1. Frank Caliendo will have to find new material. Frank is a Wisconsin native, and for that alone I will always love him. But it’s his impression of John Madden that really gets me guffawing. I hear him live sometimes on our local station with Bob & Brian and I just sit back and let the gigglemonster grab hold.

2. Al Michaels will have to begin the long search for a new partner. Again. Just when Al thought he’d found the right color guy in John Madden, he (or the network) will have to find another personality to match his play-by-play and occasional over/under shtick.

3. The Madden Curse may be disrupted. I personally like things I can rely on. The Madden Curse is one of them. How will the work change if players actually get better and keep playing after they grace the cover of Madden’s game boxes? I shudder to think.

4. Turducken may become obsolete. I had never heard of a turducken before John Madden. Will this symbol of good luck and Thanksgiving delicacy fly off to the wayside now that Madden is not there to triumph such a dish?

5. The cross-country bus tour will cease. I personally loved a guy who was so afraid to fly that he drove a bus everywhere he went. It gave hope to my own irrational fears. By hauling that bus everywhere he went, Madden let us believe that even though your fear is not shared by millions, it is okay for you to go ahead and honor it. And if you can add football players faces to your bus along the way? All the better.

Image: Bauer-Griffin

Post from: EveryJoe

5 Reasons John Madden Can’t Retire

Just ask his teammate Eric Barton. What’s more fun than opening your locker to find an dead animal rotting away in a blood-and-guts-filled bag? (We’ll wait here patiently while you try to think of something. Need more time? No, all set? OK, moving on.)

Favre is known for his practical jokes. We’re not sure why Barton was selected as the punchline, but it was probably a gesture of friendship. Everyone knows that nothing says “let’s be pals” like locker-carcass. Besides, it couldn’t have smelled much worse than that shirt Brett Favre’s #1 fan boy wore for four years straight.

Brett Favre who might be thinking about the game or might be thinking up his next practical joke. The world will never know.

Image: Used with permission of www.newscom.com

P.S. Any mention of Brett Favre makes us think of John Madden, which makes us think of Frank Caliendo’s impression of John Madden. See how everything comes full circle?

Post from: EveryJoe

Did You Hear the One About Brett Favre and the Bag of Animal Guts?

It’s not quite over yet, though, and today brought an impressive plot twist. Here’s what sports writers and bloggers are saying about the unretired, reinstated, ex-Green Bay Packers quarterback right now:

• Don Banks of SI.com tells us the Top 10 Things to Know About Favre Being an ex-Packer
• Bob Birge of RUWT speaks for most of us in saying Thankfully, The Brett Favre Era Has Concluded
• Michael Silver of Yahoo! Sports believes Favre Move Desperate One for Mangini, Jets
• David Kindervater of b5 Media Sports blogs about the uh-oh concerning Brett Favre and Madden NFL 09
• Frank Caliendo does his John Madden impression, which isn’t really relevant but we wanted to throw it in anyway

Post from: EveryJoe

LINKS: A Round-Up of All Things Brett Favre

Maybe someone should ask John Madden? Or at least Frank Caliendo doing John Madden?

Anyway, Frank Coffey and his Goodfellas at eTrueSports did their usual digging for the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, and here’s what they came up with the other day on the Favre front.

Top Eleven Messages on Brett Favre’s Cell

11.  “This is Brad, call me back on a pay phone.”

10.  “You kidding? Minneapolis is much warmer!”

9.    “Go west on I-94 to Cedar, take a left and a quarter mile down there’s a diner … “

8.   “No, Jesse Ventura is not the governor anymore and, no, you won’t have to shake his hand.”

7.   “Okay, okay, we’ll set the thermostat to 78.”

6.   “You’ll never have to see some dope wearing cheese on his head again. It’s illegal in Minnesota. Really.”

5.   “Tell Deena the schools are great.”

4.    ”Brett, this is Coach McCarthy, please call me back.”

3.   “The Twin cities is really a misnomer, you won’t ever have to set foot in St. Paul.”

2.   “Just deny everything, they can’t prove nuthin.’”

1.   “You can run around as much as you want, we hate set plays!”

Post from: EveryJoe

Brett Favre’s Cell Phone Messages

One of Caliendo’s best impersonations (and our personal fave) is of John Madden. Caliendo as Madden capitalizes on the NFL legend’s love for Brett Favre, so given all the Favre–Packers drama this week and our Caliendo-giddiness this weekend, we decided to lighten things up with this 2007 clip from David Letterman.

It’s 7m, 20s, but even a few minutes’ worth should give you a few chuckles.

Post from: EveryJoe

VIDEO: Frank Caliendo as John Madden

Celebrity with whom we’d have wanted to sit in order to get some much-needed comic relief via butt-cheek chit-chat, a form of discussion we’d consider asinine under normal conditions: Jim Carrey

Celebrity whose tendency for goofiness, in conjuction with Carrey’s, surely would have inoculated us against the depressing loss: Jenny McCarthy

Best athlete in the stadium: No, not Peyton Manning (he gets the nod for Most Overexposed Athlete, though). And it definitely wasn’t putzy Eli “My Middle Name Should Be Four-Leaf Clover” Manning. And it sure as heck wasn’t heartbreaker Tom Brady. No, this honor goes to Roger Federer. Oh, and since we also have him on a pedestal for class and style, he’s also the celeb with whom we’d sit . . . if security didn’t get in the way.

Celebrity who, given her sunny personality, we’d have sought a hug from after the game: Kate Hudson

Celebrity who made us wish we were watching Borat instead of the game: Pamela Anderson

Celebrity whose appearance made us glad we don’t have breast implants, a lip injection, or a bad dye job (’cause our bottle-blonde is pretty darn smokin’): Pamela Anderson

Celebrity with the best AND most personalities: Frank Caliendo. This guy’s so great we were just looking for an excuse to embed this YouTube clip (it’s worth the 9s, 29s–or even just a couple of minutes to catch Bush, Madden, Seinfeld, Pacino, and so on).

Post from: EveryJoe

Celebrity Sitings at the Super Bowl