For the past 10 days pretty much every talk show and “special report” has gushed over what a great thing it was that Iran held an election.

Initial reports of fraud and violence associated with the election were couched with disclaimers like “we heard it on Twitter but have no way of confirming if this kind of thing is actually happening” or “those could be screams of joy coming from the opposition voters.”

When videos started surfacing on the Internet of burned out colleges and bloodied protesters, the qualified reporting continued as we were advised that “it looks like this bombed out building might possibly be a college room” and “hey, it appears as if that dude’s brains are falling out on to the street due to a beating, although maybe he just slipped and hit his head while rejoicing over the election.”

And, oh, the surprise this weekend on the Sunday morning news shows when everyone noted things had taken a “disturbing” turn.

Hey, pundits… “Disturbing” is when someone’s talking too loud on their cell phone. When the secret police start bludgeoning people, “deadly” might be a more accurate term.

Can we all take a moment and remind ourselves that, if you have an election and then shoot people when you don’t like the results, it really doesn’t count as any kind of major step toward democracy?

Let’s also take a moment to remind ourselves of the wisdom of the following definition of democracy: “Democracy is two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.”

That definition highlights the fact that a political system based on anything other than individual rights is simply a crackdown waiting to happen.

To listen to the CNN anchors and ABC panelists, you’d think there was no way you could have predicted any of this just because the president of Iran is a bat-shit crazy lunatic and he reports to a cleric whose idea of progress is letting people older than 16 listen to music.

While we’re at it, can someone explain to me when it became taboo to call out a bunch of dictatorial thugs? When they weren’t expressing amazement about the opposition party getting crushed, the talking heads were all lauding President Obama for taking a low-key approach.

Because we wouldn’t want to rile anyone up.

Right. Whatever you do, don’t call Ahmadinejad a thug, because then he might snap and go completely nuts.

I get that you may not want to send in U.S. troops, but for crissakes, at least have the balls to say something.

Oooh, but we don’t want to appear to be meddling.

That was pretty much the same strategy we adopted with North Korea and now surf shops in Maui are selling Coppertone SPF 8000 while they wait for another wacky dictator to holler “Surf’s up!” and launch a nuclear warhead toward the 50th State.

Instead of worrying about a guy who doesn’t believe the Holocaust happened or a holy man who thinks exposing the bridge of a woman’s nose justifies imprisonment, maybe we could start worrying about all the people who will be rightfully pissed off when they or their family members are imprisoned or shot.

I’m sure those brave people will be excited that, when they pointed the cameras at the freest country in the world for moral support and a comment on the crimes taking place in Iran, the best we could do was to mug at the camera and say, “Hi, Mom!”

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Here, America. Have some balls…
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Image: Zuma Press

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Post from: EveryJoe

Nice Election, Ayatolla-hole

Not Sure I Actually Still Have Two Cents…

The Senate has passed the latest Wall Street bailout costing $700 billion.  That’s a lot of money.  That’s like what Meg Ryan spends on collagen.

The Securities and Exchange Commission has temporarily banned short-selling, the practice of making TV commercials featuring Gary Coleman.

You can breathe a sigh of relief now because it looks like the crisis gripping our nation is ending.  No, the stock and credit markets aren’t settling down.  More important: Microsoft is pulling those Bill Gates-Jerry Seinfeld ads.

The U.S. Mint has unveiled new designs for the penny to celebrate the 200th anniversary of Lincoln’s birth and the fact that a penny is what your savings is now worth.

Two-thirds of U.S. corporations and foreign corporations doing business in the U.S. paid no federal income taxes between 1998 and 2005.  According to the congressman who ordered the study, “It’s shameful that so many corporations cheat the American people.  That’s Congress’ job.”

On her trip to NY, Republican VP candidate Sarah Palin met with Henry Kissinger, Afghan President Hamid Karzai, and Colombian President Alvaro Uribe.  Then she shot them, and skinned them.

A new poll shows that 18% of likely voters don’t know what they’re going to do on Election Day.  But then, 90% of politicians don’t know what they’re doing every day.
 
Because of a misprint in a NJ telephone book, callers who wanted to reach a county political committee instead got a phone sex line.  Not so far off.  Politicians, especially in Jersey, end up screwing you.

German police arrested two terrorist suspects on a plane bound for Amsterdam.  Holland is a top target for Islamic terrorists because a Dutch guy made a movie that uses verses from the Koran and implies they promote violence.  Apparently, this is considered a major insult.  In other words, we’re not terrorists and if you say we are we’re going to blow up your country.

Tokyo is a fashion capital so it’s not surprising that they recently held a fashion show, but this one was for adult diapers.  According to one of the organizers, “Diapers are something that people don’t want to look at.”  True, but mostly they’re something people don’t want to smell.

Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger vetoed a bill that would have penalized California drivers sharing the driver’s seat with dogs or other animals.  So, you can still cruise the freeway with Marilyn Manson in your lap.

Annoying illusionist David Blaine completed a stunt in which he hung upside down in Central Park for 60 hours.  Doctors say this could lead to Blaine’s blindness, paralysis, even death.  If we’re lucky.

Post from: EveryJoe

My Two Cents