In July, 2009, Franchise Pick explored the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of franchising.  I’ll let you decide which is which.

Do you know a franchise company, franchise opportunity, franchise vendor or issue you’d like to recommend for us to feature?  Email Sean Kelly at info[at]ideafarm.net.

Here’s what we covered in July, 2009:

July’s Featured Franchise:  Oxi Fresh Carpet Cleaning

Featured Opportunity: Oxi Fresh Franchise 33 Comments
Oxi Fresh Carpet Cleaning Franchise Profile
Interview with Jonathan Barnett, Oxi Fresh
OXI FRESH Pt. 2: The Green Franchise 22 Comments
OXI FRESH Franchisees Happy to be Green (1)
OXI FRESH Franchisees Happy to be Green (2)

July’s Featured Franchise Vendor:  Contour Creations Inc.

Contour Creations Inc. is Colorizing Curves

July’s Top New Franchises

BECOMING MOM Pregnancy Spa & Imaging Centre
CREATIVE TUTORS: A Franchise for Educators
Just Between Friends Sells 95th Franchise

July’s Featured Franchise Controversies

Ricky’s Candy, Cones & Chaos Franchise
ACTIONCOACH: Brad Sugars Battles Bloggers
Anthony Reza Solhi: “I am not a crook!”
ONLINE OUTPOST Craigslist Scam. Beware!
LEASE ONE: Failed Brokers Say It’s a Scam
Beware of the Franchise FranBogies!

July’s Featured Topic:  Fast Food Sex Fest

The Fast Food Sex Fest Continues
BURGER KING Pulls A Boner With Ad
HARDEE’S: A-Holes vs B-Holes Commercial

Franchise Marketing:  Michael Jackson, KFC & More

KFC: Paid Plug at Michael Jackson Memorial? 6
Magic Johnson Criticized for MJ KFC Story 10
Michael Jackson, Magic Johnson & KFC 8
CHIPOTLE Promotes Food Inc. Documentary
HUDDLE HOUSE: CEO Griefield on Franchising

More Fluff & Drivel

Sarah Palin Resigns to Open Franchise (?)
Happy Independence Day from Franchise Pick

WHAT DO YOU THINK?  SHARE A COMMENT BELOW.

Post from: EveryJoe

Franchise Pick Blog Posts: July, 2009

Beloved millionaire Richard Quick, Esq.’s FranWorst.com website celebrates the many overlooked advantages of investing in the worst franchise opportunities, including lower fees, universal availability, and the absence of cumbersome rules and quality control.

And because you know it’s bad franchise, argues Quick, there’s no need to waste money to have a lawyer look over the legal agreements & disclosure documents.

Making that point, despite being an attorney himself, (He is, in fact, a founding partner of the prestigious firm Quick, Duhk & Hyde) displays the selflessness of Mr. Quick, Esq…. and the reason he is so beloved.

So what are some of Quick’s Picks for Best of the Worst franchise opportunities?

#1  “Eternal Ascent” Cremains Dispersal

As an Eternal Ascent franchise owner, your big red balloon will take Uncle Charlie to heaven and his ashes to God knows where.

#2  Enviro-Ad Environmental Product Placement

One man’s litter is another man’s gold mine.

#3  Wiznos Free Subs

If you think our buns are toasted, wait ’til you see our franchisees!

#4  Michael Phelps’ BUDWAY

Endorsed by Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps, this budding franchise promises a great bong for your buck.

#5  BUDGET BRIDES: Love 4 Less!

Matching bachelors on a budget with eligible women from the Poland, USSR, Singapore, Zimbabwe, Muscle Shoals and other miserable places.

#6  iSTOLE It

iSTOLE It combines the selling power of eBay auctions with our unique, no-cost inventory acquisition system.

#7  LOOK RICH QUICK! The Franchise

Your neighbors no longer have to look poor, just because they are.

#8  STARBUSKJ Cofe ‘N’ ROP (video)

STARBUSKJ Cofe ‘N’ ROP is favorite franchise of the late EXILED ex-president Baduchka and the only Slovenian coffee and rope shop to give free monkeyfist with every order! (So, if you have something you need to tie, or if you are a sleepy guy: STARBUSKJ Cofe ‘N’ Rop!)

