoe

Nintendo Power Then (Awesome) and Now (Awesome)