Jabandgrapple.com’s Top 10 WWE wrestlers for the week ending 8/25/08

Dear Jabandgrapple.com readers. Chances are next week’s wrestler rankings will be funnier, better written, provide smarter, crisper analysis, might include someone other than WWE wrestlers, and won’t show extreme prejudice towards Mark Henry, JBL, and Kane.
That’s right, this is Mr. Jabandgrapple’s last post. That doesn’t mean there won’t be another Mr. Jabandgrapple just like there was another Ultimate Warrior, another Kane, and another Undertaker. What’s that? There was only one Ultimate Warrior, one true Kane, and one true Undertaker.
That’s besides the point. Just goes to prove that the next …read more

Jabandgrapple.com’s Top 10 WWE wrestlers for the week ending 8/18/08

1. Undertaker (LW: 10)
He’s baaaaaaaaaack and he’s sending people to h-e double hockey sticks. We really didn’t realize how much we missed the Undead Superstar until his epic SummerSlam Hell in a Cell match. Amazing stuff in what might go down as an all-time great pro wrestling match.
2. Batista (LW: 1)
His match versus John Cena wasn’t the highlight of SummerSlam but hopefully we will see these two titans square off again.
3. Triple H (LW: 4)
He beat The Great Khali. Yawn. Let’s see him start feuding with Edge or Taker. The pedigreed …read more

Jabandgrapple.com’s Top 10 WWE wrestlers for the week ending 8/11/08

Monday night’s RAW and Tuesday’s ECW didn’t exactly bring us a lot of action while Friday night’s SmackDown was preempted in Mr. Jabandgrapple’s hometown by an Eagles vs. Steelers pre-season match-up. And while my DVR wasn’t intuitive enough to tape the delayed broadcast I was able to get a hold of the matches.
1. Batista (LW: 3)
The Animal channeled his ample anger and pinned Ted DiBiase, Jr. to become a half of an unlikely WWE Tag Team Champion pairing.
2. John Cena (LW: 2)
The other half of the new belt holders. We …read more

August’s b5media sports channel theme day is “favorites”. Presumably I’m supposed to tell you about my favorite pro wrestler and/or boxer. The thing is, as a sports blogger/expert analyst journalism ethics tell me that I can’t show favoritism. I can’t root for one fighter over another. It would destroy my credibility. It would severely undermine the high standards to which jabandgrapple.com aspires.
“Um, excuse me.” It seems the peanut gallery has something to say. “Everytime you write about Jeff Hardy you say ‘I love you Jeff Hardy, I love you Jeff Hardy’. And what about your ridiculous and overt pining for …read more

Jabandgrapple.com’s Top 10 WWE wrestlers for the week ending 8/03/08

How did I have ‘em last week? Check this link.
We got big shakeups in the jabandgrapple Top 10 this week. Why is that? Well, three of last week’s Top 10 didn’t wrestle this week. And one of ‘em fought Colin Delaney. Doesn’t count.
Also, I can’t reward people for not appearing at shows especially when Mr. Jabandgrapple has tickets to said show. Therefore HHH tumbles. I don’t care if his wife birthed a baby. I really don’t. The Harrisburg area has great hospitals. Bring her on the road. (I’m kidding…I think)
1. …read more

Jabandgrapple.com’s Top 10 WWE wrestlers for the week ending 7/27/08

Every week WWE.com rates their wrestlers. Which got me to thinking…I have a wrestling blog. Why can’t I rate them? So I did. And I will try to every Monday morning in preparation the next week of grappling fun.
Don’t go searching for the “last week” ratings that I refer to. I didn’t post them, they only existed in my mind.
Rankings
1. Triple H (LW: 1)
I might not like HHH but you can’t deny his championship clout. He hasn’t lost in ages, his mic skills are still impeccable, and he …read more

WWE SmackDown Live Blog, Part Two
Vladimir Kozlov def. Stevie Richards
The Great Khali wins a Battle Royale against Mr. Kennedy, M.V.P., Umaga, Jeff Hardy, and Big Show
Segment Four
Edge is trying to keep things going with Alicia Fox a/k/a the Wedding Planner. But Chavo Guerrero’s bodyguard Bam Neely is lurking in the corridor listening to their conversation. He’s not going to snitch on another man, is he? No self-respecting man would ever do that but Neely does. So sad.
Stevie Richards comes out to be the next Vladimir Kozlov’s latest cannon fodder. When will Kozlov fight someone good? When will he ever get …read more

Click F5 for updates
Match Number Eight
Triple H vs. Edge
for the WWE Championship
Triple H Wins
A WWE phone poll says 55% have more sympathy for Edge while 45% side with Vickie. We can’t believe that many people are with Vickie. Really surprising. Another Eve Torres moment…
…
…
Where were we? Edge comes out with nearly as much greasy wet hair as his opponent. The greasy hair gap has been closed. Edge to Edge. The bell rings and Edge rushes at him with the intensity of a woman scorned. Triple H easily eschews his impetuousness and starts the assumed beat down.
The entire front row has …read more

It wasn’t the return of Lita, it wasn’t an affair with the attractive wedding planner, and it wasn’t a Vince Vaughn-Owen Wilson-esque wedding crashing intervention by The Undertaker.
No, Edge and Vickie Guerrero were finally split apart by the volatile combination of Vickie’s horrible insensitivity towards her partner and Edge’s unbearable insecurity brought on by his shock loss of the World Heavyweight Championship.
We weren’t shocked as much by the breakup then by Vickie’s frequent switches from wheelchair-bound to able pedestrian.
Our favorite moment of the night was when Triple H couldn’t keep a straight face while talking to Vickie Guerrero. His …read more

WWE Night of Champions Pay-Per-View Results
I’m posting the WWE Night of Champions Pay-Per-View Results right here live. If I’m up to it I’ll live blog clever comments any funny stuff. If nothing funny or clever appears then I outsourced the Night of Champions results posts to Mrs. Jabandgrapple.
Match #8
Triple H def. John Cena to retain the WWE Championship
John Cena has to win this one. SmackDown can’t have both titles. Nevertheless, Mrs. Jabandgrapple’s intuition leans toward Triple H bringing both titles to Friday night. I have to agree.
Michael Cole says “If you’re not excited about this one then go home.” Well, …read more