image: Paramount Pictures

So here’s the thing, I’ve written about this movie several times.  At first I was optimistic but then my hope began to fade.  Even during my interview with Brett and Ellen from Rotten Tomatoes, Ellen said that G.I. Joe is for people who “want to look at one computer-animated object attack another computer-animated object.”  The first Transformers movie felt like a real action film with great effects, the second one just looked like frenzied pieces of metal flying around the screen.  I get the feeling that Joe is going to be similar but with an entire squadron of terrible acting.

Will I still give it a chance?  Yes!  Did the studio lower my expectations by not even screening the film for critics?  Hell yes!  Hopefully, this movie will prove everyone wrong when it becomes this summer’s big blockbuster.  Okay, that’s not likely to happen but I can dream, right?

Post from: EveryJoe

Now Playing: “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra”

The product descriptions say that the game picks up where the movie (out in theaters this Friday) leaves off which seems strange to me.  Hopefully, it doesn’t give away the movie’s admittedly weak plot.  Players can choose from single player mode as well as a local co-op multiplayer mode.

The characters fall under three classes: heavy, combat soldier and, of course, commando.  It’s up to the gamer to choose which characters are best suited to get through a particular level or task.  As you make your way through the game, you will be able to collect points towards your character’s “ability meter” which can be used in two main ways.  The first allows the player to instantly cash in on this boost by unleashing their character’s unique special ability on an enemy but it only lasts a short while.  Gamers can also save up their points to access the “Accelerator Suit” which provides invincibility and new weapons for a limited amount of time.

There are some unlockables too which include Public Service Announcements from earlier in the franchise’s history and new Cobra bosses which is good since you don’t start out with many.  You will, however, have 12 GI Joe characters to choose from.  Here’s the list of playable characters along with their class and team:

• Backblast (Heavy Weapons) – G.I. Joe
• Baroness (Commando) – Cobra
• Beachhead (Soldier) – G.I. Joe
• Duke (Soldier) – G.I. Joe
• Firefly (Unknown) – Cobra
• Flash (Heavy Weapons) – G.I. Joe
• Gung-Ho (Heavy Weapons) – G.I. Joe
• Heavy Duty (Heavy Weapons) – G.I. Joe
• Kamakura (Commando) – G.I. Joe’
• Ripcord (Soldier) – G.I. Joe
• Scarlett (Commando) – G.I. Joe
• Shipwreck (Soldier) – G.I. Joe
• Snake-Eyes (Commando) – G.I. Joe
• Storm Shadow (Unknown) – Cobra

Check out the trailer.  I think that die-hard fans of the franchise will be happy enough to play this but I don’t know if I’m going to go out of my way to get a copy.  The graphics are pretty cheesy.

Post from: EveryJoe

“G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra” Video Game

Aside from watching the Joe team kick some Cobra butt on this four-disc set, you can also check out the five-part miniseries (there were three of them) that started the craze – The MASS Device, The Revenge Of Cobra: The Weather Dominator and The Pyramid Of Darkness.

You will also get the following bonus features:

• Knowing Is Half The Battle PSAs (these were the BEST!  I love those 80s public service announcements)
• Looking Back With Writer Ron Friedman
• Archival Hasbro Toy Commercials (these are even BETTER than the PSAs!)
• The original G.I. Joe 1963 Toy Fair Presentation
• Printable Script for Jungle Trap

image: Amazon

Post from: EveryJoe

On DVD: “G.I. Joe” Season 1.1

image: Paramount Pictures

Here’s the thing.  I was a really big fan of the original generation of the G.I. Joe cartoon series (I can barely concentrate as I type this because the theme song is running through my head) but not in a the crazy fanatical way that I followed Transformers.  That movie adaptation meant a lot more to me than this one even though, of course, I don’t want to see G.I. Joe messed up.  I’ll just be happy if they make it an exciting, fun, summer movie.

Considering the cast, this could really go either way.  I like the casting of Channing Tatum as Duke and I even am fine with Marlon Wayans (Ripcord) and Dennis Quaid (General Hawk).  What worries me are people like Sienna Miller (The Baroness) and Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Cobra Commander).

The trailer is really the best thing we’ve got at this point since there are barely any leaks and the production stills that I found were very limited.  Check it out:

Post from: EveryJoe

New “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra” Trailer

If you don’t have time to go through the video, you can check out Filmgecko’s writeup on the G.I. Joe movie cast.

Of course, since this blog is about classic and retro games, I’ve opted to, at least for the meantime, stick to the topic and give you a review of what is probably the first G.I. Joe video game, G.I. Joe: Cobra Strike for the Atari 2600.

Here’s a two-word review for the game: IT SUCKS!

Well, G.I. Joe: Cobra Strike might have been cool back in the 1980s, especially with that good rendition of a giant cobra swishing back and forth in an attempt to obliterate the Joes, but in retrospect, I find it more fun moving a small dot that represents the Millennium Falcon around a large dot that represents the Death Star. Yes, I’m talking about the classic Star Wars video game, Return of the Jedi: Death Star Battle.

Going back to G.I. Joe: Cobra Strike, the player controls a G.I. Joe training camp on the bottom of the screen protected by a barrier and armed with two laser cannons. In this mode, the goal is to keep the giant cobra-operated robot snake from destroying the shield and thus the training camp by hitting it eight times. The Cobra robot shoots (surprise, surprise) venom and laser beams.

In the cooperative mode, the training camp is split between two players as they work to destroy the Cobra robot. There is also a competition mode in which one player plays Cobra and the other takes the role of G.I. Joe, of course.

Find it interesting? Well I don’t, except for the fact that it’s a G.I. Joe video game. I’m not the only one. Check out this video by Classic Game Room where the guy who did the voiceover talked less about the video game and more about the cartoon and comic book series.

Post from: EveryJoe

G.I. Joe: Cobra Strike for Atari 2600. Ewwww!