#9  Pruno Prison Wine

Ranked one of the top 10 prison-based franchises

#10 Meal Assembly & Botox Kitchen Franchise

Make & Fake Gourmet combines the appeal of paying hundreds of dollars to prepare ones own meals, with the booming demand for facial botox injections.

#11*  Richard Quick’s GRATE FUN! Adventure Park

An exciting development with QuickCo’s partnership with the People’s Republic of China.  Co-branded with QuickCo’s DEEP DISCOUNT TOYS! from China.

Special FREE Bonus Message from Richard Quick, Esq.

What is Success? A letter from our President, Millionaire Richard Quick, Esq.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?  ADD A COMMENT OR SUGGESTION FOR WORSE FRANCHISES.

Images:  Franworst

Richard Quick, Esq.’s Top 10 lists always go to 11.  That’s how he rolls.

Post from: EveryJoe

Rich Quick’s 10 Worst Franchises (humor)

Newsstand Entrepreneurial Press:  Hype, Fluff… or Fraud?

Tuesday I was quoted in the Wall Street Journal about my motivation for creating the controversial UnhappyFranchisee.com blog:

Mr. Kelly says he was put off by the promotional hype he had read in the franchise trade press about numerous concepts. “Almost nobody was writing anything bad,” he says, “and I wanted to give those with negative experiences a voice.”

Actually, “franchise trade press” was a poor choice of words.

Some interpreted that as a slam on FT, which it wasn’t.  I was actually referring to the newsstand entrepreneurial and small business opportunities magazines that target prospective first-time business owners.  These magazines portray a small business fantasyland where lovely, energetic entrepreneurs all enjoy  personal fulfillment and reap huge financial rewards as owners of their very own pooper scooper,  chewing gum removal, home mailbox decorating and mobile pet repair franchises.

As a marketing guy, I don’t mind a bit of fluff or some well-crafted spin now and then. And I’m certainly sensitive to the need to create an editorial environment that’s conducive to the needs of ones advertisers.  But these newsstand entrepreneurial publications & their much-touted Hottest Franchise! rankings push – if not cross – the line between spin and fraud.

These magazines portray a small business fantasyland where lovely, energetic entrepreneurs all enjoy  personal fulfillment and reap huge financial rewards as owners of their very own pooper scooper,  chewing gum removal, home mailbox decorating and mobile pet repair franchises.

The Dangers of Newsstand Hype

For example, a couple of years ago these publications hyped the ebay drop-off store concept as the hot new franchise opportunity.  Entrepreneur magazine named the largest, iSold It, as the #1 new franchise opportunity of 2007.  At the same time, iSold It franchise owners sent us proof that more than 60 franchisees had already failed, that many had defaulted on their $200,000 loans and were losing their homes, and the franchisor itself was teetering on the verge of bankruptcy.  Yet the printing presses were still pumping out the exciting success story for people ready to dream the impossible dream. (Read: Is iSoldit a Great Franchise Opportunity?)

iSold ceased franchising shortly after we (or rather their franchisees) broke the story.  Most of the stores have closed. The owner is reportedly enjoying his $2M house.  The only press the ex-franchisees are getting is their nameless inclusion in the loan default and home foreclosure statistics on CNN.  (Read:  iSold It Dropped from Entrepreneur 500, Loses Top New Franchise Crown)

Entrepreneur magazine is a useful publication with a lot of good content and a large franchise directory.  However, they sometimes hype both unproven, questionable, and often doomed “hot new concepts” and praise huge, heavily litigated and contentious franchise giants with nary a mention of the controversies and downsides of these undoubtedly large advertisers.

Why Franchise Times Couldn’t Get Away with That Nonsense.

Franchise Times serves the same basic advertiser base, but they couldn’t get away with such nonsense for a couple of reasons.  The first is that they are based in Minnesota.  Anyone who has watched Fargo knows that Minnesotans (think Marge Gunderson) are not wired for deception  and, if they try, they are not good at it (think Jerry Lundegaard).  In fact, part of new employee orientation at Franchise Times involves repeatedly watching Fargo, outdoor fishing and snowmobiling DVDs, and memorizing the best News From Lake Woebegone segments.

Anyone who has watched Fargo knows that Minnesotans (think Marge Gunderson) are not wired for deception  and, if they try, they are not good at it (think Jerry Lundegaard).

