I can be found on-line Mon-Sun.  from 1200-1400 and 1900-2200.  I don’t get to play everyday, but I do play a lot during those times.  If you do happen to kill me I want proof.  Either a video, screen shot, or a detailed account.  Just post it in the comment section for all the world to see.

When I came up with this idea my friends and family asked if I was ready to be humiliated.  My response was, “bring the pain.”

Image Source: Stryker W@SP and Amy Tucker © 2008

Post from: EveryJoe

Get Steve!

I did a lot of research on the subject of why I am so upset with the release of Call of Duty 5. Then I realized all I really needed to say was that Activision sucks!

Let me explain how I got there.

First Activision, with the help of Infinity Ward, launched Call of Duty. It was one of the better WWII shooters for its time. Unfortunately, like all good things, when they make money they are beaten to death. The WWII shooter is one of those good things.

By 2006, I was shell shocked and suffering from battle fatigue. The European and Pacific theater had lost its charm. Then out of the blue in 2007 Activision and Infinity Ward did it again with the release of Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. This game just exploded on the scene like a 5 megaton bomb.

I loved the storyline of COD4. I was still in the Navy at that time and the way that COD4 plot was laid out was as close to the real thing as you wanted. The death of the Marines and the matter of fact way in which the SAS churned out mission after mission just felt real to me. I could not put it down, and as much as I loved the single player game, the multiplayer was even more engaging. I still enjoy playing the multiplayer. (I bought the map pack.)

Just as I was starting to sing praises for Activision, it was announced that COD5 would be set in the Pacific during WWII. WTF?!! WHY!! COD4 crushed records and was a gamble that payed off. Instead of adding to the sea of WWII shooters COD4 was different. Then for no good reason other than it was safe, Activision went and made a World War II game. How disappointing. I am fed up with the WWII shooters and I am fed up with the companies that push them on us.

So, Activision can bite my ass.

Did You Know: The Call of Duty series is actually split between two developers, Infinity Ward and Treyarch. Infinity Ward was responsible for creating Call of Duty, Call of Duty 2, and Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. Treyarch, on the other hand, made Call of Duty 2: Big Red One, Call of Duty 3, Call of Duty: United Offensive (PC only), and Call of Duty 5: World at War.

Infinity Ward developed the more influential titles of the Call of Duty series, but Activison keeps switching back and forth between developers. There were and still are so many military conflicts to choose from why is it that we have to repeat the same period in history over and over again?

Image Source: uhuru1701 and Amy Tucker © 2008

Post from: EveryJoe

The Greatest Genre

Better late than never, they always say. I’ve managed to get a steal this weekend by snatching up SOCOM: U.S. Navy SEALs Fireteam Bravo 1 and 2 for the PlayStation Portable. Despite having the hots for the sequel, I’ve decided to begin my adventures with the earlier game.

I wasn’t disappointed.

Fireteam Bravo is a well-constructed FPS/third-person shooter for the PSP. Despite the absence of a second analog stick for the PSP, the game comes with surprisingly good controls. The scheme may not be perfect, but it’s a much better alternative to the peculiar Syphon Filter: Dark Mirror controls, which rely on the PSP’s face buttons for cursor/camera movement.

I’ve yet to engage in the game’s multiplayer. From what I’ve heard, cheating is common in Fireteam Bravo’s online component with mods such as infinite ammo and rank-up rooms. Why am I not surprised?

Because cheating seems to be rampant in handheld games’ online multiplayer, that’s why. I dipped my hand in Metroid Prime Hunters and I got burned. Since that day, I’m half expecting that some crazed teenager would find a way to get ahead in such games because it gives them a sense of accomplishment.

Here’s to a good, albeit limited, single-player campaign for PSP’s SOCOM.

Image for SOCOM: U.S. Navy SEALs Fireteam Bravo is courtesy of Sony Computer Entertainment.

Post from: EveryJoe

Now Playing: SOCOM for the PSP is better than expected

I’m done withThe Bourne Conspiracy and Contra 4. As you may have noticed, I’ve already finished Jason Bourne’s PlayStation 3 game. As for Contra 4, I don’t plan on touching it for at least a year.

You know, I always develop an overwhelming urge to throw my Nintendo DS against the wall while playing Contra 4, and it’s not just to see if the game cartridge would survive the impact.

