Vladimir Kozlov def. Stevie Richards
The Great Khali wins a Battle Royale against Mr. Kennedy, M.V.P., Umaga, Jeff Hardy, and Big Show

Segment Four
Edge is trying to keep things going with Alicia Fox a/k/a the Wedding Planner. But Chavo Guerrero’s bodyguard Bam Neely is lurking in the corridor listening to their conversation. He’s not going to snitch on another man, is he? No self-respecting man would ever do that but Neely does. So sad.

Stevie Richards comes out to be the next Vladimir Kozlov’s latest cannon fodder. When will Kozlov fight someone good? When will he ever get a pay-per-view gig? How many times must we watch him destroy his opponent. To be fair, Richards actually looks good until Kozlov hits a head butt to the sternum and knocks out the poor Philadelphia native. WWE bookers, please give Kozlov a feud. His domination has gone on long enough.

Segment Five
The Main Event has come early. It’s a Battle Royale with the winner to face HHH at SummerSlam. The competitors: Mr. Kennedy, the Great Khali, Umaga, Jeff Hardy, M.V.P., and Big Show. Regardless of the winner we are going to see someone new against HHH at SummerSlam. That’s a very good thing.

I want to see Mr. Kennedy win but I don’t see him emerging from a Battle Royale. Mrs. Jabandgrapple is pulling for Jeff Hardy…duh. But we both find it hard to see how Big Show could lose a Battle Royale.

Hardy’s early focus is, understandably, on M.V.P. He knocks the Anti-Dog Whisperer out of the ring with a terrific clothesline. Good riddance M.V.P. Umaga tosses Hardy out but Jeff somehow is able to grab the top rope and stay inside. Umaga doesn’t notice as he moves onto Big Show. The World’s Biggest Athlete then flips the Samoan Bulldozer out of the ring. He follows it up with a successful dismissal of Mr. Kennedy. My pick is gone. So sad.

Now there are three left: Show, Khali, and Hardy. Hardy next move is a jump off the top rope onto Big Show. Show catches him and the high flying superstar looks to be in trouble. But against all odds he finds a way to flip Show out. He continues to capitalize on his momentum and hits a Swanton Bomb on Khali.

But it’s not to be. Khali flips Hardy over the top rope and SummerSlam just got a lot less interesting.

After the match HHH enters the stage and stares down his future opponent. They stare and stare and stare and stare and stare. Considering Khali can’t actually move we think that’s an apt preview for SummerSlam. Yaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnn.

Post from: EveryJoe

7/25 WWE SmackDown Part Two: Big Bad Battle Royale With Bad Bad Bad Ending

Segments and Matches covered in Part Three:
Great Khali def. Charles Robinson
Jesse and Festus def. Deuce and Domino
Finlay def. The Miz

How many ways did Vickie Guerrero take advantage of her situation on tonight’s SmackDown. How many horrible things did she do over the span of two hours. Let us count the ways and rate the level of badness from Bad to Really Really Really Really Bad.
Click here for Bad Things #1 through #6.
Click Here for Bad Thing #7 through #11.
Click Here for Bad Thing #17 through #20

Bad Thing #12) She chooses The Great Khali to fight Charles Robinson!
jabandgrapple.com comment: Charles Robinson is half Khali’s size but, probably, twice as good a technical wrestler even without any experience. If Robinson just starts running around the ring Khali might actually trip and fall trying to catch him. It’s worth a shot. If not Robinson might want to check the below chart. It’s for serious head trauma injuries.
Level of Badness: Really Really Really Bad. As Mick Foley said “(this match) is a perfect example of Vickie Guerrero’s vindictiveness.” Can it get any worse?

Bad Thing #13) Robinson tries to run away but Vickie Guerrero has sent Hawkins and Ryder to keep him in the ring.
jabandgrapple.com comment: This is Vindictive Vickie at her worst. Or is it?
Level of Badness: Really Really Really Bad.

Bad Thing #14) Vickie has evidently instructed the Great Khali to punish and seriously injure Robinson. It just got worse. The match is ended after Khali nearly crushes Robinson’s head between his gargantuan palms.
jabandgrapple.com comment: Robinson might never be the same again. We want Vickie to have to fight Great Khali. Right now!
Level of Badness: Really Really Really Really Bad.