The second reason is that Franchise Times is read by real life franchise professionals, franchisors, franchisees and service providers.  While Franchise Times maintains a pleasant and upbeat tone, and is not above fluff (or, in some cases, fluffy) stories about their own pets, they also cover controversies, disputes, litigation and other challenges in franchising.

Their cover story on Quiznos a couple of years back was one of the first and most comprehensive accounts of that embattled company.  They have kept tabs on the story, and updated the woes of Quiznos franchisees as recently as the current issue (Quiznos update, Quiznos weighs in).  They are still the only major publication that has touched the Cuppy’s Coffee debacle (Franchise Times Recounts Cuppy’s Coffee’s “Blog Attacks,” Scoble Incident, Attacks from the blogosphere).

These are pretty bold editorial moves for a publication supported by franchisor advertising dollars.  Franchise Times should be applauded [insert applause here] for being willing to cover controversial and relevant topics.  Readers should encourage them to do more of it in the future.

Two Recommended Industry Events

Franchise Times also hosts two major industry events.

The Franchise Finance & Development Conference
May 4-6, 2009—The Palms, Las Vegas, NV

“The Conference is a proven educational and networking forum designed specifically for owners and executives of franchise companies who want to expand the rate of growth in their franchise systems.”

The Restaurant Finance & Development Conference
November 9-11, 2009—Bellagio Hotel, Las Vegas, NV

“The Restaurant Finance & Development Conference is the largest industry event that is exclusively focused on the finance side of the restaurant business. Designed for multi-unit restaurant operators and senior executives…”

WHAT DO YOU THINK?  LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW.

Images: Franchise Times

Full professional disclosure: I sometimes write for Franchise Times, they sometimes write about me, I am a regular listener of A Prairie Home Companion and am part-owner of a mobile pet repair franchise.

Post from: EveryJoe

Why Franchise Times is Essential Reading

Now FranchisePick.com and FranBest.com are compiling the Who’s Who in Franchising on Twitter in our directory of FranTwits.  See our list of franchise resources on Twitter below;  to be added to the list, leave your Twitter ID and a comment

To see the full list, visit FranTwits on FranBest: Twitter Franchise Directory .

FRANCHISE RESOURCES ON TWITTER

To access individual pages, use the format http://www.twitter.com/TWITTERID (no @ sign). For example, to see the tweets of @FranchisePick, visit http://www.twitter.com/FranchisePick

DO YOU TWITTER?  WHAT DO YOU THINK OF IT?  SHARE A COMMENT AND YOUR ID BELOW.

Twitter Graphic:  VincentAbry

Post from: EveryJoe

FranTwits: Franchise Resources on Twitter

Twitter

Food and snack franchisors are early adopters in using Twitter to communicate and network.  We’ve put together the list below of ice cream, yogurt, pretzel, and coffee franchise companies actively using Twitter.

Also check out: FranTwits: Restaurant Franchises on TWITTER

To see the full list, visit FranTwits on FranBest: Twitter Franchise Directory

SNACK FRANCHISES ON TWITTER

To access individual pages, use the format http://www.twitter.com/TWITTERID (no @ sign). For example, to see the tweets of @FranchisePick, visit http://www.twitter.com/FranchisePick
DO YOU USE TWITTER? SHARE A COMMENT BELOW.

Follow us at @FranchisePick, @TopNewFranchise, and @FranTwits

Twitter Graphic:  VincentAbry

Post from: EveryJoe

FranTwits: Snack Franchises on Twitter

TIME magazine says “Twitter is on its way to becoming the next killer app.”

Newsweek states:  “Suddenly, it seems as though all the world’s a-twitter.”

FranchisePick.com exclaims:  “Twitter is the Internet’s – and franchising’s – fastest-growing and most powerful social networking and communications tool.”

Now FranchisePick.com and FranBest.com are putting together the definitive list of franchise companies, vendors, and resources on TWITTER.  Below is a list of the most active restaurant and fast food franchises promoting via Twitter.

