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Advertisers are a vital cog in the product cycle.

They help us differentiate between price and value, they educate us about the features of their clients’ products and they work tirelessly to make sure our self-esteem doesn’t get any higher than a garden slug.

That’s why we take an immense amount of pleasure in watching companies commit massive ad budgets only to wind up with an embarrassing TV spot your first grader would refuse to turn in as a school project.

Low-budget, local commercials don’t count. To really screw up, you need to have a committee sign off on a national ad campaign.

It’s a nice little zen tap for the corporate bureaucracy when you know fourteen layers of MBAs and junior executives signed off on some million dollar commercial that only serves to alienate customers and make your product a laughingstock.

Here’s a list of 10 commercials by major companies that succeeded in this criteria beyond their company’s wildest nightmares:

10 – Levi’s 501 Jeans

This commercial combines the horror of considering they may not have burned all the original episodes of ‘Growing Up Gotti’ with that twinge of embarrassing pity you feel watching a special-ed kid struggle with a simple task. “Good job, Vinnie — you did such a good job cuffing your jeans. Now try to remember not to eat the lint in your pockets.”

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9 – The NRA Hates Criminals

Despite being one of the most powerful and well-heeled lobbies in Washington, the NRA manages to put together a commercial that looks like it was made by your local mattress store. It’s all here: wooden dialogue, cheesy music and a cringe-inducing punchline – “Just let ‘em try and mess with those guns…” If guns are outlawed, then only outlaws will be able to shoot themselves after watching this commercial.

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8 – Your House Stinks

Hey! Your house stinks because it’s “full of life.” Guess Jeffrey Daumer didn’t have this problem. Good thing there’s Febreeze. And oh, by the way, it is seriously time to put grandma in a home — even the dog thinks she’s freakin’ crazy.

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7 – Garnier Fructis Gets A Bad Rap

You know it’s bad when a black girl in a Santa cap is running down your street cred. After running through some other bad ads, the Garnier Fructis ad starts at the :50 mark of this video. Garnier Fructis — ’cause even bitches and hos need soft silky hair if they’re going to be objectified.

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6 – The Report’s Free, Not The Credit

Logging on to check your credit score is like the Detroit Lions logging on to check the standings. I know my credit sucks, I don’t need to see it calculated out to three decimal places. Plus, if your credit’s that bad, you’ve probably already hocked your laptop.

Top 5 after the jump…

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5 – It’s Not What You’re Thinking

Even Kirstie Alley doesn’t get this excited about fast food. It’s hard to figure out which is more disturbing — that this commercial is equating women with cheese-covered roast beef or that this dude actually has a semi-hot girlfriend. I’m thinking it’s time for a new boyfriend.

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4 – Guys, This Isn’t The Kind of Jam Session I Was Picturing…

Songwriter: I could really use a steady royalty income.
Devil: Write a peppy little song about erectile dysfunction and I’ll make a deal with you…

If this jingle is in your head for more than four hours, call your doctor. And, please — whatever you do — don’t take it out on the Golden Retriever.

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3 – Chew On This

Okay, maybe we can’t persuade you. So … how about we just beat the crap out of you. Over a piece of gum. The worst part? I’ve probably seen this commercial a hundred times and I still couldn’t name the brand of gum this kid gets assaulted over.

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2 – My Opponent Wants To Blow Up Little Kids

You know we had to have a political ad in the Top 10 and this ad is classic political misdirection. You can sense the desperation as the trailing candidate Colleen Callahan implies her opponent wants to promote nuclear war. Crazier still, since Colleen couldn’t drum up a connection to terrorists or Muslims, the campaign had to feign outrage that her opponent might sell weapons to one of our allies. Damn you, Congressman Schock — next thing you’ll be giving the recipe for Toll House cookies to Luxembourg.

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1 – Let Me Tell You The Story of Another Loser….

In the one of the Blade movies, there’s a scene where a bunch of vampires are at a club and, at one point, blood sprays from pipes in the ceiling, soaking the creatures on the dance floor creating an orgiastic vampire feeding frenzy.

Looks like Axe’s monopoly as the favored cologne of New York City taxi drivers is safe for another year…

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Post from: EveryJoe

Top 10 Worst Commercials By A Major Company