In the grand history of rich people having friendly competitions about their rich things, this Hank Steinbrenner vs. John Henry rivalry is pretty tepid. They’re not ruining people’s lives for dollar bets. But still, John Henry has signed Hank Steinbrenner up for citizenship in the Red Sox Nation. Most people didn’t think that you could be part of the Evil Empire (which I’ll say again, is a fantastic marketing opportunity that the Yankees are missing out on) and the Red Sox Nation, but indeed, you can be part of as many team-state combination you choose. You can even make up your own titles. Indeed, check out what’s on my sporting passport.

I am a citizen of:

-the Evil Empire

-the New York Giants and Montenegro

-United Piston Emirates

- the People’s Republic of Michigan Wolverines

- Raptor Nation / Nation de Raptor

- the Federated States of the Big Ten

Additionally, I hold these titles:

- Ambassador to the Isle of Islanders

- Deputy Ambassador to the Principality of Grizzlies

- Special Diplomat to the Sultanate of the Arizona Cardinals

- Generalissimo of the Sonic Resistance (non-state actor)

Also, I have been granted these honors:

- High Priest of the Church of Jayhawk

- Raider Nation Medal of Honor

Long story short, I am also worshiped as a god in some regions of the Mountain West.

Yes! Can you believe it? Even more quotes about baseball and steroids that don’t just seem to be exactly clued in. This one is from extreme peripheral figure Hank Steinbrenner. Hank thinks baseball is unfairly being made the focus of performance-enhancing drugs in sports.

“I don’t like baseball being singled out,” the New York Yankees senior vice president said in a telephone interview with The Associated Press on Monday night.

“Everybody that knows sports knows football is tailor-made for performance-enhancing drugs. I don’t know how they managed to skate by. It irritates me. Don’t tell me it’s not more prevalent. The number in football is at least twice as many. Look at the speed and size of those players.”

A baseball figure made a meandering argument that didn’t address the issue but merely shifted blame. I wonder what style the NFL would use to respond.

Answered NFL spokesman Greg Aiello: “We’ve had year-round random testing with immediate suspensions since 1990 and we conduct approximately 12,000 steroids tests a year.”

Ok, first of all: Burn. Secondly, that is the essential difference between the NFL’s and MLB’s handling of steroids, et al. The NFL saw that there was a problem and addressed it to a satisfactory point pretty early on. MLB stubbornly refused to address the problem until it was to late. Sort of like how baseball deals with increased scrutiny by basically trying to shift the blame to football.