See? Violent video games don’t turn people into homicidal maniacs. Frustrating video games do.

I’m looking forward to finally picking up Killzone: Liberation and Syphon Filter: Dark Mirror for the PSP this weekend. If time permits, I’m also planning on finally getting some quality time alone with Mass Effect’s new DLC titled “Bring Down the Sky.”

So what are you playing this weekend?

Image for Syphon Filter: Dark Mirror is courtesy of Sony Computer Entertainment.

Post from: EveryJoe

What are you playing this weekend?

I promised myself to finally finish The Bourne Conspiracy, but I still can’t say that I would be able to do so this weekend. Despite its visual flair, the game doesn’t attract me much so I don’t feel the push. I might try to work on Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth once I’ve gathered enough courage.

You see, all this macho stuff related with shooters is misleading. I’m a complete sissy when they take away my big guns and have me sneak around scary places with no weapon whatsoever.

Having no quicksave is another story.

When I’m not facing my PC or TV screen, I plan to get some coop action on the DS with Contra 4, which I haven’t finished to this very day. I consider Contra 4 a contradiction of sorts—I hate its punishing difficulty but I can’t seem to put it down. Strangely, I enjoy the self-inflicted anguish of being challenged yet not progressing despite my best efforts.

How about you? What’s keeping you busy this weekend?

Image of Robert Ludlum’s The Bourne Conspiracy is courtesy of Vivendi Games.

Post from: EveryJoe

What are you playing this weekend?

I love shooters, whether they’re in third- or first-person view. It’s my favorite game genre. I also love Western role-playing games. I think they’re the closest we gamers can get to pen-and-paper RPGs. I never thought that these two major genres could be combined into a single, compelling experience.

Ion Storm did something similar in 2000’s Deus Ex. It combined FPS and RPG, but while multiple paths are available to the player, the role-playing elements are as hollow as protagonist JC Denton’s voice. The plot was all action, so like any Hollywood action flick, there was hardly time for meaningful characterization.

In addition, all the non-player characters are so daft that they could be easily outsmarted by inanimate rocks. Shooting them in the face was in no way satisfying.

Enter Bioware, a premier RPG maker that brought us Baldur’s Gate, Neverwinter Nights, and Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. The developer has created Mass Effect, which blends frantic third-person shooting and real “role-play.” Not shallow and linear JRPG role-play, but pen-and-paper-like role-play that lets gamers be anything they want to be characterization-wise.

Do you want to intimidate every person you meet? Or do you feel like playing as a goody two-shoe? You can choose to get involved in a relationship or you can ignore them altogether. You can be savior of the universe or scourge of everyone else. Talking is a huge part of the game–it determines the path you have to take and what kind of person your character is.

Because I’m a huge shooter fan, let me tell you this: the action in Mass Effect is satisfying. You’ll miss out on the gore, but you’ll hardly notice it because of all the fighting you have to go through. Mass Effect is not your typical bloody mess like Project Origin or Condemned 2, but I forgive Bioware because they’ve never done shooters before.

Since I haven’t finished Mass Effect, I can’t give a definite verdict yet. What I can tell you is that the game satisfies the staunch shooter and RPG fan in me. Would it continue until the very end? We’ll find out soon enough.

Image of Mass Effect for the PC is courtesy of EA.

Post from: EveryJoe

Now Playing: Mass Effect for the PC

Can you name another game that lets you play a heart-devouring comic book antihero? I bet you can’t because there’s nothing quite like The Darkness, an FPS developed by Starbreeze Studios.

Sure, games that let you shoot people in the face may be a bit too common these days, but the concept of generating power from the dark and walking around with a couple of nasty tentacles is pretty new. I haven’t even mentioned what kind of guy the protagonist is.

I’ve heard of space marines, Special Forces members, intergalactic fugitives, special-armor-wearing characters, SWAT teams, World War II soldiers and the like, but mobsters with superpowers that talk with a New Yorker accent isn’t something you encounter every day.

You play Jackie Estacado, a hatchet man for the mob. He just turned 21. Aside from the obvious mafia connections, Jackie is set apart from the average twentysomething with a sinister inheritance called the Darkness (with a capital D), which manifests itself as a couple gruesome tentacles. Jackie can fire a shotgun just like the next hitman, but the tentacles provide abilities like a shield that protects the host from harm and the creation of a massive, black hole to suck the life out of enemies.