To access individual pages, use the format http://www.twitter.com/TWITTERID (no @ sign). For example, to see the tweets of @FranchisePick, visit http://www.twitter.com/FranchisePick

To see the full list, visit FranTwits on FranBest: Twitter Franchise Directory

RESTAURANT FRANCHISES ON TWITTER

DO YOU USE TWITTER? SHARE A COMMENT BELOW.
Follow us at @FranchisePick

Twitter Graphic:  VincentAbry

Post from: EveryJoe

FranTwits: Restaurant Franchises on TWITTER

Follow @FranchisePick on Twitter

If so, follow FranchisePick at @FranchisePick

Follow TopNewFranchises.com at @TopNewFranchise

Don’t Twitter yet?  Dive in, it’s easy.

Sign up at Twitter.com and “follow” us… we’ll follow you back.

Twitter Graphic:  VincentAbry

DO YOU TWITTER?  WANT MORE FOLLOWERS?  ADD YOUR TWITTER ID BELOW?

Post from: EveryJoe

Follow FranchisePick on TWITTER

The Cloud Merchants portray franchising as a magical paradise where happy franchisees frolic with a euphoria induced by being their own bosses, controlling their own futures, being in business for themselves but not by themselves, and a success rate so high only self-defeating morons who spit in the face of the Success Fairy will not succeed.

Conversely, the Angry Franchise Ranters portray franchising as a deep dark abyss run by a coven of flesh-eating vampires who lure hapless but courageous entrepreneurial virgins and feed on their hopes and dreams until all that is left is an empty shell, massive debts, repossessed homes and ex-spouses and kids that blame it all on them.

The CMs are much more prevalent than the AFRs, but the AFRs make up for it in sheer volume and annoyingness.

Introducing our newest AFR&B (Angry Franchise Ranter & Blogger):  Bloody Franchise

Bloody Franchise is the newest AFR&B (Angry Franchise Ranter & Blogger), a newcomer with all the subtlety, flair and intellectual depth of a WWF wrestling character.  Bloody Franchise left a scathing comment on my recent post (SUBWAY Attorney Joins Spy Store Franchise) about a young attorney joining a soon-to-launch franchise.  Although he knows nothing about either the attorney or the franchise, BF viciously attacked both for the sole reason that they are involved with franchising.

I clicked the link over to BF’s wordpress.com blog only to find an image of a white wolf howling next to a flowing river of blood (Did I tell you he was subtle?).  Even more disturbing was seeing my name in the first sentence of the blog post, which included more ranting about the young attorney he knows nothing about (BF writes: Thanks to Sean Kelly (naivete does have its upsides) for letting us know about people like Ms Church…)

(Wow.  Am I now famous enough to have my own franchise stalker?  Cool.  Sort of. )

Further down a hint of BF’s ranting AFR&B manifesto:

The only people a franchisor needs today on staff is a dishonest, slick and smooth sales force, an in-house lawyer with all of the franchisor tricks in her bag… and a gullible broker (a guy like Sean*) to promote their snake oil**.  Add a PR person to tell the world how successful franchising and especially the franchisor has been and is (they could also hire you for this Sean***) and voila – you’re a franchisor.  Sit back and collect the royalties, the franchise fees, spend the franchisees money on advertising (and get to go to Nascar and PGA events) and when the franchisee gets pissed off, they have to go to detention (otherwise known as arbitration).  This too is controlled by vendors who cater to the franchisor.  And when you learn that the franchisor is the master and you are the slave, you can come out, broke!

While, like many ranters, BF chooses to remain anonymous, it’s a fair bet that he is an unsuccessful franchisee who was never given NASCAR tickets to his company’s own race, and that he went up against his franchisor in arbitration and lost.  Now he feels his only recourse is to lash out at anything and everything remotely franchise-related.  He will remain anonymous and will not give any details so that no one can challenge his version of his victimhood, and in the naive belief that posting under “Bloody Franchise” will keep him from getting sued for the libelous rants he will eventually get sued for.

The problem with Angry Franchise Ranters is that they may actually have some good points worth sharing – but no one will listen. They are solely interested in venting and attacking everyone and everything, even potential allies.  They are not interested in warning others from making their same mistakes, and they want to see their former franchise system topple, no matter how many other franchisees get hurt.  They are primarily out for revenge, and that negates the good they could possibly do.

To me, the key message you need to understand is that whether you are buying a franchise or starting your own business, the buck stops with you.  It’s up to you to thoroughly investigate, research and plan your new business.  The painful truth is that there is no safety net whether you start a franchise or go it alone.

