I mean, I’m not about to stop you if you buy it, but Mr Parish will not be held responsible for your loss of money or equilibrium. Commando: Steel Disaster, which previously looked like a cute shooter, still looks like a cute shooter. But looks can be deceiving, friend.

“See, it’s funny that it’s called Steel Disaster, because it’s both stolen and a disaster.” – Nich Maragos

Reportedly, Commando: Steel Disaster lifts a lot from its adoptive daddy, Metal Slug. You shoot shoot shoot and the bad guys shoot shoot shoot and whoever remains standing is the winner—until the next bad guy materalises. Repeat several hundred times. But unlike Metal Slug, Commando: Steel Disaster omitted balanced gameplay. Oops.

From GameSpite:

“Commando makes a crucial mistake that SNK never did: its levels are endless. They seriously go on and on, and you have a single life to make it through them before you can continue. I tried several times and couldn’t even make it through the first mission. I think maybe I was close to the end, but there’s no way to tell. You die, you’re booted back to the title screen. No checkpoints, no second chances, just ten minutes of marathon shooting — all lost to a couple of unlucky hits.”

Well, I guess we all dodged a bullet—or several thousand in this case. It’s not like there’s going to be a lack of titles for the Nintendo DS this holiday season, but I still feel a bit bad for Commando: Steel Disaster. I’ll have to look it up when I get to the white elephant portion of my Christmas List.

(Also, never trust anything Parish says. Ever. If you see him running away and screaming about a tidal wave? You just plant your ass right there and cross your arms and say, “No sir, I will not be fooled AAAAARGHEGARGLEGARGLE—” ::Drown::)

Post from: EveryJoe

Oh Wait, Screw Commando: Steel Disaster

Fun fact: “warm gun” can serve as as many sexual euphemisms.

Senor Jeremy Parisho of Gamespite.net blogs about games sometimes. He hopes you’ll check out a Nintendo DS title that will doubtlessly be looked over this holiday season: Commando: Steel Disaster. For the sake of spikey-haired anime mascots who are actually adorable, I hope you will, too.

Parish, having secured his copy, explains the nature of the metal beast:

“[W]hat is Commando: Steel Disaster? So far as I can tell, it’s pretty much a complete Metal Slug rip-off. As a matter of fact, I believe this debuted a while back under the title 07 Commando, upon which debut it was soundly excoriated for shamelessly swiping from SNK’s side-scrolling masterpiece. And from what I’m seeing here, there’s not much reason to doubt that it is, in fact, an off-brand knock-off.

Still, sometimes an uninspired knock-off can be perfectly fun! If you’re going to plunder someone else’s hard work, you might as well scavenge from the best. The question is whether or not Steel Disaster steals well, or if it simply embarrasses everyone involved: us the gamers, SNK the creators, XS the, uh, borrowers.”

Oh, holiday season. You shower us with too many A-games to choose from. Compared to the poverty and war raging outside our cushy borders, we have it too goddamn hard.

(Image copyright XS)

Post from: EveryJoe

Keep Your Gun Warm for Commando: Steel Disaster