Oh, and you gain more powers when the tentacles devour enough hearts from dead foes.

Things have been great so far. I’m playing through a level that’s said to be “hell” and fight against undead German soldiers from World War I.

Just a couple of nitpicks: the tentacles take up too much space on the screen, making peripheral vision limited. This becomes an even bigger concern when the tentacles gain higher levels and grow in size. But hey, I can’t think of a better way to depict a couple of demonic tentacles wrapped around a human host so screw peripheral vision and gameplay.

I also find Jackie a bit of a sissy when it comes to damage tolerance. Let’s just say I expect a little bit more from superheroes. Sure, Jackie may be a normal guy without the Darkness and the shield it provides, but a couple of shots are enough to send this guy keeling even when the tentacles are protecting him.

Image of The Darkness is courtesy of Starbreeze Studios and 2K Games.

Post from: EveryJoe

Now Playing: The Darkness and it’s brilliant

In his original video review, Gerstmann called Kane & Lynch “an ugly, ugly game.” It seems that the game is ugly not only in a visual sense, but in several other departments as well. The veteran reviewer didn’t like the storyline, the characters, and certain gameplay flaws.

I wouldn’t call Kane & Lynch “an ugly, ugly game.” I’d say it’s worth one “ugly” modifier and that’s it. The game isn’t exactly a lost cause because multiplayer is rather entertaining since it keeps you guessing who would double-cross your group.

Granted that I’ve yet to care for the characters, but after spending time with the duo, there were some scenarios that are indeed worth playing, especially in the co-op mode. It’s a shame though that there isn’t any cooperative play online.

Perhaps the most frustrating part about this game is its bad AI. Enemies stand still and wait for bullets to snuff their virtual lives. The game feels like a shooting gallery at times because foes line up one after the other for you to shoot them.

Kane & Lynch isn’t worth the purchase but it can be a useful distraction while waiting for June 12 to roll by. Just don’t expect it to keep your attention for long.

Post from: EveryJoe

Now Playing: Kane & Lynch are dead to me

I have found closure.

I had mixed feelings when I first finished Max Payne 2. Disappointed with the turnout of events, I was also pleased because the ending was nothing short of brilliance.

However, I never really felt that the series was finished. Aside from being mentioned in the end credits of part two, news of a Max Payne 3 was announced shortly after the sequel came out.

That was almost four years ago, but there have been no updates since then.

Unfortunately, the chances of a third Max Payne is getting slimmer. Remedy Entertainment, Max Payne’s developer, has been working on Alan Wake for the longest time. Here’s the rub: Alan Wake looks like it’s in limbo with rumors of cancellation.

Remedy was quick to shoot down this rumor.

I found out only recently about this alternate Max Payne 2 ending, so I took little time in pursuing it. I’ve never really tried the Dead on Arrival mode, and let me tell you, it is unforgiving.

The ending is worth it though. As you may have heard, Mona Sax survives. The duo lives happily ever after; as happy as a couple could in a noir version of the Big Apple.

My thirst for a second sequel has been quenched thanks to the alternate ending. The real ending.

I have found closure.

Post from: EveryJoe

Putting “closure” and Max Payne 2 in a sentence feels strange

I’m a sucker for Max Payne.

I still remember the great lengths I went through just to get my retail copies in time (i.e. not a couple of months late). The best part? The games are indeed worth all the trouble.

Despite the rather disappointing length, I still revisit Remedy’s Noir York every couple of years to enjoy the outrageous gunplay and awesome mods. Imagine my surprise when I discovered just recently that finishing Max Payne 2 in its highest difficulty would result in a more interesting ending.

As a result, I’ve installed the game again. I (barely) finished the Hard Boiled difficulty, and am about to begin Dead on Arrival.

Why the late discovery? For one thing, I avoid cheat codes or game guides. I’m a purist of sorts, insisting on finishing a game by myself. By the time I see credits roll, I’m too lazy to have another go. It takes me at least two years before I want to touch a game again.

In fact, my recent discovery of this alternate ending was just by accident–stumbling over Max Payne 2’s Wikipedia entry. That bit about Mona Sax surviving, “depending on the difficulty level” was just too tempting to miss.

Image is from GameSpot.

Post from: EveryJoe

Late discovery: An alternate ending for Max Payne 2