Listen to the Cloud Merchants, consider the Ranters warnings, and in the end rely only on your best judgement and the advice of those who will be in it with you.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?  SHARE A COMMENT BELOW.

* I’m not a broker.  Never was a broker and have never sold franchises.

** I do not promote snake oil.  In fact, the only product I publicly endorse is the Green Prosperity Prayer Hankie.  Why?  Because it works!

** I’m sure they’ll want to hire me after this exposure ;)

IMAGE:  FranBest.com

Post from: EveryJoe

Cloud Merchants & Franchise Ranters Part 1

Franchisers are notorious for playing fast and loose with both general franchise “statistics” and representations of the growth of their specific franchise systems. Franchise attorney and blogger Michael Webster has posted a biting and informative piece on The BizOp News ( Taylor Bond growing the Children’s Orchard Franchise? ) on the importance of checking hyped statements before taking a bite into a juicy-looking franchise opportunity.

As a quick example, Webster quotes a past interview with Children’s Orchard CEO Taylor Bond that appeared on franchise advertising portal Franchise Gator.  Regarding the children’s goods consignment chain, the article states that “Under the leadership of new President and CEO Taylor Bond, who brings with him a strong background in franchising and resale, Children’s Orchard, with nearly 100 thriving locations in 23 states, is selling 5 million items to approximately 1 million customers each year.”  The “interview” with Bond (which, for some reason, is titled “Recent Interview With Russell Frith”) states that “Bond is well on his way to achieving his goal of having 300 locations open by 2007.”

Nearly 100 thriving locations?  Soon to triple in size? Sounds like a great system to join!

But it’s just like an attorney to kill the buzz by bringing up reality. Webster posts the required disclosure of unit numbers from the franchise disclosure document:

The disclosure document indicates that the “growth” of the Children’s Orchard franchise is what’s euphemistically known as “negative growth.”  Instead of “nearly 100″ locations, as the hype interview states, the chain had 82 locations by the end of 2005, then fell from 82 locations in 2006 to 73 in 2007, a net loss of 9 locations.  How gaining 0 units in 2005, adding 2 units in 2006, and closing 9 – or 11% – of total units in 2007 indicated that Bond was “well on his way” to achieving 300 units by 2007 is beyond my limited mathematical capabilities.

Then again, I never would have guessed “nearly 100 locations” actually meant 80 I mean 73 locations.

The franchise due diligence lesson for today, boys & girls?  Compare the publicly hyped representations of the franchise company, past and present, to the cold, hard facts.  The disparity between the two will tell you bushels about the company you’re dealing with.

And when “nearly 100 thriving locations” turns out to mean 73 locations and falling, you better scrutinize every representation the company makes.  In cases like this, it might be hard to find a core of truth in the whole orchard.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?  LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW.

Photo:  FranBest.com  used by permission

Chart: public document, The Bizop News

Post from: EveryJoe

Children’s Orchard: Hyped to the Core?

My name is James, I owned a 1-800-Dryclean franchise. 1-800-DryClean is a national franchise operation. The franchisor’s U.S. home office is in Ann Arbor, MI. 1-800-DryClean is part of Service Brands International whose brands include MOLLY MAID and Mr. Handyman. We deliver dry cleaning door-to-door. I feel that I have been wronged from Service Brands International, which has 600 Franchises under its name. I believe that they are selling territories that they know will not be successful. I have invested around $75,000, $45,000 for the franchise initial start up, and the rest, expenses of trying to get this route up and running, this is an estimate, the money could be more. On October 24th , 2008, I went out of business. The home office sent out a letter to all of my customers that stated that I am out of business and if you would like to own a business in Leominster, MA please let them know. They are trying to sell this territory, knowing full well that it will never reach the goals that they have set. I believe they are just trying to get the initial franchise fee, which is around $45,000.

Here are some of the many complaints I have against Service Brands. I have been fighting with them through emails on almost all of these points through the last couple of years and have kept all of the emails. At one point, it seemed liked they were going to change some of their policies, but never did.

READ ON @ UNHAPPY FRANCHISEE.

ARE YOU FAMILIAR WITH SERVICE BRANDS FRANCHISES?  THE 1-800-DRYCLEAN FRANCHISE? SHARE A COMMENT BELOW.

Post from: EveryJoe

1-800-DRYCLEAN: Failed Franchisee Taken to Cleaners?