Bad Thing #15) Jesse and Festus vs. Deuce and Domino
jabandgrapple.com comment: Before the fight can even happen Deuce and Domino attack each other. Couldn’t they have settled this before the match.
Level of Badness: Really Really Bad but probably not Vickie’s fault.

Bad Thing #16) Finlay vs. The Miz while Morrison continuously calls Hornswaggle a toad.
jabandgrapple.com comment: I enjoy these guys but their Night of Champions tag team match seems like a bad idea.
Level of Badness: Really Good but this has nothing to do with Vickie, it’s an ECW matchup.

Photo Source: Newscom.com

Post from: EveryJoe

Vickie Guerrero Must Be Stopped Part Three

I recently updated my b5 profile with the intention of explaining how www.jabandgrapple.com could cover both the scripted fun of pro wrestling entertainment and the unexpected life-threating tension of professional boxing. My answer wasn’t that they both take place in rings and involve some sort of combat.

No, my explanation was that they are bookends of the sporting world with everything else existing in between their emotional bounds. Friday night was evidence of this evocative breadth. WWE’s SmackDown and ESPN’s Friday Night Fights were broadcast simultaneously and my Motorola DVR only allowed me to watch one at a time while taping both. I was forced to delve into both without distraction.

First up was the glorious costumed cabaret fun of SmackDown. The Undertaker was trying to take revenge out on a supposedly wheelchair-bound lady. People were fired, lives were affected, fear, trouble, mayhem, betrayal and loss were the pervasive themes.

We all know, however, that the situations were fake. That in the end the performers’ lives aren’t affected as far as career longevity and/or actual intended danger. Sure, unexpected tragedies can and have occurred but The Undertaker’s choke slam really isn’t endangering opponents; the Great Khali wasn’t really bleeding profusely from the mouth a few weeks ago. Their career paths are decided by scriptwriters and their salary, however modest, isn’t dependent on them winning.

Once SmackDown ended I switched over to the very real career arc of Chris Byrd, a 37-year-old who had just lost 37 pounds in an attempt to compete at the light heavyweight level. Things didn’t work out that well for the former heavyweight champion as he was beaten badly and knocked out in the ninth round. Byrd then deliriously apologized to his wife and handsome young son; he felt he had let them down.

The drama was real, the pain evident, and the tragedy too much to bear. Here was a man who put his life on the line in the ring and couldn’t bear the failure that he wrongly perceived himself to be.

Shortly after the fight doctors diagnosed Byrd with a separated shoulder and administered painkillers. Then the situation nosedived. His wife explained to ESPN, “They gave him Valium and morphine and we couldn’t wake him up,” she continued. “I was so scared. We had to rush him to the hospital.”

Byrd was revived late Friday night and returned home but the psychological pain will not end. Byrd will presumably not fight again at least not on the same championship level he was accustomed. He understands that he should retire.

His opponent Shaun George added after the fight “There’s going to come a point where you have to give it up. That’s the hard part because you love the sport. It’s sad for anybody, but especially someone like Byrd who is a two-time heavyweight champion.”

For me, the pathos was too much to bear, especially after watching its polar opposite at SmackDown.

So I turned the channel to the end of the Boston Celtics-Cleveland Cavs playoff game. I love the NBA but after the Byrd fight it seemed so superficial and so far removed from man’s essential struggle. So scripted and so much closer to pro wrestling than what I had just viewed.

Lives aren’t going to be affected by the Celtics loss no matter how angsty Kevin Garnett portrays himself; no matter how aloof and affected Ray Allen appears to be. They’ll pull in their guaranteed million dollar contract accept their loss, continue performing to David Stern’s script, move on and compete until their bodies can’t move. Just like Bruno Sammartino, just like Hulk Hogan and just like Ric Flair.

If Chris Byrd were to go back in the ring he might be killed, the fact that he’s still an elite boxer doesn’t matter. His skills just aren’t elite enough.

Think I’m off base? Comment below and tell me what you think.

Photo Source: Newscom.com

Post from: EveryJoe

The Real Drama of Boxing vs. the Fake Drama of the WWE and the NBA